Are you a leopard or a cougar? You’ve never heard of a woman being referred to as a leopard? Me neither. Here’s the def from Urban Dictionary, with my comments interspersed in bold:
NOT an “urban cougar” but still a single or divorced woman 35 to 55 (why the upper age limit? Do we just become unsexed at 56?), intelligent, successful, educated, secure in herself, her looks and her life. She enjoys the company of men on her terms. She does not seek younger men, older men or even men her own age. They seek HER. These women are far, far classier than the trashy “cougar” (oh, stop with the hokey women-to-women conflicts.) They do not frequent bars for pick ups, hook ups or anything other than a drink and some company with their girl friends. They do not hide their ages (unless they’re over 55?) or their attitudes and are impatient with obvious come ons. Mostly solitary, they are very, very difficult to hunt, hence “leopardess”. Katherine Hepburn would have been the Ultimate Urban Leopard(ess). You might call them a MILF if you want to get slapped (good; I was wondering when we’d stop using that insulting acronym). Also called a leopardess or quite simply, a grown woman.
“Dude. Don’t. That’s no cougar. That’s a leopard. She will smack your ass and send you home to Mommy.” –overheard in a bar
Lynne again. I can’t believe we even use terms like cougar, leopard, and MILF. As if our worth is still being defined only within the context of our f#*kability. What about all the other outstanding, magical aspects of our existence? Like creativity, productivity, love, heroism, practicing a profession, saving the country, raising kids, caring for parents, running corporations, running for office…
What a great site. Society (generally men) judges women on appearance only and fails to give credit whatever for intelligence, creativity, fitness, confidence, wit or professional success. Ignore the idiotic, judgmental labels and enjoy who you are at any age. I think this is what makes men and women attractive. Also suggest all women ignore any man whose sole focus is a bed (unless it’s 100% mutual). Really enjoyed Lucy’s comments. Am also a big fan of self (underlined several times) acceptance at any age or gender. It’s cool to see the obvious pride in the posts in here.
Full disclosure – I’m biased because I have always thought that women are clearly the better part of the human race!
Hey, Jim, love your comments. It’s great to get a guy’s point of view. Hope you’ll stop by again.
Yah, I knew that, Madeleine! And re coloring your hair, my friend Marla Miller (www.MarlaMiller.com) did the same and she looks wonderful! Good to hear from you.
Lynne. that should be “wildly over-priced concoction.”
All this anti-aging and looking good “for your age” stuff drives me crazy. I look good even though about a year and a half ago I stopped coloring my hair, which some people consider a sure sign that I am Letting Myself Go. (My BF doesn’t see it that way.) The focus on not looking old is a cynical way to make woman feel that they aren’t good enough the way they are but they can be a little better (at least for a little while) if they buy some widely over-priced concoction.
Your post and the comments are great.
Lynne, thanks for stopping by and commenting and following. I don’t know why you think we would disagree on some things, because I love your style already! It’s great to find a new friend. Loved your post!
Ditto, Sis! I’ve got you on Google Reader.
Great post, Lynne. My niece just turned 40, never married. People ask, “Why isn’t she married? Is she gay?” or my personal favorite, “Why hasn’t anybody snapped her up by now?” Like she has to wait for a man to “snap” her up. Her answer: Because I’m smart! Good Woman!
Oh and Helen Mirren? OMG even I want her-lol!
I found your blog after trying to find out where the terms cougar and leopard came from when describing women – Boy! Am I glad I did.
It makes me nauseous to realize that women, instead of seeing themselves as vibrant, intelligent and self reliant after 50 are still looking for acceptance from men – even if that is only as a piece of f#*kability meat.
But then again, if what they are calling a “leopard” is any gauge – I was a leopard at 20:) and called it “self confidence”.
Thanks for weighing in, Danielle. (I think I was a squirrel at 20.) I’m glad you found the blog, and I hope you’ll stop by a lot and comment. Any future comments will go directly onscreen, so no waiting next time. See you soon!
I was just wondering – there are all these cat names for mature women, but nothing for the male counterparts. Puppy certainly doesn’t fit. Tiger? No, it’s still a cat. Sorry, but I can’t seem to come up with anything. The only names I come up with would be too vulgar to mention. Hey, I got it! Dogs.
I’m with Kathy! I’ve known far too many people who are “old” at 21 and far too many who are “young” at 70. Hey, it’s just a number, right? And to think that not so long ago, we were adding half-years, months, etc. to our age, in order to appear more grown up (“I’m 13 and a half!!”)
Thanks for another enlightening post, Lynne! I agree,all this focus on youth/age is ridiculous. It’s just a number and we’re all lucky to be alive. Being 64 is beautiful and I am who I am not what someone else labels me by the number of years I am. I think it was Abraham Lincoln who said:”It’s not the years in life that count, it’s the life in those years” (or something like that!)
The cougar thing makes me crazy! You would think with age women would be secure enough to just be… Sexual, goofy, intelligent — funny. Great post.
Jamie, me, too! And I have to say, I am disappointed with More magazine, and all their emphasis on looking younger. I mean, nothing wrong with looking as great as you can, or as great as you want to, but those “how not to look old” articles make me want to scream. I wrote about it here.
Thanks for commenting. Any future comments will go right up on the post, instantly. Hope you’ll stop by again.
Oh, I so agree with this! Why can’t a woman simply look her age but still look great? I cannot stand to hear the term “for her age”, either! I have had this one tossed at me more frequently than I can remember: “Gosh, you’re 58? You look great for your age!” Argh! Yes, I am vain enough to work out regularly, eat well and dress nicely. I still care about hair (though I stopped coloring last year and am loving the pretty silver that is coming in) and makeup. I don’t strive to look younger, but I do like to look well put-together. I think I am a bright, capable, attractive woman, but I thought so when I was younger too. “For your age?” The next person to say that to me might be surprised at my response. It will be just that one time too many that I have heard it.
Love this one lynne-had to add here as well as on FB–hope you pursue this in ur blogging—really DIG it!!
Here’s the thing: if we remain quiet, they continue to assume all they want—drag along the cliches, stereotypes, etc–we’re either hot mamas prowling or little old ladies rocking—-
Older women are savvy; some are sexy as can be, some could care less….what we have in common is our voice & i dig the way you use yours here!
AND doesn’t Mirren look FAB!!!!
What gets me is the word ‘solitary’ that is used in the definition. They assume that a woman if divorced or single at that age is ‘solitary’.
Unfortunately, our culture judges a woman solely based upon her f**kability no matter what other attributes she may have and women over the age of fifty better look like a 20 year if she doesn’t want to be a ‘solitary’ figure in society.
I hate the labels. I hate the assumption that women over 45 have lost their sexuality, their vibrant nature, their lust for life, their intelligence and are just wasted bodies with bobbling heads atop, therefore undesirable and useless.
If there are women out there who have adopted the Cougar or Leopard label as a way of describing themselves …. please, please stop. You’re worth more than advertising yourself as a ‘desperate sperm disposal’ and babysitter for the insecure male babies of the world.
Holy Hellen Mirren — wow. Enough said. xox