We Boomers are a monster demographic. When I was in elementary school at St. Gregory’s, the nuns struggled to teach as many as sixty kids in a class. We’ve already changed the culture of this country. We can do that simply by our sheer size. There are so many of us, no matter what we do, a little bit goes a long way. Good or bad, yes, admittedly.
You’re old enough to remember the theory of The Big Lie; that is, if you say a thing long enough and loudly enough, people will start to believe it. Let’s try a few:
- Smoking is harmless.
- Cars will never get more than 20 miles per gallon.
- Saddam Hussein, yellowcake, WMD.
Well, how about we employ the Big Lie strategy to the promotion of this Big Truth:
It’s Good To Get Old.
You don’t have to think very hard to come up with benefits of aging. Sure, there’s all that stuff about having a more positive outlook and not panicking so easily, and having better control of your emotions and – oh, yeah! Bilateralization. That’s a biggie. (Last winter, I wrote four posts about the positive changes to the aging brain. You can start with the first one and scroll through.)
But on a simpler level, how about the fact that many of us get to cut back or stop working? My brother-in-law just turned 66 a week ago. Instead of full-on retirement, he now works a few days a week. If he feels like it. As a trucker, he’s had to be at work by 4 a.m. for years. Now, he can go in late and leave early, and the boss is grateful.
At midlife and older, many of us start small businesses, particularly women. Some of us are able to volunteer, helping out with causes we believe in. Or maybe we just do more for our families. It’s no biggie. As a grandmother, the little guys wear me out but I get to go home and sleep through the night.
At this age, my siblings, friends and I talk about what we’re going to do with our free time. It’s like graduating from high school. Back then, we were exuberant to think we could chart our own course, no teachers or bell schedule to answer to. I feel the same way now, a sense of rising excitement. Sometimes I work on my next novel, but other times, maybe I’ll go to a movie in the middle of a weekday. Even running boring errands is more enjoyable when everybody else is at work and you have the place to yourself. On the weekends, Bill and I tend to stick around home. We don’t want to fight the crowds.
And the other bennies: I keep going through my closet, weeding out the career outfits I no longer use, especially the heels. Even if they’re low; I don’t care for them. And if I don’t care for something, I can usually avoid it. I have that freedom now.
In spite of the physical stuff, old can be pretty cool. Unless you’re a slave to youth culture, which by now you should have the confidence to rise above. So, given that it’s true, not even a lie, how about we start talking about it? Just try not to gloat around the younger people. We don’t want them to feel bad about their age.
Mom enjoying Carlsbad with my sister. In midweek. We had the place to ourselves.
Wow! Lynne, this is blog is whole new concept to me. Although I knew people like you were out there, I hadn’ t met any or many I should say. And here are a whole bunch of people like me on your blog along with your friends. I Loved reading about all of you. I am following this blog and maybe reading your books while I’m at it.
All I can say is thanks, Kathleen POoler for introducing me to you. Keep on, keeping on! 🙂
Thanks, Clarike!
Lynne,
On the days in which I am feeling highly evolved (and not mourning the loss of my skin and muscle tone) I run around and holler, “Thank you God/Goddess/Universe for my life, I am the luckiest woman in the world!” At 64 I am not “out there” any longer — i am a simple homemaker, gardener, quilter and a wife to a great buddy. My children are grown and my grandchildren are in double digits. I am out of the work race completely. Oh believe me, I tried to stay in the race but “they” did not want me. Aw shucks, that meant a few changes — to lower my household costs i have to grow my own food from seeds, sew, and let Comcast TV go. I LOVE the trade offs. Today, i harvested potatoes, carrots, onions, kale, peppers and beans from the backyard — i’m making soup from the bounty and will add fish to the stock later. . . I am happy i raised my family and i am happy i no longer do that 24/7. I had some jobs that were fun and some that were awful. I am thrilled i no longer have to keep my mouth shut or cover up for a boss who should never have been a boss in the first place — not my problem any longer. The house is owned free and clear (my biggest goal) and I love my freedom. If i would pass on any advice to the younger folks, I would say this: yes, it can be so hard sometimes but stop using credit cards on non-essential purchases (how many pairs of high heels do you need?) ; buy a little, (emphasis on little) affordable home and pay it off in 20 years; grow veggies and flowering plants in your yard (things that make you smile) after all you own it; try not to have too many children (yes, they are sweet, and they have your genes) but it takes a lot of money and energy to do the job well; and never compromise your soul for your work or the people you work for. sorry i ran on there Lynne 🙂
I love your positive attitude and look forward to your posts. In fact, I usually share them with a “Fantastic Ageless Boomers” Facebook group. Keep up the good work.
Sandy, that makes me happy, because the more people who think about the actual benefits we get to enjoy at this time of life, the happier we’ll collectively be! We could start a movement.
What I like most about being older is knowing how dumb I was when I was young and realizing I might not be rid of all my dumbness. This last you might think degrading or depressing. It is not. I like knowing my limitations more than thinking I am omnipotent.
All of this came back to me as I observed the picture of your mother and sister standing on a Southern California beach. I lived at Venice Beach when I was twenty-six and I thought it was not very good as compared to New Jersey beaches. Since then I have seen the picture you portrayed and those pictures of other friends proving I was just on the wrong California Beach.
Next time around I am kicking more sand.
Great to hear from you, Bob. I just started working with a mentor to get smarter about some stuff, and am not daunted by “dumbness.” Since I survived most of it, and hope to in the future.
Lynne, you make me long to retire so I can really start living. I am going to send this to my sister, who retired after 33 years of teaching. Whenever I start feeling grumpy about my sags, bags, wrinkles and all, I pop over to Any Shiny Thing and feel uplifted. Sure beats a nip & tuck any day.
Awww, Pat, you should see my big smile! What a nice comment, thanks.
It is always nice to read that there are Like minded people in our world.
I love my age for exactly the things you have said.
I am amazed at how much “stuff” I have gotten rid of without a second thought.
I love that I can be me and not have to worry about the pressures of society.
Thanks Lynne , again you have hit the nail on the head.
~~Kathleen
Kathleen, thanks for saying so. I actually had a different post all ready to go, but it was kind of bleak, and I only realized that fact at the 11th hour. But part of being older is to lighten up! At least in my opinion. I tend to be too serious, so this was a fun post to write. And my mom’s picture says it all.
PS Are you seeing any sun?
Aging still has its’ worries but your post has lightened things up a bit. I LOVE the freedom to go to bed and get up at whatever time I want! Just looking at a pair of heels makes my back hurt … so yay, no more heels. I’m finding such cute “casual” outfits … still stylish but no more belts, pleats, shoulder pads or zippers – I’m over 50 and elastic is my friend :). No meetings, schedules, deadlines. It’s wonderful. Even household chores aren’t so bad. Hey, those dirty dishes and dust bunnies will wait till afternoon, or tomorrow morning; they’re not going anywhere but I may want to. If people stop by, they better be coming to see me, not a spotless house, or they can take leave.
You’re right, there are some good things about aging. Thanks for the thought provoking post.
My pleasure, Cheryl. I stopped in at Stein Mart the other day and found some elastic-waisted pairs of pants that are straight out of the 60s. Cher would have worn them on stage with Sonny. I was a little shy about wearing them to my critique group but the women were all over them. LOVED them. I’ll have to post a picture. Part of the fun, in my opinion, is to find a style that is comfortable, good-looking, and unique. Because I don’t have to worry about whether they’re appropriate for work! (or anywhere else).
Love this! And I love the link to the post about older women. Thank you.
You’re welcome, Robin, Thanks for saying so.
You’ve captured so many of my thoughts in this post. I feel very lucky to be where I am now. I also know that I have an obligation to my even older self to stay as healthy and active as possible so I can continue to enjoy this freedom for as long as possible. I try not to gloat but sometimes it is hard not to.
Janis, I wonder if part of the reason we denigrate aging is because the first denigrator was trying to downplay our gleefulness so as to not make others feel bad, and it got out of hand!
Yes, my mom always said “Lynne, what an imagination!”
(She still does.)
And I can’t say in front of my hardworking adult children how freakin’ happy I am to not have to go to work anymore. They’re in the heat of it, raising kids, working hard, and still trying to figure out who they are and what they want out of life. Jeez, it’s good to be older.
There is much to be said for getting older. I am finally comfortable with who I am and peer pressure, what’s that? Yes, the grandchildren tire me out faster than my own kids did when I was young but like you said I can go home or send them home. 😉
Lois, re peer pressure, I just bought a pair of those sunglass-clipons to put on my driving glasses, and I’m so excited because they’re polarized! After wearing them for a couple weeks I caught sight of myself in my rearview and cackled. God, I look silly. But I love them so I wear them everywhere. Nice to put my own comfort ahead of style.
I’m going to gloat. Remember Andy Rooney’s praising older women? We don’t give a hoot what the unidentified other thinks. Thanks, Lynne!
Linda, that essay by Rooney was priceless. Or so I thought, having read it and loved it! But when I went to find it so I could link it to this comment for everyone to enjoy, I found out he actually didn’t write that piece! It was by a guy named Frank Kaiser, and he and Andy apparently struck up an acquaintance over the misattribution. Here is the original essay, and thanks to Frank Kaiser for showing us we don’t have to give a hoot about the unidentified other! https://web.archive.org/web/20010309110258/http://suddenlysenior.com/praiseolderwomen.html
You got this so right! I keep telling people, “I wouldn’t work again if they PAID me!” So busy using my free time the way I dreamed of using it when I had none. We could co-opt that wonderful slogan: “It gets better.”
Jan, I have often thought that, to tell the kids it gets better! But first, I’d have to tell them they’re in the pits right now, and I am afraid of bumming them out. But dang, I’m happy!