I’ve read that you can divide up the human lifespan into three distinct age groups. Each one is unique and powerful. But more than that, they need each other.
In the first part of life, as a prepubescent child, it’s said you are most authentic, because hormones and societal norms haven’t changed you yet (I’m paraphrasing Dr. Christiane Northrup.)
In middle-age, most of us sublimate that authenticity as a tool of survival – our own and others’. This usually involves caring for family, earning a paycheck, paying taxes, and (hopefully) building for retirement.
Middle-adulthood is hard work.
Thus in midlife, the world needs you to set aside your individuality in support of the greater good. Families, communities, and civilization depend on your selflessness at this stage. We all appreciate you! But it can feel soul-killing at times.
My friend, Dorys, who I love for her wisdom and wisecrackery.
In the last third of life, you have the potential to become your authentic self again. Hopefully, you are at least partly retired, and have more free time. You can sleep all day or start a revolution.
When I speak to groups about positive aging, there’s a danger that the older people will begin chortling. They’re so excited they sometimes make the middle group feel bad.
So I remind the younger peeps that they still get the good skin, powerful bodies, and the ability to snap back quickly from illness.
I joke that the level of stress that young adults experience, between work and family, would kill me. I don’t actually think I’m joking.
All three age groups have their own strengths, and we can help each other. Recently, I was talking to the American Business Women’s Association about seeing the positive in aging, and a couple of stressed-out 30-somethings began to lament the pressures of their lives. My audience of mostly-50-plussers became nurturing and sympathetic. The older women rallied around, asking questions and remembering how it felt to be in that middle-age tornado. They offered encouragement and support. The meeting ran long. We couldn’t stop talking! All of us walked away that night feeling better. Such bonding! Such fellowship.
The noted researcher, Dr. George Vaillant, says the ability to learn from the younger generations is one of the hallmarks of successful aging, along with the ability to give back.
Don’t cut yourself off from other age groups. We all have something to offer.
You can read more about positive growth and human development at this website.
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This is so true, Lynne. We need to keep the lines of communication open between generations for at each age and stage, we have so much to offer one another.
Hi Lynne, I have never felt my age. Ethel told everyone who would listen I could do anything I decided to do. When I was forty I went back into construction competing with 18-20 year grp in Palm Springs. They called me the old man and marveled I was there working beside them at such a decrepit age. When you retain an enthusiasm for life and learn I feel you transcend the age differences
I have to admit I may be going back down the ladder. They tell me I am getting more childish every year.
I doubt childish, my friend. Child-like, maybe, in the very best ways. Like how open you are to wonder, to the miracles in life. Sometimes we make our own luck, and you are tenacious.
I too have always had friends in several age groups. Most recently I lived in a university town where my neighbors (and friends) ranged from small children wanting to learn from me, university students who loved to sit outside and talk about the big problems in the world and their views but they also looked to me for my opinions and seniors who had even more to teach me. I love them all but it’s the small children I believe keep me young.
Lois, my husband and I babysat our grandkids for 3 years. Various permutations of the arrangement over that time; with first child it was 5 days a week, when second one arrived it was 4 days. Etc. When we got to 2 days a week @ 10 hours each, it was still a lot! And we became conversant about babies with young parents. We’d be at the preschool or playground, jabbering away with parents. It was a whole different world! I developed a HUGE respect for young people. I forgot how hard it was. I could go on about the experience for an hour or two. Such a great memory.
Enjoyable article, Lynne. I’ve always crossed the “age categories” … no matter which one I happen to be in. It’s so much more interesting. Even as a youngster, I had senior friends throughout our small town, and I’d bicycle around for afternoon visits.
Right now, I’m 65 (in just a few days). My oldest friend is 93, but her BD is the day before mine, so soon she’s 94. She and I and another wonderful gal (80+) , have been close friends for over thirty years. My youngest friend is my neighbor boy Ray, who is five now and antsy to get to kindergarten. We collect rocks and flowers in the field, and he and his sisters make me pictures and potholders 🙂 I also have friends within my age group, and from the middle category too!
Maybe being an artist helps me recognize creativity and connection with all ages.
I think being an artist opens a person’s mind in many ways beyond the conventional. You’re demonstrating that, Cheryl. Thanks for weighing in.