McCartney then
I saw that headline atop this story a few days ago and of course my first reaction was anger. But then I read the article, and this comment by the writer, Lee Zimmerman, touched me:
McCartney now
Young people don’t have a monopoly on zest, enjoyment, adventure… Sure, energy and enthusiasm may wane as we get older, but the primal urges that stir our psyche — especially when it comes to the music that moves us — continues to create a bond. At a certain age, it transitions from a rallying cry into nostalgia, allowing the music of our memories to exert a powerful grasp… Perhaps more than ever.
Heart, then
Heart, now
Do you ever find yourself next to an elderly person and wonder who he used to be? Do you ever take a minute to think that behind that crevassed face and stooped posture is a person who once leapt for joy, cashed his first paycheck, fell in love, and maybe raised a family?
Behind the looks, implies Zimmerman, is an artist whose years of experience could only yield greater depth of creative expression, topped by the sweetness and bite of nostalgia. How could their music be any less wonderful than it was in their youth?
Don’t poison what is with regrets about what was.
Is that even possible? Sure, looks aren’t everything, but they’re a lot. The beauty of youth suggests power: strong backs, flexible knees, supple dendrites, powerful voices. (Did you know the reason elderly folks’ voices get high and thin is because the collagen in their throats dissipates? Yep. Like everything else.)
Thing is, you can’t let it get to you. You’re still here. You have to respect your life! Wring the value and the blessings from it.
Besides, trying to judge yourself on society’s standards is a game you can’t win. Here’s an article about how fashion designers are now using 13-year-old models. Seems the 16-year-old girls were too big, what with having passed puberty and all.
When our culture declines to the point of preferring a little girl’s body over that of a normal, grown woman, I’m opting out of the fashion zeitgeist. Declare victory and go home. As the computer said, the only way to win is not to play.
I mean, I get the concept of “aspirational.” I don’t necessarily want to see a model who looks like me. Where’s the challenge to improve myself? But 13?
Stevie now
Stevie then
I make fun of More magazine once in a while (“This is what 4o+ looks like!” Right.) But I like the editor, Lesley Jane Seymour. If you read between the lines of her monthly editorial letters in the magazine, you definitely sense her frustration in trying to serve us. Her readers want to see real models, but they also want to be inspired by what might be possible. It’s a thin line to walk.
Aging is a bummer, no question. Bodies break down. My mom has been through so much in the past 18 months. Broken leg, follow-up surgery when the pain wouldn’t stop, cataract surgery, removal of a basal cell thingy on her face that required reconstructive surgery. I drive her to all her doctor appointments, and after surgery I usually stay with her. We’ve experienced it together, for better and worse.
Mom, then
Mom, now
Yesterday she chipped a tooth. I said, “Thank God you didn’t need a root canal.” She said if that had been the case, she would have sat down and shot herself. I told her it would have been a murder suicide. We laughed so hard we had to hang up.
I am watching PBS pledge drive about the British invasion with many of the performers as now aging rockers. The music takes me right back to the sixties and it is hard to see and think of myself as a middle aged woman. I went looking for an something that speaks to how I feel and came across your article.
I’m glad you found us, Yael. I hope you will stop by often.
Great article. Like you, I’ve spent a lot of time with my mother at the hospital recently too. Despite the circumstances, it’s nice to share the time together.
One thing I did a few years ago to preserve all the old memories was to write a book about her life. I interviewed her about her experiences, taped recoreded it, and then transcriped it. I added some picturers and viola!. Now the grandkids will one day be able to see their grandmother as a real person too.
“Despite the circumstances, it’s nice to share the time together.” So true. Those words really resonate for me. It’s real life, and in spite of the pain and sometimes downright agony, it’s quality time. Much more real than 2 hours making idle conversation in the living room and then heading back for your regular life. Since she moved, Mom IS part of my regular life. Up close and personal. I don’t always like it, but I treasure it. Thanks for writing.
PS, I’m so excited for Dakota Blue’s book launch especially as I reflect back to those practice pitch sessions in the lunch line in Cincy.:-)
Thanks, Kathy! I’m working on a book trailer right now. I can’t wait to show it to you.
Well said, Lynne! Aging has its downfalls but it sure beats the alternative. And humor tempers it all as evidenced by you and your Mom! I’m fascinated by the wisdom of the elderly when I stand still long enough to listen. Looking beyond the wrinkled faces and faded memories and visualizing them as younger people with hopes and dreams is so important.
Yes, every face tells a story and the way I see it the more wrinkles and rough spots, the more fascinating the tale. So heartwarming to read about how you are taking care of your mom and helping her fight back after every health setback. Also just noticed your Dakota Blues is coming out in a month. Loved the cover. Can’t wait to read it!!!
Pat, it’s getting closer to reality! And thanks for your latest blog post. I love your travelog and pix of a European experience I will probably never see. So beautiful!! http://pattymackz.com/wordpress/
I love looking at people and imagining their lives. Not only are they (we) full of past experiences, but they are full of possibilities made all the more rich by what has come before. I appreciate reading your thoughts that remind me of the deeper world.
Thanks.
And I love hearing from you! Hope you are well and enjoying life.
As it happens, I’m also working on a post about aging rockers. My take is that the great ones are energetic and passionate about the music. They’ve still got it.
Mick Jagger looks much older than his chronological age–due to years of drug abuse and wild living. He reminds me of people who’ve spend way too much time in the sun or abused one substance or another (legal or illegal) for decades. Not a judgment, just an observation.
And no matter how bad they look, they still have full heads of hair. reminds me of that old joke: “why do you think they call it HAIR-oine!?”
Well said, Sistah! Aging is something that happens to all of us, if we’re lucky. There’s no reason an aging rocker can’t continue to rock, no reason an aging actress can’t continue to act. It’s sad that we’ve been conditioned to look at the outward person, rather than marvel at their inner beauty and talent. I totally empathize with you on caring for your mom — it’s hard, time-consuming effort, but I know one day we’ll be glad we made the sacrifice (and I know our moms are glad right now!)
Thanks Debbie. It’s so cool that she lives near me. It’s easy to spend time with her.