How long has it been since you thought about your “prime of life”? Are you in it, past it, or still waiting? Actually, when is the prime of life?
One dictionary defines prime of life as the time of maturity when power and vigor are greatest. Power and vigor can be defined different ways.
We pretty much know what power is.
Christine Lagarde, France
As for vigor, one definition is having bodily or mental strength or force.
One demonstration of mental vigor in older age is patience. Older people can stand in line, wait, distract themselves, and bide their time better. Another aspect of mental vigor is remaining curious and open after all the living we’ve done. A third might be the emotional vigor it takes to deal with drama in a calm and rational way. None of this is a given, but lots of older people acquire it.
But we’re so used to denigrating age that we’ve gotten out of the habit of thinking of ourselves as being in the prime of life, even if we feel that way.
Robi Ludwig, 51-year-old psychotherapist and author, said in this article:
“…when midlife was first defined, it used to be called the prime of life…Culturally, we live in a place, a society that over-idealizes youth, and even though youth is great, it maligns midlife in a very unfair and inaccurate way, and we do internalize that. Listen, we are affected by our environment.”
When is the POL? My 16-year-old granddaughter is beautiful beyond words, so you could say that physically she’s in her prime, but psychologically she’s still very new. My adult kids, for all their physical and mental prowess, aren’t as worldly as older people. A fifty-year-old might be closer to what I would consider POL, considering all her experience and life-learning, but I think its the sixties.
Prime for me is about emotional depth. I think I’m in my prime, but from what I’ve heard, the 70s are pretty fantastic, too.
According to this article, we’re starting to understand that human development doesn’t stop once you reach adulthood. Here’s a long but marvelous excerpt:
Two lessons grow out of this…The first is that human development…continues across the life span. And while individual development is shaped by (external) values, roles, and expectations, these do not predetermine a person’s path through adulthood, which is a product of one’s personality, choices, opportunities, and good or bad luck.
A second and even more important lesson is that in recent years women and men have acquired much more control over their pathway through adulthood. The norms, roles, and expectations that defined the standard life course have eroded, leaving individuals freer than ever to choose the way they wish to live…
Freedom can be a burden. It is, of course, easier, in many respects, to follow a prescribed, predictable life path. But it is far better in the end to act like a true grown-up and decide for oneself what kind of life one wants to lead.
I choose to see myself as in my prime. I’m so grateful and happy, wrinkles, sagging skin and all.
How would you define Prime of Life, and do you feel that you might be in it?
Greetings, Lynne!
It’s great to see you here, and wonderful to have another question to contemplate. The responses from others are enCOURAGEing and positive and I find myself agreeing with Judy Howard…every age is prime! Like Kathleen said, perspective and attitude definitely help to enhance our experience.
While in my 40’s, the following quote from Gail Sheehy’s book, NEW PASSAGES, inspired me to consider how I would like to spend my 50’s and 60’s and beyond:
“A woman who reaches 50 today — and remains free of cancer and heart disease — can expect to see her ninety-second birthday.”
Realizing that there are 4 decades between 50 and 90…and there are only 3 decades between 20 and 50…I KNEW I had to begin to make a plan as to how I would choose to spend these “bonus years.”
Understanding that there were possibly thirty years between ages 60 and 90 available to use in whatever way I chose, inspired me to begin “working out” physically and mentally by moving my body in new ways and using my brain to continue educating myself in preparation for my next career choice.
We have the “potential” of a complete second adulthood after age 50, and I wanted to be ready!
It has taken me several years to establish myself in my encore career as a Tour Director, and I can definitely say I am living in the “prime of my life” for now. My power comes from the ability to say “Yes or No” when it comes to how I would like to spend my time, and my vigor makes it possible for me to physically and mentally follow through on the commitments I make.
As Judy said, life is good!
Sue, I absolutely love your comment. Makes me want to shout with glee, because for the longest time, I’ve been saying this:
“At age 50, you will probably have as many good years left as it took you to raise a family. What are you going to do with it?”
And that’s really even downplaying it, as you’ve demonstrated so well with your analysis. But it hadn’t even struck me that there are even more productive adult years, theoretically, in the second half of life than in the first.
And I am struck over and over again, the more these positive ideas take hold, how blind we’ve all been, holding up youth as EVERYTHING GOOD, and older age as the pits. Good God, what a gift we stand to squander. But not us, not the people who opine at Any Shiny Thing! Thanks, Sue!
“…what a gift we stand to squander.”
You make a great point with this comment, Lynne. When we don’t realize the potential and possibilities, when we are so “caught up” living life in our present conditions, and when we are so invested in “distractions” that keep us from doing the deep thinking and contemplating that real “life changing maneuvers” require…we stay stuck.
Sadly, if we wait until retirement to begin to make preparations, it may be too late to really make a “leap.”
It seems to me that a “life-transition class” at “mid-life” could be beneficial to those who would like to make the most of their 50’s, 60’s and beyond.
Every age is prime. We are always exactly and perfectly where we are supposed to be. Like it or not! Ah there is the rub. Prime is a matter of perspective!!
Judy, you are so right. And when the hell are you coming back to Hemet?
I’m lucky to have had active parents to show me how joyful the “prime of life” can be. They camped, hiked, danced, traveled, and lived life to the fullest. After my mom passed away in her early seventies, my dad continued full speed ahead into his eighties. I’m doing my best to follow their excellent example of how to live my golden years… so long as I can keep all my parts in working order!
Wow, Sandy, you are definitely a writer. What a lovely comment! I can see this vibrant couple in my mind. Yes, you are lucky to have had that great example. My mom is like that but my dad wasn’t.
Loved this. And the pictures! So fun to see. Right now I don’t feel in my prime of life cause I broke my foot and have been either in bed or wearing a ‘boot’ for a month now. But the good news is that I have been getting caught up on all the good (and bad) movies out there that I never have seen and my husband has even been spoiling me a bit. Life is good. Hope you are fine, sis.
Listen to you, Judy. “Life is good” you say, and indeed it is. Even if we’re laid up with a broken foot. Love your attitude, Sis!
I agree with Kathy. I would have to say that though I am physically weaker, my mental toughness is much greater. Though my body may be letting me down, it has forced me to slow down and look inward for strength. In the past I just ran, ran, ran from problems, now I must ponder and reflect and search deeply within my soul.
So your heart and brain are in their prime, Pat. This seems to be the way “prime” shifts as we age. Prime of life needs a new definition. It’s got to be clarified — or maybe not! Because it moves with us as our strengths and level of satisfaction change.
As always, Lynne, I so appreciate your perspective on this thing we call aging. I would agree that now–being in my sixties–feel pretty darn prime. There’s a sense of clarity and perspective, seasoned with gratitude and humor, that I simply didn’t have when I was younger–even just a decade younger. I’d always thought of the “golden years” as that time when one fades off into the sunset. But now I think of them as truly golden–rich, shiny and valuable.
We weren’t told much about how good it could be. This is a wonderful revelation, isn’t it?
Interesting reframing of the question. Thanks for a post that makes me think! The hardest birthday for me was 45, because I figured I was at least halfway done. But now 12 years later I feel great. Much more confident and much more able to relax and enjoy my life. I feel healthy, even with some physical aches and some lack-of-estrogen-fog. Overall this IS a wonderful time of life!
Heidi, I think the late 40s can be a bit upsetting for people, because we’ve been taught (acculturated) to believe it’s The End of The Good Part. But so much of how we judge aging is based on how we stack up to youth: our skin, our physicality. I guess it’s harder to sell skin care if you tell people they’re going to be awesome at 70. Fear is a time-honored sales motivator.
For me, 57 was pretty good, but I was still finding myself, since I was still a little bit menopausal. Now, 5 years later, I’m flying! I feel like that pic of Christine Lagarde, all power and elbows. I predict you’ll enjoy your age more and more, especially when we break free of the fecundity mandate. Have fun!
Thanks, always great to know that it gets better! (FYI: Menopause came and went for me in my early 40s–which may explain my mid 40s funk. Point is not all women go through it in their 50s.)
Hi Lynne! Good to see the link to your blog post this morning AND the great reminder that right now is the Prime of My Life! I like thinking of it as POL too. Our POL is such an indicator of how we are feeling about ourselves and our world at any given time. The more we wish for other times, either the past or the future, the more we miss the good right in front of us. ~Kathy
P.S. Besides just linking the title of the blog post you might have a setting where you can share the beginning paragraph…I know I can. That way you can “hook” people into what you will be sharing. Just another thought….
I have that, Kathy, but it’s real short, and I see from the way you do yours that a longer one would be more juicy. Thanks for the tip. Keep ’em coming!
I can’t think of a better place to be in, Lynne. I’m healthy. financially secure, rich in experiences, rich in family and friends, and I wake up early every morning, so I won’t miss my most energetic hours—that’s because I have so much I want to do! But this decade (I’m in my 70s) has given me something else: I’m more able to find balance between being and doing. It’s taken me all these years to accomplish this, so I guess that puts me squarely in the Prime of Life! Great post, Lynne!
That is my holy grail, Diane: balance. I still struggle with it, and hope that as I evolve, I’ll develop it. Because for me, too, the morning hours are the most energetic, inspired, clear-headed. So if I want to work on my novel, I have to do it then; or I might give the morning to my blog. Usually can’t do both.
I have heard the 70s are maybe the best, most golden decade, the perfect confluence between knowledge and energy. You are definitely in your prime!
Thank you for a thought-provoking post, Lynne, and thank you, Kathleen, for your ideas.
Even though I am in my mid-60s, and face several serious health issues, my life is rich. There is an awareness to what matters, to me. I’d say “prime of life” can be at any age, and the physical/emotional/mental prime can come at any time. When they overlap, there is no stopping us! And, we may find that what we thought was the prime of life actually gets better; like Kathleen said, attitude and perspective are key.
Amen, Ginger. You’ve summarized it neatly.
Lynne, despite the health challenges that have accompanied me into my seventies, I have to say that I am in my emotional, and spiritual prime now. Grateful for second chances and living my life without regrets. Accepting what is and doing what I can when I can. Loving my life! Thanks for another great post, my friend.
Oh, Kathy, your positive attitude just lifts me up. Thanks for sharing it with us.
You’re welcome, Lynne. I believe attitude and perspective are key elements in accepting the aging process and learning to live life to the fullest.