You never wanted to be a “little blue-haired lady,” did you? Yet here we are.
Renowned fashion magazine editor Lesley Jane Seymour suggests we stop buying classics and branch out with some kind of flair. “That’s how we spotlight our uniqueness (as opposed to what we wanted to do in our twenties, which was to blend in.) Find a killer coat in an unusual print or color and wear it to death.”
When we get older, a new song begins to play in our heads, over and over again. It’s the “I’m not going to live forever” anthem.
It can make us go through our dresser drawers and closets and get mad about how we’ve missed out on all the fun of wearing our favorite things, because of public opinion. But if not now, when? Then we get a murderous light in our eyes. We hold the object up, shake it at the ceiling in a clenched fist, and shout:
I’m going to wear this and I don’t care WHAT they damn think.
You have something like that, don’t you? Something you love, but you’re never quite sure of wearing. Maybe a nice pair of shoes that would really only go well with a very nice pair of slacks, to a very nice event. You look at them, and sigh, and think, some day. Then you hear my voice in your head, saying ever so politely:
SCREW THAT! They’ll look fabulous with jeans!
Maybe you have a flashy jacket, or a sweater with little baubles sewn all over it. What are you waiting for?
Maybe you have a big red hat that feels just a bit pretentious. So you let your granddaughter wear it, for fun. But only around the house, because you don’t want it to get wrecked, or lose it.
Maybe you have a pair of earrings your sweetie bought for you on your late-in-life honeymoon cruise. You wore them on the ship, but then when you got home and realized they’re not really for every day. So you put them away.
And then, years later, you’re going through your stuff and remember that morning in Bora Bora, when the two of you ran through a tropical downpour, laughing at your umbrellas turning inside out, shaking off the drops in the doorway of the magical jewelry store near the boat docks, strategically placed to take advantage of the idiot tourists.
You’re looking at those earrings one day, and the anthem begins. Suddenly, you don’t give a shit that they look like giant black marbles on your ear lobes, you’re wearing them to the grocery store. Maybe with the hat.
Because at this age, we have learned the hard way that there is something way more important than what other people think.
It’s called mortality.
Related articles across the web
I couldn’t agree more! We spend too many years worrying about what others think, when we should be embracing and expressing our individual personalities.
Love the red hat. Sharing an old poem about older women finally becoming — wild and colorful. You probably know it but here it is:
“When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat that doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me,
And I shall spend my pension
on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals,
and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired,
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells,
And run my stick along the public railings,
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people’s gardens,
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat,
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go,
Or only bread and pickle for a week,
And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats
and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry,
And pay our rent and not swear in the street,
And set a good example for the children.
We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me
are not too shocked and surprised,
When suddenly I am old
and start to wear purple! ~ Jenny Joseph
Heather, I think this was the poem that launched the Red Hat groups. Worth rereading from time to time! Thanks for the reminder.
The Oprah essay-wasn’t that in your short story and essay book? Was so enjoyable.
It was! Good memory.
Hey, that red hat and the earrings look great 🙂
Thanks, they’re fun, too.
🙂
I remember you wearing that sweater to a guild meeting. It was so pretty. And that hat! I have a huge black one and one hot day I wore it to the grocery store. A lady stopped me and commented on it. She said, “You must have a lot of confidence to wear a hat like that out in public”. I haven’t worn it since-but now I think I will dust it off and give it a try.
Judy, that poor sweater. When I finally had the nerve to wear it somewhere than to a family dinner, it got raves. And then I noticed some of the baubles are about to fall off…it’s so old the thread is wearing out. Really breaks my heart. I ignored it until it got old and fragile. What a great metaphor. WEAR THE BLACK HAT. An “accusation” of confidence should fill your heart with warmth. Here’s an essay on feeling so confident you could almost explode: https://anyshinything.com/sleepwalking-through-life/being-oprah
I am inspired.
Oh, I thought I was the ONLY one having trouble dribbling out my old professional wardrobe to the local Goodwill! I do NOT WANT EVER to wear those clothes again and yet I keep them here. I have a large closet, but 3/4ths of the contents comprise my Museum for Clothes of a Former Role. Time to donate them all and look for color and splash! Thanks for this inspiration, Lynne.
Love this…”Museum for Clothes of a Former Role”…THANKS for sharing that, Jan!
Love this! And now I’m thinking of the cloche hat that I bought a number of years ago because I loved it. It’s in my closet and I’ve never worn outside of the house . . . Hmmmm . . .
Thanks for this great reminder, Lynne! I’ve bought fun clothes that are still hanging in my closet, waiting for the “right” occasion. It’s time to rip off the tags and make wearing them the occasion!
My closet was full of “school clothes” after I retired. A year ago…a little over 4 years into retirement…I made a change in my “professional wardrobe” for the partime work I do now as a tour director.
The one “new look” for me that took me the longest to embrace, is now one of my favorites…a tunic top with leggings.
It’s a change of “style”…and I love the way I look.
And feel, too, I imagine. I had the corporate wardrobe, too. It took me years to let it go, which I could only do in little bits, over time. It was my identity for so long!
This is the first confirmation I have had of the idea that dressing colorfully is a sign of older. I wear sneaks (walking shoes) of various colors to match my shirt. The wardrobe also includes a sports coat, currently black, blue, light something, and green. This is my chaplain’s dress. I did not want to look too chaplainy around those who are healing. I thought I was dressing for the patients, but it may be per your thoughts and others, I am dressing for me. In my mind, I dress for others only on days I meet with administration. For them I wear black sneakers.
Bob, your outfits sound respectful but with a touch of art and whimsy, which would have to lift up those you’re counseling.