At our age, some of us are beginning to feel material possessions are a burden. Maybe we’re returning to our sixties roots, or maybe we’re tired of the family-sized house, the multiple sets of dishes, the appliances. We’ve had it with closets full of clothes, linens, and seasonal decorations that now feel like a job to take out, set up, pack up and put away. With our kids grown and careers not so much of a consideration, it’s easier to lighten your footprint.
When the local storage unit raised our rates, Bill and I shipped the footlocker full of baseball cards back to our 30-something son, donated the extra set of golf clubs, recycled what we could and merged the rest into our garage.
My personal challenge was the fake Christmas tree. It looked good for many years and we enjoyed it. Now it’s getting raggedy and I’d been playing around with the idea of replacing it with a table-top model. I’d still have the wreath to hang on the fireplace, and the seasonal tablecloths and candle holders. I told Bill about it, and we realized that day was recycling day. So we broke it down and stuck it in the bin with giving ourselves any more time to think about it. If in a couple years we start feeling deprived, we’ll buy a new one.
But that’s just me. My friend down the street has twenty boxes of Christmas decorations in her garage. It would kill her to get rid of one bulb.
I have a cousin who dreams of renting a quiet two-bedroom apartment in a community with a pool, clubhouse, ready-made friends and no yard. Some of us are tired of home maintenance. Much easier to call the landlord with your problems. Some Boomers sold their homes and went to live fulltime in RVs or even on boats. I Googled “tiny houses” and you wouldn’t believe how many websites came up.
I’ve often thought it would be cool to live in a city apartment where I could take the elevator downstairs and walk everywhere; to get coffee, groceries, whatever.
And if it were just me, I wouldn’t mind living in this. I’d want patios and porches all around, a few trees, and a community to keep me from turning into a hermit.
Tumbleweed Z-Glass House
What about you? Are you downsizing and if so, how and why?
It seems I’ve spent about 15 years downsizing–first our office moved (20,000 square feet), then my parents died (1,000 miles away–and I inherited all their stuff), then my husband and I moved to other states twice for various jobs, then his latest office moved (requiring a 50% downsizing, done by me) and …. whew.
Two words of advice: Peter Walsh. His advice helped me a ton, and he has lots of videos on YouTube. Basically, his procedure is:
1) Don’t “organize” by imagining how you can cram more stuff in the space you have.
2) Instead, imagine the things you want to do in the space, plus everything you treasure, and make the useful and respectful deployment of ONLY those things your main priorities.
3) Get rid of everything else by selling, trashing or donating it.
Totally works, and believe me, I would know.
My favorite addendums would be:
1) Just say “no” to rented storage space for more than a temporary stopgap. Deal with the stuff, one way or another.
2) Imagine your kids cleaning out your closets someday.
Paula, what a lot of practice you’ve had. I’ll check out Peter Walsh on YouTube. And re your second #2? That drives me. I had to clean out my dad’s files when he died. Moved in with my Mom for a few days each week. Brought my small printer/fax/copier and a mobile wireless for my laptop, and got to work. Holy crap. Or just crap. In a way it was cathartic, because by going thru all the stuff with Mom, we were able to grieve together. However, as you say, I will never do that to my kids. Thanks for your wise words.
Lynne, it truly seems to me that many of us boomers are living at the end of a long tail of a certain kind of acquisitional, stuff-heavy life that’s very unlikely to continue with the upcoming generations.
Everyone’s prospects for settled prosperity seem dimmer after this five-year recession, for one thing. That makes it much tougher (and much more expensive) to store mass quantities of memorabilia, just-in-case supplies, and the detritus of old hobbies and careers. That’s all too easy in a 2,000 square foot home of 30 years, but very tough in an 800-square-foot apartment that you could leave at any time. That’s why we’re stuck cleaning out so many spaces at work, home, our parents’ home all at once.
My shorthand for this, as everyone in my life has heard me say (too) many times, is: “Too much office at the end of the money.”
Hi Lynne,
We’ve lived in our family home for 30 years, from young twenty somethings, through babies and teen-aged drivers, to weddings and the empty nest. Our kids live out of state so there’s really nothing keeping us here except for my husband’s job which is kind of a big thing. 🙂
We started working our way through our renovation about 5 years ago and are almost finished. We’ve filled two dumpsters with construction materials, yes, but an amazing amount of “who knows what” from the garage rafters, attic and basement. I’ve taken car loads to Good Will and usually tugs my heart strings to see things go. Last night my husband reminded me that we have to get this done so that we can move on while our remodel is fresh and current. Now that it’s become reality rather than a dream, I’m finding it hard to let go.
We’re still exploring thoughts and dreams about our next step. We, too, looked into becoming downtown urban dwellers, or suburban condo owners. Seems like we’ve settled on the idea of having a simple little house with big windows, a tiny bit of acreage with a patch of trees, a patch of pasture and a patch of yard. A retreat.
–Karen
“A retreat.” What a great image that brings to mind. It must be hard to think about leaving a home you’ve upgraded so diligently. Best wishes.
Oh Lynne,
I have to start the process, but I am dragging my heels and can’t get started with the sorting out. I am waiting for my super organized sister to retire next year, then I’ll fly her over for a free holiday if she will help me get rid of my Patty Piles.
Good luck, Pat! What a luxury for your sis!
We have a good-sized house bought 20+ years ago as a brand-new handyman special. We’ve done a lot of work on it and now it needs to be done all over again, even before we’ve been able to finish some of the original stuff. I’ve never been a shopper, but I hate my shabby sofa and tattered linens. I still have the dinnerware and stainless from college graduation 40 years ago. Use them every day. However, $$$ is now going toward repairs that were neglected during the Recession. The yard needs work and our knees suck. We’ll never retire. But I would like to have a live-in studly to help maintain things. And someone to excavate while I point.
Life is complicated, isn’t it? Good luck with the studly. Hopefully you live in a college town!
Lynne, what a great and timely post. And I definitely sit on the fence with this one. I’m a wannabe downsizer, yeah one of those but I still have my size 10s in the closet (like they’ll ever fit again) I can’t throw away my Christmas wreath I just replaced after 30 years and that table top tree, yeah I replace my full size one several years ago, guess what now they both get put up. If I didn’t have a basement I’d be sunk.
One of these days I’ll get rid of my midi-skirt and those cullotes too while I’m at it.
deb
Oh, I just gave my black suede midi-skirt to the Goodwill. It was beautiful but I never wore it. It hurts, but in a good way.
Love the tiny house – great architecture – great idea!
This is part of our conversation too. Susan. We are moving to be closer to the kids and grands and definitely want to have enough space for the grands for sleepovers and just hanging out. These are all good comments and help with the thought process.
So thought provoking. Five years ago when Favorite Spouse retired we downsized, moving back to the town we had lived in 15 years earlier. Kids and grands are here. But downsizing the house was a big mistake. NOW we have time for dinner parties, holiday brunches, sleepovers with the grands, family pizza/game nights, out-of-town guests and on and on. Much more time to play now that we’re retired–we needed more room not less! Or we needed the right room.
So three years ago, we upsized. Still fairly small–1800 sq ft–but designed for play. And we have much less stuff–one set of dishes and glassware for example, not three(!), half the Christmas decorations, one box (TOTAL) for other seasons. I don’t want the stuff, just the room. If it doesn’t fit gracefully, it’s history.
And bonus for us in this churn, we finally got the modern/contemporary style house we’ve wanted for 46 years.
What a great story, Susan. I read your comment to my hubby, and he said, “Wow, sounds like they really have it together. They are smart.” Sounds like you have the perfect deal going. I can’t wait til my babies are old enough for sleepovers.
Thanks for the reply, Lynne. Tell your hubby we’re probably way more lucky than smart. BTW, heading to a family gathering tomorrow with 25 family members–my two sisters, spouses, and progeny. In two houses, five bedrooms, and four bathrooms. It’s the four bathrooms that have me the most worried.
I started downsizing a while back, but lately I just think about it. I really need to. I’m so sick of stuff, but I just have to figure out what I’m sickest of and start moving it out. Someday.
Lee
Wrote By Rote
An A to Z Co-host blog
Hi Lee, if I’m feeling unmotivated I try to think of the happy outcome, the goal, the result that I want to enjoy. Then the “getting there” doesn’t seem so – sickening. Like I don’t want to put on a certain workshop that I promised, in a wine-infused moment, to do. So instead of thinking of the actual workshop, I think about the fact that my friend will look good and be happy, and I will make new friends and contacts, and heck, I might even sell some books. So look past the work and think about the goal (yay, I can see the garage floor again!) Good luck.
Lynn,
You are right on target. A few months ago my wife and I sold our house and everything in it. We’re in a condo now. I can’t tell you what a weight was lifted from our lives the day we sold that house. An estate auction firm cleared the place and turned 39 years of accumulation into money. Simpler is better, but I must now fight those reflexive urges to buy stuff. It’s much easier than it used to be. There’s no longer that infinite storage space in which to pile stuff — otherwise known as a basement.
Hi Rick, good for you two. Sometimes I go looking for something that I forgot I discarded/gave away/donated, but most of the time I’m glad I did it. Now we’ll see how Christmas feels with a little tiny tree! BTW here’s the inimitable George Carlin on STUFF: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac
Lynne, your post sure generated a lot of interest–and I’m not surprised. Seems like most baby boomers are at least considering downsizing. I’d love to move someplace smaller but my husband doesn’t want the hassle of moving anywhere, regardless of the home’s size. I must admit that with our collection of books and my quilting hobby, we take up a lot of room. And it’s nice to have extra space when out-of-state friends and relatives visit, but I do not enjoy maintaining it. I imagine we’ll be forced into a change sooner or later as we age. Walking up and down stairs isn’t going to be an option forever!
Sandra, this is a theme I see repeating: the woman is looking ahead, ready to make changes, but her sweetie-pie is digging in, clinging to The Way We Were. Best wishes and enjoy it while you can!
Yep – we sold a 4000 sq foot home, moved into a 400 sq foot rv a year ago, have travelled in it, visited long term (a couple months) where a new granddaughter celebrated a 1st birthday, a new grandson was born, stored the rv for a month and traveled to europe to visit a son and DIL there, and have loved every minute of it. it’s an adjustment in many ways, but we were so tired of working to keep up the house, the yard, maintain the mounds and mounds of stuff, visiting kids out of state for a few days, and paying someone to clean our home. Downsizing to the extreme, I suppose, but the biggest delight has been the people we’ve met “on the road.” Like minded. Interesting stories. Sometimes we listen for the other shoe to drop – but for now – we’re glad to have made the decision and seeing this beautiful country while we are able.
WOW. From 4000 to 400 square feet! What an amazing shift. I am so jealous, Barbara. What a story.
Hello. My husband recently left me ( I am 59) and I have inherited the family home of four bedrooms, a study, two living areas, large balcony. Much too large for just me. I am thinking of down-sizing when the business sells and move away from the area to be closer to 2 of my children and grand-children. I feel I need three bedrooms though as I have two other children who live interstate and lots of extended family who will visit regularly. So I feel I will do it in stages; firstly down to a 3 bedroom one living room house for the next ten to fifteen years and then a two bedroom unit when I am ‘old’.
Hi Elizabeth, I’m sorry about your marital situation but it sounds as if you will have the good fortune of downsizing gradually, with time and thoughtfulness on your side. I’ve downsized incrementally – that’s a reasonable way to do it. Best wishes.
Great Post! Elizabeth- just a word of encouragement. I went through the same thing 3 years ago. I went through a wretched divorce after 25 years of marriage. I was “left” the huge family home (along with the huge family mortgage) and with my sons in college, the house was cold and lonely. So, last year, I sold the house and found a much smaller cottage type home. The yard is small but charming. Getting there was hard- going through a life time of photos; boxes of macaroni Mother’s Day gifts from sons; even the yellowing wedding dress- I cried a lot. It was so worth it! I faced it and moved on, both literally and figuratively.
Hang it there. It does get better!
Sara, thanks for writing. How heart-wrenching! Esp. the macaroni productions. But I hope the cottage is a good place for you now. It sounds like you have managed to pull yourself up by your boot straps and do what had to be done for your future well-being. Best wishes.
Moving tends to encourage (or require) a fair amount of downsizing. The Engineer and I moved from the west coast to the east coast (where he had an interim position) and back in the last three years.
In the two pack/unpack cycles, we managed to get rid of lots of stuff.
One way was by donating items to Goodwill (and getting a tax write-off). Another, already mentioned, was scanning all sorts of documents.
We’re both bibliophiles, and we’ve cut down the number of books by getting some on Kindle and donating hard copies. A dose of reality helps. I admit that at this stage of my life, I’m probably never going to re-read that trilogy about Winston Churchill, so why not donate it.
One other thing I’m thinking about is to sell some items on Ebay. I can’t believe how valuable some dishes I bought in London decades ago is worth these days.
Good for you, Madeleine, in mining your items for cash. That just makes so much sense. And so does going digital. Everything is preserved in the cloud. After seeing the OK tornado, I’m glad my files are all backed up every 24 hours by Mozy.
Great post! I hate having too many things and make it a habit to purge every so often. Yep, if it was just me, I’d love one of those tiny houses too.
Valerie, my husband says if he were alone he’d have a fifth wheel and travel between the families of our 3 grown kids, who live in LA, Atlanta, and Bend, Oregon. But lucky for him, he’s stuck with me and a house 😉
Yes, lucky him!
I dream of being in the country, and try to get into nature on vacations when I can, but but I’ve lived in the urban core for most of my adult life. For the last 22 years, for family and economic reasons, I’ve raised a son and a daughter in a 900 square ft house in a very crowded neighborhood- (yes, one bathroom for two teenagers and two adults) so I’ve never had the luxury of collecting a lot of stuff. My husband and I talk about what we will do after retirement in four years- hoping for a mix of RVing and finding a home somewhere at the edge of a small town. My ideal would be a small house, a small guesthouse for family visits, and a landscape that is mostly wild so all I have to do is roam through the trees and listen to the wind, instead of sirens and boomboxes and noisy neighbors!
Sarah, you deserve to upsize after what you’re describing. Esp. the noise. I am so hungry for silence. I’m thinking of spending some $$ to go to a hotel for 4 nights, 5 days, just to be alone, not have to talk to anyone, be on my own schedule. But I feel guilty. Now I’m back to thinking I’ll do it. Thanks for the shot in the arm.
Although I have begun what I dub, “The great photo purge” (only child was most photographed child in the universe), I remain flummoxed as to how to downsize from our life in a 1500 square foot house on an acre.
I have my stuff, mom’s stuff, and husband still works and has a shop full of tools. Next week we begin a three and a half week sailing trip. I am praying the trip inspires both of us to find a way to live with less.
I always feel clearer about life while on vacation. Suddenly all the stupid stuff (clutter, commitments, etc.) seems more apparent. Best wishes in finding your inspiration.
Me too! Why is that?
Because you left your “To Do” list on the kitchen counter!
At first reading (here I go again) I thought you said you wanted a community to turn you into a hermit. Freudian slip. Living in the wilds of NH my community has turned me into a hermit. I am free to venture out for lunches with one or two others and then return to my lair. I must add my lair does include a mate, but I know of one geezer who is doing well as one after having lost his mate. Not sure I would fare so well. Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest in my mall?
Bob, I’ve always thought it would be the greatest freedom to be okay with being alone. I like it for short periods, but then I need more interaction. I envy your geezer friend for his independence. My shrink used to say the word “alone” can be seen in a good way, as “all one.”
We have moved several times in the past few years and now we are back home building a new house. I had to downsize quite abit for the moves but I find myself now wanting to keep what I have and regret the loss of so much. Building a normal house with lots of closet space though to be organized.
Terri, I confess my house is 3 br, 2 bath and 2K square feet, but I could go smaller. We use the rooms like crazy. Esp. the main part of the house which is open space and bare floor. All my furniture has those silicone sliders on the feet, so I can push it around easily. I can have big or little dinners, or even book signings. But it’s efficient and functional, and we built it using inexpensive materials. I got a lot of my decorations from Ross when they used to have a better selection. PS we’re training our adult kids to do the family dinners. If we moved to a 2 bdrm apt., they’d be ready!
We had to sell our big ole ranch house four years ago, and the trauma of that whole thing pretty much cured me of the “accumulation” disease. Shopping is an addiction that I still struggle with, but I am so much better. If I really, really want/need it, I get it. Otherwise I just think back on the storing and packingittomoveagain process and the desire slowly fades. We are renters now, and I am not sure about being a homeowner again. There is alot to be said about not having the worry about maintenance and upkeep. As long as I have the feeling of space around me or even just a view I won’t feel trapped or punished. Our current location is what I call urban/suburban. I can walk to work, coffee, bank, post office, vet. I still drive for groceries. My daughter will walk a couple of blocks to college next fall. It’s not ideal, but for now it’s working.
Debra, it sounds pretty nice. I would love the walking aspect, and renting frees you up in a sense. There’s risk with renting, but also with buying. Pre-recession, we bought a modest home on a golf course, which sounds nice but the course owners are letting things die and cutting back on maintenance. If it totally goes to tumbleweeds, and I were renting, I could move. Ditto if the county puts in the four-lane highway they’ve been talking about.
These are the conversations hubby and I are having a lot these days as we prepare to retire and move back to Canada at the end of the year. We live in a 2500 sq foot four bedroom home that is way too big for two people. Do we want another (smaller) house with a garden? Some land where we can have a few chickens? A town home that is maintenance free? The discussions continue.
It’s cool, though, that we can at this age, Linda. You can live anywhere, in whatever size/type home you choose.
I love that my yard is only 15 feet wide at its widest point. I think I could live in an apartment with a balcony at this point. All my plants are drip fed. LOW maintenance. My last houseplant died a couple months ago. Now everything is fake or dried. Leaves me more time to write, but if I need to do yardwork there’s always stuff to trim, or driplines to reconfigure or repair.
We are slowly but extremely downsizing. We hope to be full-timing in the RV in October. We’ve gone from a 4 bedroom house in Minneapolis to a smaller house in Florida to a 2 bedroom apartment in Colorado. We rented our Minneapolis house for a year but it is now on the market, the RV has been purchased. The Christmas tree went to our son’s house last Christmas.
My current big project is photos/albums/videos. I’m scanning, sorting and getting ready to pass on most of them to the kids for safekeeping.
The one thing that I’m looking forward to is moving without packing and unpacking.
Barbara, how exciting! In my book, Dakota Blues, I delve into RVing, because I’ve always had a hunger for it. Good thing now you can store all your important papers and photos digitally. Hope you’ll drop by from time to time and let us know how it’s going. You might even want to do a guest post sometime.
I thought about this the other day as I was listening to the news about the Oklahoma tornado. Many people lost everything. Everything. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing everything. But I contemplated the notion of getting by with so much less. It’s appealing for sure. Now that my mom lives with me, given her love of thrift shops, things keep appearing in the house. There will be time for a purging later on.
See, that’s the thing I don’t understand about shopping, Dog, particularly shopping at thrift shops and yard sales. It’s like you’re deliberately looking to accumulate stuff / junk as an activity. Like when a resort’s website touts “shopping!” as a thing you can come and DO. Really, I don’t get that.
But as for the OK tornado victims, how horrible to lose your photo albums and family heirlooms. Not to mention everything else. Poor things.
Yes, some of the stuff is junk at thrift shops – a lot of it just gathers dust on shelves. But I have to say that I’ve saved money on clothing and some household items. My mom likes the little pretty things. They can tend to accumulate fast.
If you’re buying something you’ll really use, and saving money, that’s something I’d do. My mom and 2 sisters go yard-saling for fun all the time. They never spend much but they enjoy it.
We’ve just started to talk about this. My husband has a land baron mentality, while I’m ready to hit the open road in an RV. We have a lot to discuss.
Well said! Somebody I know had that mentality, but then lost everything in the crash of ’08 and now, although sadder, also feels lighter on her feet.
I know the feeling and I’ve done it. It was painful…excruciating really, at the moment, but after it’s all gone, it doesn’t hurt at all! And yes, I live in a small city apartment where I can walk everywhere. No elevator however! The hardest thing is to try not to begin accumulating again. The habit of wanting to own stuff is hard to break. So every 2 or 3 months, I go through the house, which now only takes any hour, and get rid of at least a garbage bag of something. And nothing can come in without something going out. It’s altogether a new kind of freedom!
Delana, it sounds wonderful. I’ve started using your strategy of add one: delete one when I buy a new item of clothing. My next goal is to weed through my 9 (!) old black shirts and cut it back to 2. Thanks for the inspiration.