For almost half a century now, I’ve had the hardest time trying to write with a pen, and now I know why. Brace yourself. All pens are actually made for men! Yeah, I know! Wow, right?
But fortunately, that situation is changing. Thank God for progress. I’ll let’s let Ellen tell it:
But maybe you’re not really sure what to do. In that case, reviews are unbeatable in helping you make a decision. There are a slew of them on Amazon. Here’s an example:
Someone has answered my gentle prayers and FINALLY designed a pen that I can use all month long! I use it when I’m swimming, riding a horse, walking on the beach and doing yoga. It’s comfortable, leak-proof, non-slip and it makes me feel so feminine and pretty! Since I’ve begun using these pens, men have found me more attractive and approchable. It has given me soft skin and manageable hair and it has really given me the self-esteem I needed to start a book club and flirt with the bag-boy at my local market. My drawings of kittens and ponies have improved, and now that I’m writing my last name hyphenated with the Robert Pattinson’s last name, I really believe he may some day marry me! I’m positively giddy. Those smart men in marketing have come up with a pen that my lady parts can really identify with.
You can read more reviews here.
I came back because Google translate sometimes is not too accurate – so here I translated the above first French comment:
“My husband recently gave me a box, but I have no idea about what I can do with it! They are too thin to use as a pastry rolling pin. I cannot use it to serve soup. And the small tip barely makes a notch when I try to cut vegetables! I do not understand. If I cannot use it in the kitchen, what am I supposed to do with?”
I think this is an international put down – Non, non Bic!
Hilarious! Thanks, Vagabonde.
I feel both good and bad about this – good about Ellen’s monologue – very witty – loved it. But bad because Bic is a corporation from my native country – it is French! La Société Bic was founded in 1945 by Baron March Bich and is based in Clichy, France. Clichy is actually like a suburb of Paris since it is 4 miles from the capital. I would have hoped that a French product would not be so sexist – well French woman also wrote reviews – I’ll copy a couple, you can use Google translate:
“ Mon mari m’en a récemment offert une boîte, mais je n’ai aucune idée de ce que je peux faire avec ! Ils sont trop fins pour servir de rouleau à pâtisserie. Je ne peux pas servir la soupe avec. Et la petite pointe fait à peine une entaille quand j’essaie de couper des légumes ! Je ne comprends pas. Si je ne peux pas l’utiliser dans la cuisine, qu’est-ce que je vais bien faire avec ??? “. this one is saying that she does not understand how to use it to cook (since that is the only thing women are supposed to do …)
“C’est quoi l’étape suivante, des femmes qui vont à l’université ? Des stylos pour encourager la lecture dans les classes inférieures ? Le monde moderne est vraiment dingue.” She is saying, what is coming next ? women able to go to university, modern world is getting nuts, etc.
Humour is best, non?
Mais oui, Vagabonde! And it makes me happy to hear from my sisters-under-the-skin, who are joking about this in another language. I wonder what Bic is thinking about this? “Any publicity is good publicity”?
Does it matter that I am a left handed man? I am still looking for empathy. In spite of all odds, can I as a left handed man get pen empathy?
Bob, I give you LHM Pen Empathy!
I can finally get a good night’s sleep. FINALLY. I always wondered why writing was so hard to figure out. I had a double whammy, not only using a man pen but also being left-handed. I think I should buy stock in Bic. (NOT) Here’s their new ad campaign: “Think Bic, Bic for Idiots, The Pen for Superior Men. Only” UGH. When I saw this on Ellen I thought for sure it was one of her pranks. What a shame.
Your comment made me laugh. Thanks. And happy sleeping!
Love it. Love Ellen. But seriously, even after all the great gains we have made in terms of women’s rights, we are still dumbing down the female gender when it comes to marketing in America. Shame on Bic.
A huge FAIL for Bic. God Almighty. This enrages me. I can barely find it funny, though I love Ellen’s take on this. I want to know what idiots in Bic’s marketing department thought up this brainless idea. And if they turn out to be women, I want to slap them.
This was a very funny topic. Great!
I’m so glad you took this and ran with it. LOVE the absurdity and the sarcasm of the comments on Amazon!
You started it, Sandy! Thanks for the laughs!!
My face bunched up like a raisin I was so confused when I read this. Bic could have saved tons of money because I stopped writing with anything stick-like when I discovered a KEYboard. I do wish it was pink though. This way I write 50% more (and faster) because I use TWO hands.
Ha ha ha.
Tess, I remember reading that when typewriters came out only men were considered smart enough to use them.
Or was it sewing machines?
Or maybe the washing machine. Ha ha.
Thank you so much, Lynne, for the laughs!
Now…speaking of pens…one of our science teachers many years ago told me that ball-point pens were designed for right handed people. They work best when being “pulled” across the paper rather than being “pushed”…which is what left handed people do.
When gel pens came out, it changed the way I felt about using a pen. My favorite “left handed” pen is the Pentel EnerGel.
I love gel pens. And fountain pens. But I never knew about the left-handed thing. Makes sense. I think my 2-yr-old grandson is going to be a lefty, so I’ll keep that in mind. Of course, by that time we’ll probably THINK words onto paper, using the microchip embedded in a finger.
This is so adorable. Ellen really knows how to make a subject like this even funnier. I love good pens, and find it hard to get one that I love. Now I’ll have to go get myself some pink/purple pens that are twice as much…..
Cathy, I love Ellen. She is so funny. If you haven’t seen her hilarious fake audition as a reader of 50 Shades of Grey, here it is: http://youtu.be/on3JCwnwHbU
My wife buys cute pens.
And you secretly use them when she is away from the house, right?
What?!! Are those 100s of reviews for real? Or, am I just naive…or, are they written by the same person with a different tag. Either way, it’s hilarious. Thanks for sharing.
Martha, I think they’re having a field day. Enjoy!
This is so unbelievable, that I can’t stop shaking my head while I’m laughing. Marketers will stop at nothing.
What cracks me up is that the Amazon reviews have been taken over by delightful snark!
But can you imagine how many people are taking it seriously and buying these pens?