From age 50 on up, people report being happier. The question is why. I think they’ve found the answer.
I’m talking about the Happiness U-Curve, in which research has proven conclusively that most people are happy in young adulthood, become less happy in their forties, and perk up again in their fifties, beginning an upward trajectory that continues throughout the rest of their lives. This phenomenon is global, and persists even when you eliminate such factors as health, economic security, and love. Of course it’s not true of all of us.
But it’s big, people. Big. Enough that most of you will experience it.
Here are two of the most likely reasons we get happier in older age:
- Having a short time-horizon centers you. When you’re young, you have all this time to make mistakes and screw around, not sure what’s meaningful and what isn’t. It’s almost like the horizon is too vast, and you have no answers. But when your horizon is nearer, it’s less stressful, oddly enough. You are newly motivated to treasure every day. Life becomes richer, more meaningful.
- Your amygdala (the “fight or flight” part of your brain) become less reactive to bad news. According to MRIs, while young people’s amygdala react to everything, we mostly light up at happy stuff.
For me, there’s another reason: when I was younger, so many people were dependent on me, little kids and such. I couldn’t get sick and/or die…what would happen to them? But now everybody is grown and independent. If something happened to me, they’d be bummed, but they’d be okay. This is a load off.
What about you–why do you think people get happier as they get older?
So glad to hear this. I can’t wait to retire at the end of June to get at least that teaching load off my back. I am sure I will be healthier too without all the stress. Love your new headshot, Lynne! You look fab!
I can’t wait to read your post-retirement blogs! This transition fascinates me, Pat. And yes, you will have more time (if you’re careful not to get too involved in new commitments) for self-care. Some of us say we’re so busy now, we don’t know when we ever found the time for a fulltime job. Looking forward to your updates.
I’m braver and more confident. Really a great time of life.
Toni! So good to hear from you.
I think we’re happier because there is less stress. When we are young adults we don’t expect as much of ourselves and we are more flexible. As we age, we acquire a spouse, children, home(s), property, all kinds of gadgets, etc., etc., etc. for some of us it becomes who we are. It also becomes stressful to maintain it all. At some point in our 50s we begin to relax and reevaluate even if subconsciously. The pressure begins to subside. Retirement comes and more stress subsides. It is a nice time in our lives. We are learning that we don’t need as much as we thought we did.
I wrote a post once on what old age is like. It will be interesting to reread it for each passing decade if I’m blessed. http://oldageisnotforsissiesblog.com/what-is-old-age-like/
Thanks for the article. It gave me food for thought.
Cindy, I loved your post, and I agree with you. Although I still stress MYSELF out by accepting too many commitments etc., it’s nothing compared to what the working parents of young children (for example) have to deal with. I have come to understand how our perspective changes as we age and are shaped by our experiences. I used to think I would rather be dead than live with certain infirmities or limitations, but now I know – I KNOW – that to be alive and functioning is the greatest gift. I used to think gray hair and wrinkles were a bad thing, but they are now a privilege. They are proof of the gift of longevity.
Always willing to re-visit a word I’ve lost (amygdala)! Yes, fight or flight doesn’t work anymore—I’m taking more time to do everything these days, including being scared! But I am happier, that’s clear to me. BTW, love the new picture!
Thanks Diane, me too! I made such a big deal out of going gray that I had to update my old blond-ish photo.
I have learned as I get older that no matter how hard life can be, there is always something better on the horizon. You just have to be patient. The light at the end of the tunnel is not just a saying. In my life it has been the truth.
Hi Anonymous. I know you have told me before who you are but I can’t remember. For some reason your comments keep showing up as anonymous and needing approval. I always approve, crossing my fingers that it’s you, and not a stranger trying to do me wrong. In the future, can you try to comment using an actual identity so we know who you are? There’s probably a choice offered at the bottom of the comment box. Thanks.
Lynne. This is Judy that left the above reply. I don’t know why I am now called anonymous. Wasn’t before. I am going to put it in again. Hope you are fine, lovely lady!
JUDY!! I’m so glad I didn’t hit that little trashcan icon. I hope you can figure this out. Thanks for letting me know.
Kinda funny. I redid my email in the little box so will see. Hope you are fine. You are a busy lady! So proud to know you.
Ditto, Sis.
Hi Lynne! Thanks for this reminder–and I don’t think any of us can hear it enough. Right now I’m at a conference called “Aging Better Together” about cohousing and how important community and staying active is as we age. And yeah, of course I’ll be writing about it too. Let’s keep sharing the good news and walk happily into the coming years. ~Kathy
Part of aging well, I truly believe, is continuing to learn. Which you demonstrate, Kathy. I’ll be curious to know what you take away from the conference. I live in a 55+ community and there are many who feel that’s a bad decision, that it means we are shrinking away from the rest of the world. But (1) nothing could be further from the truth, if you saw the amount of volunteerism here, and (2) it’s a form of cohousing that offsets isolation and loneliness. We should talk about this when you get back.
For me, it’s this simple: “MORE freedom…LESS responsibility.”
Oh, yeah, that does it for me, too, Sue.
I love seeing this and reading about it. I started my own quest for the advantages that age brings and write about them regularly. Yours may not be the same as mine, but they’re there for you if you look and are open to them.
Thanks, Jane. I went to your blog and found your very enjoyable post about the reasons you value aging. For readers, it’s here: https://blog.earthandmoondesign.com/life-gets-better-benefits-aging
Thank you Lynne. I love hearing others’ take on it.
Very interesting about the amygdala. My group of friends have talked about being less reactive and have found it to be somewhat of a mystery. Perhaps it is a protective thing that happens because as we age we start losing people in our lives.
It might be that. Another thought is because, having lived through so many threats and negative situations by the time we are older, we know what’s going to kill us and what likely isn’t. Whereas kids don’t, so they have to react to pretty much everything. It’s a survival mechanism, maybe.