I often hear it said that living in a neighborhood that’s restricted to ages 55+ is bad.
Bad as in:
- closed-minded
- short-sighted
- ageist
- fearful
- narrow-minded
I suppose it can be, if you close yourself off and never mingle with other age groups. But as a private, introverted person this is exactly the kind of community I want to grow old in.
The other day, my mother, who also lives here, told a sick friend: “Unlock your door. I’m coming over.” And then Mom got her cane and walked down the street to sit with the friend, who was afraid to be alone but didn’t want to bother anybody. Mom and a couple of other women took turns staying with her. The next day, the friend felt better, her children returned from a vacation and checked on her, and things resolved themselves.
Community. It derives from the French, meaning “things held in common.” What we hold in common here is a short-timer’s heightened appreciation for health and life, and a retiree’s luxury of time which we can use to support and nurture other humans. Most of us engage in the life of the city and surrounds. We volunteer, attend, eat, buy, watch, applaud, raise money, show support, and shower love. I’m particularly proud of our partnership with the Marine families of 29 Palms, California, and the military veterans at March Air Reserve Base in Moreno Valley, California.
As we age, some of us have chosen to live closer together. Communal forms of housing are a big deal these days, and it’s not just for older people, but that’s who reinvented it. The pig-in-the-python swell of aging boomers is changing the culture once again.
People need each other. If I get tired of working or hiding out, I can easily get social. All I have to do is attend a meeting or go read a book on the patio at the clubhouse. Soon enough, my spirits will be lifted by a friendly wave, or warm conversation. If I go for a walk or a bike ride, or work out at the gym, I see people all around who are my age or older and enjoying the opportunity to maintain their health. They inspire me.
Not that this couldn’t happen in a more heterogeneous community, but I’ve never been happier anywhere else. If you’re so inclined, I recommend checking out the benefits of a 55+ community. Just remember to stay engaged outside the gates.
A few years back my aging mother was in a condo complex where she was one of the a handful of retirees. During the winter months she became very depressed due to the social isolation. Fortunately a new community apartment complex opened for 55+ and she took a spacious one bedroom unit. My husband and I have nicknamed it “The Happy Place” because it is decorated like a modest hotel, has excellent common areas such as a library, crafts/game room, library/billiards area, and much more. The atmosphere provides my introvert mother with exactly what she needed. Thanks for the excellent post.
This is exactly what I’m talking about. It is such a beautiful solution. I am really happy to live in our very active 55 plus community, and I am blessed to have Mom 4 blocks away. I don’t think she has ever been happier!
Community says it all (and I never realized it was a French word.) You make yours sound so inviting, I wish I lived right next door. As much as technology drives me crazy, it has given us a remarkable way connect to in our community of writers. Still hoping to share a real glass of wine side by side one day, though.
Amen to that!!
I’m sure my husband and I will eventually move into an over-55 community. Right now, however, our neighborhood consists of people who are mostly in that age group. We know quite a few other residents and see some of them socially. However, I can definitely see the advantages of the smaller, more cohesive group you describe. As the physical demands of owning a too-large house increase, we’ll start searching for alternatives.
As with Judy, you are lucky to have enough of your own age group close bye, and also younger people to make it interesting! When I first contemplated moving into this community, it was a little frightening. I almost felt as if I were moving into a nursing home but it has turned out to be very rewarding.
A 55+ community can definitely make it easier to achieve this.
And even if we don’t move to one: don’t neglect your friends.
Make new ones–especially as we grow older.
See them regularly.
Isolation can be just as deadly as untreated stress or physical inactivity.
Centenarians who have their minds intact and don’t shovel around with a walker, do exactly that: they have a healthy social life–they care, interact daily and give and receive friendship and camaraderie.
I agree with everything you say, Daniel, but I don’t understand the shovel around with a walker part.
People who need people are the luckiest people in the world. I think those were the words to that famous song ‘People”.
Our small community is gated and only 100 homes. Close to everything and even though it is not restricted to 55 and older, there are only a handful of families with children here. And those kids are so respectful and enjoyable to have as neighbors. We are fixing up our home to be more ‘user’ friendly for when we get older because we like it here. We are friendly with many of our neighbors and know we could turn to them if we needed help. That is a good feeling.
That’s the ultimate, I think, the situation you describe. I’m glad for you. And I LOVE that song, and Bab’s rendition of it.
Bob and I are thinking more and more about exploring such a community. We live in a condo complex with many people our own age surrounding us. It’s a fairly large building, and we have little to do with most residents. The type of community you suggest seems to be more intimate and friendly, and of course, that has a lot to do with size. The really good news is that there appear to be many more options open to us today. Encouraging!
When I was single and 30, I moved to an apartment complex thinking it would provide the social I needed. I lived there a year and became even more lonely and profoundly depressed. Whenever I’d go sit by the pool and read, I was usually alone for hours, and I rarely saw any other residents except to wave as we passed each other in the parking lot. I think one of the main elements for encouraging that all-important social-ability is a central pool/clubhouse, where people would logically gravitate.
I agree that as you age, it is easy to become isolated. I agree it is important to stay connected to a community and usually an over 55 community provides a group of kindred spirits who understand the value of friendship and companionship.
Yes, living with your tribe is comforting, and there shouldn’t be any concern about insularity as long as we get out and interact with others. When Bill and I first retired, we lived in a neighborhood where half the people went to work and another 1/3 were seasonal (snowbirds). The neighborhood was a ghost town. Very lonely. Heterogeneity in residential age groups isn’t always the most important thing.