“Staying involved and passionate and curious helps one remain youthful for sure…but spiritually and energetically, I feel younger than when I was 20 and 30.”
What is “youthful” about involvement, passion, and curiosity? Those are the attributes of a good life at any age. Let’s rewrite Jane’s statement.
“As I’ve aged, I’ve become ever more involved and passionate and curious…at almost 80, I feel more spiritual and energetic than ever before.”
Dear Reader, how do you feel now? Invigorating, isn’t it?
When we classify ageless qualities like passion and curiosity as “youthful,” we hurt ourselves. Among other things, negative beliefs about aging can shorten your life by 7.5 years.
You have the power to change your reality. Here are two things you can do: one, appreciate the physical awesomeness of youth but don’t mythologize it. Envy it, fine. But don’t judge yourself by it.
Second–(jeez, we just had a 4.8 earthquake and I forgot what I was saying! Whew. Calm down, heart.) Second, be aware that positive human attributes aren’t often age-related. Here are the qualities I admire in my friends and family. Guess what ages they are? Three to ninety-two.
- vibrant, vital, vigorous
- mentally healthy
- happy, strong, colorful
- energetic, vivacious
- dynamic, bold
- fiery, exciting, spirited
- insightful, wise, confident
You can be any of the above at any age. Learn to strip away the age-relatedness from the descriptor. You’ll feel empowered, and maybe live longer, too!
There’s good news in this article as well:
This is When Middle-Age Actually Ends
When you read it, be mindful of the derogatory way they use the word “old.” They mean well, but awareness is slow in coming. As with Fonda, it’s a habit. We need to be aware of what we do in order to change it. And here’s another reason to try:
Karma bites back: Hating on the elderly may put you at risk of Alzheimer’s
Happy New You!
A great post on the current “ism” of our time…without actually using the word! Our thoughts and our words are more powerful than we know…and the habit of using disempowering language is SO SUBTLE.
And in spite of our best intentions! I will know my work is done when we can call ourselves “old” and people don’t rush in to correct or reassure us.
If you think you’re old, then you are. Keep busy, eat right and try to get enough sleep. Somewhere in the above is a good lesson for all. Oh, and don’t drink much booze. And try to keep your mental thoughts good. My prayer almost every day is ‘Lord, take the bitterness out of my mind and replace it with love’.
As always, my dear friend, your writing is over the top. So good.
Thanks Judy for your wisdom and your kindness, always. But – and I say this with love – you’re making my point that even people with the best intentions use the word “old” as a negative. It’s just a habit, that’s all. So, my campaign to change that is that maybe in your first sentence, we could replace the word “old” with truly negative words: useless, stupid, pointless, invisible…
Let’s not consider ‘old’ as a negative ever. It is a word thrown out carelessly. So is young or middle aged. You are right! It is habit. Perhaps other languages have a more uplifting word or words to describe ‘the increased years that we have been present on this earth’. I wonder.
Thanks for being open-minded about my comment, Judy. PS about words shaping our expectations, did you know there is no word for menopause in Japanese? The closest you can come is konenki, which means:
Ko: means ‘regeneration’ or ‘renewal’
Nen: refers to year or years
Ki: describes ‘season’ or ‘energy’ in some contexts.
Menopause in Japan is a time of renewal during mid-life years bringing a sense of new purpose and growth. It is not a time to mourn what has occurred in the past but a time to embrace the future possibilities.
I like THAT!
Have visited Japan and love their culture. Or most of it but that’s for another time.
Think about this, Lynne. Menopause and menstruation both begin with the word men. Oh, there I go again.
Oh I totally get it! It’s like the “men pause”, right? And then there’s the word HIStory. And why are women called heroines? (Heroins).
We could go on and on. No wonder I adore you. You not only make me laugh but you also nurture my brain and give me new things to think about.
That is a two-way street, my friend!
Sometimes it’s as simple as looking up and forward, not down or backward. Also, a smile can instantly lift your (and the people around you) mood.
Yes, Joyce, remember that advice that if you smile for two minutes, it improves your brain chemistry? Even if it’s so fake you have to put a pencil between your teeth? (I saw that on YouTube somewhere.)
Somebody once said the difference between people who act old and those who act young (regardless of age) is this: old people talk about what they did. Young people talk about what they’re going to do.
I like the concept, although with my new awareness, I’d replace the word “old” with “boring” or “stuck”.
I think a smile makes people see you as a winner in some way. Like you’re on top of things. It’s a great beauty aid!
I enjoyed this, Lynne. I will mention here that I believe we’ve discovered a very important aspect of aging well: getting GREAT sleep every night. I have felt so concerned watching my husband drag around; I really saw him aging fast. I encouraged (well, nagged) him to try my melatonin-based sleep aid, and what a difference I see in him when he gets eight SOLID hours of good sleep. It’s even more urgent, I think, than exercise, but perhaps only because exercise is just about impossible without good sleep. 🙂 Hoping!
Jan, I am 100% with you on this. The last 4-5 nights, I barely got 6 hours. It’s okay for a few days, but then I start feeling nervous and overwhelmed. My confidence slips and I get sort of depressed and lose my direction. Unfocused. I analyzed what might be the problem, and fixed things last night. And I got between 7-8 hours! I feel so much better this morning! Like I’m equal to the task of keeping my world in balance (to the extent it’s ever up to any of us.)
I started to really pay attention to sleep after Arianna Huffington had that mishap where she, sleep-deprived, fainted in her office, hit her face on the edge of her desk, and broke a cheekbone. She awoke on the floor of her office, bloody. Wow, that woke me up!
I think I’ll do a post on this and ask people to contribute their tips for getting enough sleep. Thanks for the tip.
You can usually count on Jane Fonda to put ageing in the proper perspective, but even she has missed the subtle distinction between discussing aging in a powerful way, and unconsciously diminishing it.
She’s a fighter, and I admire her, but she serves my mission well in this respect.
Thanks Lynne,
Really enjoyed today’s post.
Mary
Thanks for telling me, Mary. It’s reassuring to hear.