I recently found a blog for women over 50. Said blog includes a 10-part series called “How Not To Look Old.” Also, More Magazine runs that crap all the time, and I’m appalled that we’re buying it. It’s like we’re still in junior high, reading Seventeen and slavishly following its mandates, afraid to show the slightest bit of independent thinking.
We’re so brainwashed to abhor age that our efforts to emulate children is accepted, expected, and admired. We demand it of ourselves and each other.
Oh, hell yes, unpuckered skin is beautiful, but I refuse to try to have it, or to lament that I don’t have it, or put some 18-year-old on a pedestal because she does have it. I also refuse to see myself as LESS because I have wrinkles, lines and crevasses. My belly looks like a road map of scars from life-saving surgeries. And I ain’t apologizin’.
My 85-yr-old mom is wrinkled and her spine is bent, but she attends exercise class three times a week, drives herself all over town, enjoys lunch and movies with a large group of girlfriends, and is still hungry to learn, grow and evolve. All of these women are old, and they’re successful at being old. They’re courageous and enthusiastic, in spite of the physical and mental pain that old age layers on. Yet when they go to the store they see the magazine stands plastered with headlines about how much we desperately do NOT want to look like them! Is that the news? Is that what matters?
I’ll tell you what matters: I recently had a scare. I thought I had a form of cancer (I don’t) that killed 2 of my aunts. One of them was 60 when she died. I’m 56, and after that experience, I don’t really care if I LOOK old – I’ll just be darned glad to GET old.
Lynne, I love love love your new photo — nobody would ever guess you’re 50-something! Must be that California lifestyle! I’m glad your “scare” didn’t pan out — stuff like that really puts all this youth-worship into perspective. We can no more turn back time than rabbits can sprout wings and fly, so we might as well embrace life and all it has to offer.
Thanks, Deb! Love the rabbits image. Happy Labor Day!
Beautifully said ,Lynne. I couldn’t agree with you more. You said it all in the last paragraph-life and health are truly a gift and if that is ever challenged, that gift becomes even more precious.Age..bring it on-we’ve earned it and now have our own kind of beauty.BTW, your profile picture is beautiful. I defy any 20 yo to look that good! Also , your Mom is a constant source of inspiration and a great role model for us all. Thanks for the post!
Kathy
Thank you for this blog, I have always thought growing old gracefully was one of the most beautiful things women can do for themselves! As you know, most of the women in my memoir workshops are between the ages of 60-92 and I have to say that they are beautiful women. There is a beauty that comes with just living a good life. I welcome each and every wrinkle and gray hair that I get.
Hi, Tammy and Kathy, thanks for your comments. Yes, wouldn’t it be great if our culture celebrated age instead of denigrating it! And we can do our little part by not buying into it. I just wrote a short story called “Her Eminence, The Crone” where everybody wants to be this wise old woman. And Tammy, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d love it if your students were to hear about my blog and comment liberally! Happy Labor Day.