Holly Whitman, journalist
I can’t tell you how many times in school I was forced to read coming-of-age books for boys, like Lord of the Flies and The Catcher in the Rye. It’s enough to make a girl wonder – what would happen if I were the kid-king after an abandoned airplane crash? I can tell you this: Lord of the Flies would have been a much different story with me in the lead.
In the 1970s, feminism responded to a lack of female role models and stories about girls. Now, with heroines like Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games in our worldview, women of my generation are transforming what it means to be a feminist.
Once a word young women ran from (no doubt due to the coining of “femi-nazi” that appeared in the late 1980s), the connotations have changed. I don’t negatively perceive feminism – and neither do other millennials I know. Nobody sees it as a cause that eschews men. With celebrities such as Patrick Stewart, Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch sporting tees saying “This Is What A Feminist Looks Like,” millennials embrace feminism.
What Changed for Millennials?
Millennials like me cut our teeth on Tina Fey — first on “SNL,” then with her book, Bossypants, and now, most of us have memorized the film she wrote, Mean Girls. What makes this movie unique isn’t just Fey’s connection. It aims to tackle bullying, but so did The Breakfast Club – which millennials also love, but for different reasons.
Mean Girls differs from similar movies because the teenage girls in the film are front and center. They aren’t side characters, girlfriends or helpers. They are the story. And that was, at least for me, crucial – I wanted to watch something that was more reflective of my own life.
I’m drawn to TV shows and films with strong women leads, like Outlander and Once Upon A Time.
As October’s breast cancer awareness campaign winds down, many products read “Fight Like a Girl.” Being a girl is no longer synonymous with weakness. Always, the feminine hygiene brand, embraced the “strong girl” idea on a grand scale last year — at the Super Bowl, no less. Their campaign carried a powerful message about cultural bias.
Do millennials even think about the word feminism?
I don’t, at least not in daily life. The term has been transformed in part by a leather-clad Beyoncé singing “Who Runs the World? Girls!” Sure, I sing along, but so do my male friends. Feminism has been internalized by self-assured women and men who don’t spend time worrying about what to call it and who have the confidence to question everything that doesn’t live up to our standards. Equal pay, I’m looking at you.
Do Women and Men Still Have a Different View of Gender Roles?
Women of my generation, if stranded on the side of the road, know enough to get going again. We’re not calling our dad, husband or brother to come save us from changing a tire or checking the oil. Millennial women no longer assume that roles are delegated by gender. Part of that is practicality. For example, in spite of wage inequality, if a woman gets a job and her husband can’t, it just makes sense for him to be their children’s primary care giver, a vast change from the baby boomer generation.
This Isn’t Our Mother’s Feminism
Of course, my generation’s relationship with feminism is complicated. Consider Lifetime’s series, UnREAL, where two women manipulate the ladies who populate a Bachelor-like TV show. They don’t fall easily into the categories of “good” or “bad” — which most fiction throws women into. Instead, they are nuanced, like women in real life. We’re sick of being typecast, in all areas of life. Don’t assume something about me because I’m a woman.
More recently there is Amazon’s import, Fleabag. It’s hilarious and heartfelt, but it is unflinchingly honest about what sex means for single women today. Taking notes from Amy Schumer’s comedy, millennials are relating to feminism less as an identifier and more as a lifestyle. And that’s good for all of us.
Lynne here. I hope you enjoyed our first essay from Millennial Representative Holly Whitman. (I’m joking; I promised I wouldn’t expect her to be the Voice of All Youth.) I appreciate her taking the time to give us an idea of how young women see feminism, and I trust her observations; she’s an experienced writer for Yahoo Finance, The Good Men Project, Feministing, Babble, Bust, and Politicus USA.
What about you? Do you see evidence that the young people around you have accepted feminism? Let’s hear it, cultural reporters. And please check out Holly’s website and blog.
This was great to hear. As a woman who lived through an era of “girls don’t” I could only hope for a reality like this
Yes, Mary, I agree. We can be proud of the foundation we laid (atop that laid for us.)
Hi Mary,
Thank you so much for your kind words!
Holly
Don’t know that I ever let the fact that I was a woman stop me from trying things. You know I grew up on a farm and had to carry my load of the work when I was young. Gender didn’t really matter when there was grain to haul or manure to fork out. Am proud to say that my two daughters do not let their gender stand in the way. One is a CPA and the other a senior accountant who is a single mom and almost completely deaf. Yet she works and supports herself and her son who is now a freshman in college. She has to fight for her rights maybe even more because of her disability but by God she does it! I feel that circumstances decide whether the woman will be strong or not. Does that make sense? Oh, Lynne, am half way through the book and am loving it! Good job mu friend!!
Judy, thanks so much for your kind words about my book! I’m glad you’re enjoying it, and I think the ending will be particularly meaningful for you.
As to the rest of your comment, it’s mixed, in my mind. Some of us have better luck than others, landing in an environment where gender isn’t as important as effort or tenacity, etc. And some of us have personal qualities that either help us or hold us back, but gender inequity has been a reality for along time and still is. Fortunately, it’s changing (although the older girls get, the greater the wage disparity, still). But from Holly’s reflections on the new status quo, I feel optimistic.
PS: check out Barbara’s blog, the post from Linda Hasselstrom who grew up on a ranch in SD and sounds like you and she could sit down and share stories: https://haddonmusings.com/2016/11/04/feminist-friday-26/
Hi Judy,
It’s great to hear that both you and your daughters have never let your gender get in the way of achieving what you want in life!
Holly
It’s encouraging to know that there are articulate, self-aware young women like Holly, who embrace feminism as their birthright, to whom we can pass the baton. Onward.
Amen, Sister.
Hi Roxanne,
Thank you so much for your lovely words on my post! I will forever be thankful for the work of your generation in laying the foundations for my fellow Millennial women and I. You’ve enabled us to have lives that I’m sure women didn’t think would be possible 50+ years ago.
Holly
I was pleased to read that Holly doesn’t assume one’s role(s) in life are dictated by gender, and I appreciated her acknowledgement of the complexity involved when defining feminism in the 21st century. In my experience, it often seems as if millennial women have difficulty envisioning what it was like to live within a strongly patriarchal culture, and therefore don’t always seem to aware of it’s lingering effects. Their response seems to be, “what took you so long?” (yikes!) Having said that, I still have confidence that women like Holly will continue to broaden the meaning of feminism and help all women achieve their potential!
Cynthia, thanks for your thoughtful comments. I used to feel unhappy that younger women (and men) seemed oblivious to the far distance we’ve come (“Iron-Jawed Angels,” anyone?) A few years ago, I happened to mention to my son, a smart and sophisticated kid who at the time was 35, the fact that women used to be seen as incapable of being police officers or fire fighters, and that they were barred, harassed, ridiculed, and run off–and the women who complained were punished. He was shocked. SHOCKED. Appalled. As was I, that he hadn’t known.
This kind of ignorance made me sad, at first. But then I thought this: if the kids are born into a world where such behavior would be appalling, then it’ll be harder for them to go back. Even if they’re blase’ about their rights, that could be a good thing, like inoculating them against accepting the stuff we had to go thru. So they can move forward, and, as Roxanne says, carry the baton. I’m really excited about this! And Holly represents youth who see the big picture, the history and the present. I’m grateful that she shared her thoughts with us.
Hope you’ll stop by again.
Hi Cynthia,
Thank you so much for your comment! I know that I personally strive to always remember how far women have come (in large part, thanks to the women of your generation!) and will continue to call out men (and sometimes women!) when necessary if I feel like my freedom or choices are threatened due to my gender. It’s hard to imagine what life was like for my predecessors when we are blessed to enjoy such relative freedom today. But as a former history and politics major, I always keep that context in mind.
You are absolutely right that so many millennials just don’t even have the awareness, let alone acknowledgment, of the past. I hope that I can, in some small way, change that. I look forward to the continued progress that I know we can make!
Holly
This is a well nuanced explanation of what feminism means to this young woman. But as a matriarch of the movement, I would say that we felt the same way – just let women live as equals and be respected no matter what paths they choose in life.
Bernadette, I loved this post from your blog: https://haddonmusings.com/2016/11/04/feminist-friday-26/ As to your comment, nobody could say it better. Thanks for your contributions to this blog and to the movement.
Hi Bernadette,
I couldn’t have said it better myself! True freedom is formed by equality and respect, and I only hope that others of my generation will continue to lead us all, men and women, in this direction.
Holly