I’m addicted to advice columns and especially “Tell Me About It” by Carolyn Hax. Recently, a woman with a clueless husband got this advice from an online commenter:
I believe in making it easy for your spouse to make you happy. If I have spent a whole afternoon deep-cleaning the kitchen, rather than expect my husband to notice (and brood if he doesn’t), I tell him, “Admire the kitchen — I spent the whole afternoon cleaning.” Then he admires with fervor. If you care that he/she remembers your anniversary/birthday, remind him or her. It may be less romantic than surprises, but marriage is for the long haul, and playing mind games or expecting your spouse to read your mind gets in the way of happiness.
I like the above because it reminds me that Boomers have been through it, and if we have brains, we’re no longer as motivated by the drama. Don’t care for it, in fact. There was a time that it seemed much more exciting. Now, it’s just tiring. We have learned to say what we mean, and do it with a twinkle in our eyes. Life is too short for drama.
Yes, Amen Sistahs!
Lynne, I love that advice! Cuts right to the chase, without passing Go or collecting $200! And you’re sooo right about the drama — it makes much more sense to ask for what we need, rather than make our loved ones guess all the time. They’re not mind-readers, and we learn that as we go through life (or we should, anyway!)
Amen, Sistah!