Writing was my dream, but I had to delay it for almost forty years as I worked and raised a family. Even though I was too tired every day to write, I kept the dream alive. I read short stories and novels, studied articles and books on craft, attended classes and workshops, and asked writers why and how they did things. Often, I spoke my ideas and thoughts into a voice recorder during the one-hour commute up and down the Cajon Pass.
Alone at La Quinta Resort, Coachella Valley
When I began writing my first book, I worried that it wasn’t good enough. I’m self-taught. My degree was in business, not writing. I had learned to write memos, not fiction.
Treebones Resort in Big Sur
But then I saw this: a recent review on Goodreads (for somebody else’s book, not mine) said, “The writing and characters were not high quality fancyass literature. And there were some glaring holes in the plot. And sometimes I got the characters confused now who was related to who. But by GOD this one kept me enthralled and spellbound from the first to the very last page.” The reviewer gave the book 5 stars.
Plane over Discovery Passage, Campbell River, BC
The review filled me with inspiration and motivation. I felt sure, maybe for the first time, that my creative writing degree from Self-Taught University was good enough. I would tell the best story I could, and maybe the reader would feel the connection. Maybe even love my stories.
Singer Island, West Palm Beach, Florida
So that’s what I did, and based on the reviews, it seems like the right choice. I’ve had some success now with my two books. After postponing my dream for four decades, it feels good. Real good. I am finally living the dream, one I intend to pursue for the rest of my life.
Sydney Harbor at night. We took the picture as we set out for open waters on a cruise ship.
So here’s the takeaway, readers. If you are old enough to finally pursue your dream, are you doing so? If not, is it because you’re afraid of being exposed as imperfect? In that case, remember that life is unpredictable, and get moving. Don’t let the perfect, as they say, be the enemy of the good.
And if you’re a younger person, still churning away in the white-hot middle years, caring for everybody other than yourself and not a spare energy molecule to expend on your dream, at least do this: start a folder or binder or box, into which you can toss or write down anything you want pertaining to your dream. Inspirations, notes, magazine articles, pictures, people who’re doing it, possible approaches, what you expect to enjoy when you finally get to focus on it – anything that will keep the dream alive. Because you want to remember, later, what it was your heart pined for when you were younger. So you can follow that melody some day.
What is your dream, and are you chasing after it now? If not, do you have a strategy? Let me know in the comments below.
Lynne – It seems like it takes at least until we’re 60 years old to figure out and admit things that have happened to us when we were children. I’m going through some things now, different from yours, but similar as most of our delayed reactions come from childhood. I’m happy you’re getting this out, not only to lighten the load you’ve been carrying for years, but to help others to know it’s okay to talk about it.
I look forward to reading more next week and don’t worry, we’ll all be here to support you.
xoxo
Vonnie
It wasn’t until I hit my late 30s that I started to follow my dream of being a writer. Looking back, it’s easy to see where I made the choice, although at the time, I didn’t realize the impact of my decision. I could have returned to school and obtained an LLM. But I had no desire to do that and realized that if I was going back to school yet again, it would be for an MFA or a degree in journalism, which had nothing to do with my job doing tax law. With all the student loans that I had already, I knew another degree was not the answer and I would have to jump in and start writing. While things are rather uncertain financially at this point, I love the writing that I have been doing. I just turned 50 and I’m glad that I’ve had the courage to try and live my dream!
Lisa, I had a big smile on my face as I read your comment. I think it was when I realized that, like me, your education and employment taught you to write cut-and-dried, objective, facts-based material. NOT fiction! Even nonfiction is less restrictive than what we were taught to write. No emotion, no storytelling. So that alone is a thrill, to invent stuff. I loved your blog’s “About” page, BTW. My grandson’s birthday is also 9/11. He is 2.
Lynne, I can so relate to your journey, having myself waited past my 50th birthday to take a break from the engineering world and to begin writing. After years of reading and wishing I could one day write my own story, I finally woke up one day and decided to take the plunge. I’m still hanging in mid-air now, not yet sure where I’ll be landing in the end, but boy has it been worth every minute of the ride! It’s like the teen-age years, discovering part of myself all over again. Here’s to following one’s dream, no matter at what age!
Jim, it’s funny you would equate it to the “teenage years” because in many ways it is EXACTLY that weird, disconcerting, and yet, promising. Here’s to the reprise of your teen years!
It is good that you achieved your dream, even if it took 40 years, your tenacity paid off. I like the photos you showed on your post – they are dreamy too.
To answer your takeaway reader – from the time my mother took me on a ship from Paris to Istanbul to get my grandmother I knew I wanted to travel to many lands, and I did. I came to the US just to travel and the first 3 months traveled to 38 states via Greyhound! Since being a child I have traveled to 60 countries (the last 2 this year – Finland and Estonia.) Of course that does not count going back to France twice a year to visit my parents for decades. But you see I am pleased now that I did not wait till retirement because my husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimer and traveling is not easy now and I imagine will get harder, so my dreams now are my memories, and I am pleased I did not wait. Although he only has had the disease for 4 years and I take him on many little trips to engage his mind and on cruises, which are easier to negotiate. Sometimes if you wait for your dream too long, it can be too late.
What a life you have had, Vagabonde! Like you, I understand that my time in this existence is fleeting. My husband and I live everyday as if we are banking memories. Everything changes. It is good to appreciate What you have when you have it!
Thanks for the inspiring article.
I appreciate your comment “don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.”
I think the fear of not writing a perfect book kept me on the sidelines for several years.
Now, several books later, like you, it’s hard for me to imagine not writing.
Terry, I can’t take credit – it’s an old saying. But well worth remembering from time to time. Best wishes with all your endeavors.
Oh you sound like me…at least most of the way 🙂 My first book is far from perfect. However, I have had high praise for it from various people who are avid readers, including a previous boss who was never one to whitewash any thoughts/comments, and she loved it. So many readers wrote to tell me how the story inspired and encouraged them in their lives. Of course, some who purchased my book never commented, which means they did not read it at all or did not like it and would not tell me. One person who recently read it, is working on her own book and following prescribed process and rules for writing a story. She poked holes in my story suggesting other things I should have done with the story.
As I terminated contract with publisher in 2006 it is no longer being printed.
Part of me feels it should get back out there to be available for anyone who might enjoy it, and or benefit from it. Yet I wonder if I should let it rest. There is so much to learn about e-publishing and marketing these days, which are now required for those of us who are unknown..it is overwhelming trying to learn and decide what to do. And I would only want to do just because I want to and not depending on it for income.
I relocated last November and now that I am fairly settled, am looking for part time work.
Also doing so many other things yet praying to get in a time and space where I focus on writing and all its other requirements 🙂
Ann, if you feel like publishing your book again, contact me at LMSpreen@Yahoo.com and I will give you some ideas. Best wishes in your job hunt, and in finding time to let the artist in you breathe!
Thanks Lynne, I appreciate your wishes and encouragement. Will email you.
P.S. Lynne, just a note to let you know I did email you yesterday evening in case it went to your spam folder 🙂
“Self trained” is often found to be refreshing from our public.
As an Artist without formal training of any kind, I know that the works that sell are because my heart went into every stroke of my brushes.
I have had fellow artists that were formally trained tell me “Doing it that way is just not acceptable, you will have to do it the right way or nothing will ever sell.”
(Initially I never thought any of my art would sell, and really didn’t care if it did)
I paint what I feel, the purchasers of my art do so because they feel something. It may not be composed in the accepted manner, but it works for me and my clients, and that is what it is really all about isn’t it?
When I read your Novel I was captured in a second, and sorry to see it end. I don’t know about where the commas/periods/exclamation marks/proper sentence structure should be.
I read the wonderful words.
Being true to yourself has worked just fine for me, and most assuredly worked for you.
Keep on doing what your doing, it gives me a wonderful story and that is all I ask for.
Kathleen, I think after all the training, the artist will then have to fight her way back to authenticity in order to really soar. I sometimes watch pro golf on TV, and I see guys huddling with their caddies, calculating everything into their next shot. As a very amateur golfer, I chuckle and say to Bill, “I’m glad I don’t have all that in my head. It would paralyze me.” As it is, I think, with my writing, too. I go by feel, more or less, after learning everything I can. I’m still learning; that’s part of the fun. Thank you so much, my friend, for your kind words about my book.
How sweet it is.
Amen, Brother.
Love your words of wisdom from your lived-experience, Lynne. It’s never too late to reach out for those dreams but one has to be doggedly persistent, as you have, to reach the goal. I also love your statement that your love of writing does not qualify as a passion, otherwise you would aim for perfection and not enjoy it as much. That is a very valuable lesson. We get one go-around and best to choose activities that nurture our souls and make us happy. Thank you for another provocative post.
Kathy, you come from the same place. I loved your book and know you traveled exactly the same path to get it written.
Isn’t it wonderful, Lynne, that your dream is also one of your gifts. I love your writing, especially the essays and shorts. I’ve been savoring them for the empowerment and reflection they bring. How fortunate we are that you perservered
Thanks for saying so, Nanci. You lift me up.
Hi Lynne. Loved this. I did as you did, putting raising a family and work ahead of my dream of being an author. Finally at age 70 I can say that I am proud of myself for doing what I always wanted to do. It involved a lot of hard work and learning to get published and it sure doesn’t end there as you well know, but I did it!! Love reading your entrees. Keep them coming. You have such a special talent and I love your writing.
Judy, when we met that day at the Writers’ Guild, I so enjoyed talking with you about your book, writing in general, and marketing strategies. I felt like we had known each other for years! I ordered your book in the Kindle version and can’t wait to read it.
Thanks, Lynne. Am also bringing you a signed copy at the next guild meeting. Keep up the good work. I love reading everything you write. Today some one on Facebook asked me “What was that book you mentioned about North Dakota?” Was thrilled to give her your name and the name of your book ‘Dakota Blues’. See you soon.
That makes me so happy, Judy! I will eagerly look forward to that copy!
Excellent advice! I’m still trying to figure out what my dream is. I have a lot of interests, but no obvious passions. I am looking forward to rekindling my artistic self and I know, when I do, I will have to ignore that little voice inside me that tells me if it’s not perfect (and it never is), I should just give up trying.
Janis, 2 thoughts: one, I love my writing, but I’m not sure it rises to passion. That might make me feel obligated to do it, do it perfectly, and love it constantly and with fervor. When sometimes I have to flat DRAG myself to the keyboard. Two, be sure to identify your goal. If you think of creating art, is the goal to sell it and make a few bucks or to just fool around, creating it and making yourself happy? Because if it’s the latter, the bar is lower. Just my 2 cents.
PS Janis, see Martin’s comment for the real wisdom of this discussion.
Great advice, Lynne. You deserve a tremendous amount of admiration for so doggedly and persistently following your dream.
I’m relating to this pretty strongly. As you know, I’ve started watercolor painting again after a hiatus of about 25 years. I feel about my painting the way you felt about your writing: “I worried that it wasn’t good enough.”
I’m of an age now (quite a bit older than you, as you know), that “good enough” doesn’t really mean anything. What means something is the pleasure I’m getting while pursuing my dream of becoming an accomplished watercolorist — at the same school you went to, Self-Taught University.
Thanks for reminding me that pursuing the dream is what it’s all about.
Yes, Martin, OUR dream, OUR standards, and WE get to decide when and how and what. Best wishes with your fantastic paintings. Which readers can access here: https://www.facebook.com/watercolorsbymartin