I used to look at Ashton Kutcher and think pretty boy tech geek who got lucky when he caught the eye of Demi Moore. And that’s true, but it’s not the whole story.
When I saw this video of Kutcher, I fell in like with the guy. (Skip the first minute.) He tells his teenaged audience three important things, all of which I agree with:
- Opportunity looks a lot like hard work. He’s been a roofer, a custodian, a sandwich maker, and a sweeper. “I’ve never had a job in my life that I was better than. I’ve always just been lucky to have a job. Every job was a stepping stone to the next job, and I never quit my job until I had the next job.”
- Being sexy: “The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart. And being thoughtful. And being generous. Everything else is crap, I promise you. It’s just crap that people try to sell to you, to make you feel like less. So don’t buy it.”
- Living life: “Build a life. Don’t live one. Build one.”
I think it’s reassuring to feel a sense of commonality with younger people. it’s nice to think we’re in it together, because otherwise, we divide up into tribes, which is a bummer, and a waste of potential synergy. Life is hard for everybody. We’ve got our old problems, and they’ve got their young problems.
Jay Z made me happy, too, with the way he related so generously to people who are talents in their own right. In this video, he gets out of the stadium and does an interactive gig with about 50 people.
Jay Z and Marina Abromovic eye to eye
In the video, “Picasso, Baby,” Jay Z performs for artists, dancers, and other creative types, who in turn perform for him, and I dare you not to dance. I especially liked when a stylish woman in her late 70s, early 80s? sits down in front of him and he forgets his lines, like he’s blown away by her fabulousness. She throws back her head and laughs.
One of the ways we create tribes is through our music. I wonder if there’s not something about the way our brains form when we’re young that causes us to imprint a certain kind of rhythm and sound. For example, I love the music of my era, the 60s and 70s (Led Zepp, Dylan, Fleetwood Mac, Turtles, Beach Boys; you get the idea). I don’t cotton to hip hop or rap. But then along come Jay Z and his friends, and suddenly I’m dancing to hip hop. That made me happy.
In earlier times, tribalism kept us safe. But now the challenge is to break out and see if you can share a feeling with someone not of your tribe – in this case, the tribe of age. I loved what Ashton Kutcher had to say, and I danced my @$$ off to Jay Z’s video. I felt happy and safe, thinking I’m not alone, that I’m part of their tribe and they of mine. Life is sweet.
On another subject, when I was in Rushville, Indiana last month, I went for a walk every morning in the neighborhood around my hotel. It was pretty enough, in an old-home American flag way, that it choked me up. I was listening to a particular song one day on my iPod, and I thought, dang, I have to make a video of what I’m seeing, and set it to just that music, so you can experience my heart land. So here it is, my love letter to Rushville, accompanied by Gregory Alan Isakov’s The Stable Song.
Click on picture to see video
Your love letter to Rushville is beautiful. Thank you.
Thanks for saying so, Susan. Rushville stole my heart.
Ty for that beautiful
Yes very beautiful…. it was kinda weird my house showed up and I could see the very window to which the room I’m watching this video now thank you so much this was very moving for me
My pleasure, James. I went back and watched it again after I saw your comment and I missed Rushville all over again.
Best wishes.
Lynn and Amelia, I have to confess that when I left my comment, one thing I wasn’t thinking about was the influence that celebrities have on their fans. And yes, when they do make intelligent remarks and issue sound advice, for example to young people, or treat older people with respect, then that is a certainly a positive element of their celebrity.
But I’m afraid that the Yang to that Yin is often seen as well — what kind of message did Miley Cyrus send to her young adoring fans?
Nevertheless, I’m pleased that Kutcher and Jay Z left the kinds of messages they did.
Martin, you’ve commented here at AST before and your comments are always intelligent. So we figured that. But I enjoyed the expanded version too.
I got the same kind of smile when I saw Ashton Kutcher saying what he did. it gave me faith and hope that there are still some good things left in the world – and while what he said might have seemed like platitudes and such to the older set — this was something that needed to be heard for the first time by the younger ones. I know that I needed to be reminded, that’s for sure.
Amelia, it made me happy too. Thanks for commenting.
I’ll just never be able to understand folks’ (including my lovely wife’s) fascination with the lives of celebrities. I understand admiring their talent, but why do people care so much about what they do out of role? Did he/she do a good thing, a bad thing . . . who really cares? Well, of course millions and millions seem to care. But why?
Not really criticizing, just wondering confusedly. I read an opinion piece yesterday in the NY Times by the woman who plays the protagonist’s wife in Breaking Bad. People hate her character. Well, that’s fine when she’s in character. But that hatred — and that’s the right word to use in this case — now extends to her as a person, even to the point of death threats!
Come on, people, there really is a life beyond celebrity, honest!
By the way, just discovered your site today. I expect to be a frequent visitor. Thanks.
Hi Martin, glad you found us, and thanks for your thoughtful comment. Speaking for myself, I was excited about Kutcher’s comments because he has a large audience and a lot of influence in the younger generations, and there he was, telling the kids exactly what I’d like to tell them: use your brains, be kind, work hard, and don’t be afraid to break your own trail as you create your adult life. Very reassuring to think this “thought leader” for young Americans is telling them a good thing. Second, re Jay Z, I’ve felt alienated from the kids’ music and thus a little bit cut off from them. So to see Jay Z, who is not only a vocalist/composer but a sharp, successful businessman, respecting older people, dancing with them, and being struck dumb by one gutsy, snazzy older broad, just delights me. And to find myself enjoying the music enough that I had to dance? Priceless. But bottom line, it was reassuring. Both videos were. I felt that I wasn’t so worried about the direction Youth is taking in America. BTW, did you watch the 3rd video? It’s my ode to the heartland, small town America. Makes people cry. Hope you enjoy it.
Loved the sentiment of this post on many levels
Thanks, Elizabeth.
Loved your video. Beautiful images! You have a really good eye! Reminded me of my hometown in eastern Ohio.
Thanks, Cynthia. Glad you enjoyed it.
Trifecta. Love the post, the video and the accompanying music. Nicely done Lynne.
Coming from you, David, that means a lot. Your blog always inspires me.
I so agree. That’s why it is not recommended for older folks to move to retirement communities. Hanging out with only your own tribe will make you age faster. We need the diversity of all age groups to stay young.
Rosy
rosythereviewer.blogspot.com
Rosy, thanks for your comment. I actually do live in a 55+ community, and I enjoy having people around/nearby of my own age-related tribe. But there’s truly a danger in getting too homogeneous, so I make sure to find opportunities to work alongside and talk with younger peeps.
For some reason I couldn’t get a “picture” of Ashton Kutcher out of my thoughts when he made the comment about “being sexy.” Seems to me there was a photo of him in a hot tub with more than one “smart, thoughtful, and generous” young woman about the time he was breaking up with his wife. I liked the content of his message too…just not sure that I can “buy it.”
The term “tribe” has come to mean something very special for me at this point in my life. Obviously, my family is my first and most important “tribe”…and we have “grown” in the past six years with the addition of two wonderful daughters-in-law and three little grandchildren.
However, in the past 14 years I have connected with four other “tribes” that have had a positive impact on my life.
At 50 I began tap dancing classes…and four years later I started clogging. The women I dance with are the first people who I considered to be one of my “tribes.” Just recently I have begun taking an exercise class that seems to be turning into an “extension” of my “dance tribe.”
During my 55th summer I went to San Francisco to become a certified Tour Director. I was totally “at home” with these travelers who had come together to be trained to help other people “see the world.” This particular “tribe” is one of my favorites, and continues to grow and expand to include others who work in the travel and tourism industry, as well as the clients who repeatedly request that I lead them on another trip.
Another “tribe” is the people I have met through social networking (especially in Elderwomanspace) and through online “conversations.” Lynne…you are part of this “cyber tribe.” This tribe continues to expand as well. When I retired in 2010, I would have felt very “isolated” without the Internet and the opportunity to have meaningful “conversations” with intelligent, well read, mature, optimistic, purposeful and wise women. This is the “tribe” I can access anytime and anywhere I have Internet connection…even as I sit in my pajamas having that second cup of morning coffee.
My fourth “tribe” is Hospice. I am a volunteer for the local Hospice residence. The people who work there as well as the residents I have met there are part of a unique “tribe” that gifted me with some profound opportunities.
So to me, “tribes” are about expansion, growth, evolvement and reaching out to others. The people who are part of each of these “tribes” seem to “get me” in a way that other people do not…and I’m OK with that because I have my TRIBES.
Sue, thanks for going into the detail you did. We can learn from you. My takeaway from your generous comment is that we are at home on earth when we’re part of a tribe, or tribes, plural, as you are. You’re such a great example for me. Thanks.
I’m not a hip-hop fan but I won’t trash it. I try to enjoy all kinds though.
When Ashton made his speech, he grabbed my attention and now I have a lot of respect for him. Someone who still is young enough that young people will listen, needs to set a good example and I like his.
I’m glad he’s not running around making (bad) news.
Tess, I’m not a fan either, but I found myself really moving to this.
Moving keeps ya limber. It’s not good when the joints start to seize up. 🙂
U R right, girlfriend.
I have always respected Jay-Z’s music, but I really came to appreciate him as an “artist” after coming across this video. I have been sharing it like crazy because it gave me such a good feeling.
Me, too, Amy. Glad you enjoyed it.
I too had a change of heart about Ashton Kutcher after seeing the video (perhaps better stated – ‘I finally really noticed Ashton Kutcher). I’m not the greatest hip hop fan, though I loved Jay-Z’s documentary too – touched as you were by his warmth, affinity for others and seemingly generous heart. I prefer to think of us as all in this together too – for in the purest sense, when you cut through all the generational, cultural crap – we are.
But my favorite part of your post? The video without question! Now I want to go to Rushville..
Aw, thanks, Mimi! And I got the Kutcher lead from you.