Am I too old for this? Should women over X wear Y? Why are we still asking ourselves these questions?
Why are we still trying to be The Good Girl? Haven’t we outgrown the need for approval from that anonymous authority, They? As in, “They say you shouldn’t wear shimmery eye shadow after forty.” Or, “They say a woman over fifty should never wear shorts.”
In this article, a woman wonders if it’s still okay for her to want to wear sparkly things, at her age. She says:
I want to sparkle…just a bit.
Isn’t that OK? Does it really matter how silly a middle-aged woman may look with sparkles on her backside?
I took it to Twitter a few weeks ago and threw it out there…
When is a woman too old for bling on her back pockets?
I’m wondering when does a woman get too old to let people tell her what to wear. Here’s what They said on Twitter:
If she has to ask, she probably already knows the answer.
I understand the desire to look appropriate. You wouldn’t wear torn jeans to a wedding, or a see-through blouse to a job interview. But when it comes to age, any article questioning whether we’re too old for a certain style annoys me, because it implies there’s an authority to whom we owe obedience. Really, at this age? Listen, if I have to live with the wrinkles-and-turkey-neck thing, I’m going to wear whatever I damn well want.
It does take a certain amount of self-confidence to wear what you like, but if you don’t have it by now, a little soul-searching might be in order.
These days, I resist being told what to do. I make up my own mind, now that I know what it is.
Besides, I’ve worked too hard over lo these many years to develop a backbone, and I like the feel of it.
A couple of my friends blog about fashion for women who love being over fifty. They’re excited about creating a brand new style for themselves. One is Donna Pekar, and another is Lisa at Privilege. Here is Lisa, below, and I think you’ll agree she personifies the type of woman who would never allow anyone to dictate fashion to her.
Especially not with those shitkickers on.
oh, I failed to add, ‘tell it, girl.’ lol I’m too old and ornery to ask permission for anything regarding what I do, wear, feel. “Don’t like it?” Let the person deal with their issue cause it ain’t mine. 🙂
Oh, you are gonna love tomorrow’s post. See you then.
Lynne, Thanks so much for coming by. I’ll be here, tomorrow. I’m glad you’re here and I found my way to your space.
Love the attitude and look! Will be checking out her blog. I work part-time in retail fashion and I’m always looking for fresh, sexy, stylish looks for me and my peers.
LaTonya, Lisa at Privilege blogs exclusively about fashion, and Donna at Rock the Silver does other subjects in addition to. BTW, I love the tagline on your blog (“One woman’s terrifying and glorious leap off the cliff of midlife.”) Hope you’ll stop by often.
Lynne, I’m pretty conservative as I have always been and I usually go with comfort and what looks best on me. Most of the clothes that are in vogue would look ridiculous on me. And quite honestly , I never really learned how to walk in spiked heels. I don’t care what “they” say especially when a lot of the fashions are geared to the younger, skinnier type. Great discussion!
You can’t go wrong with “comfort and what looks best.” See you around, Sis.
Lisa is gorgeous. The hell with people telling us how we should dress. I think most of us 50+ women have the sense to know that micro-minis won’t pass at our jobs. I’m glad to see some designers who recognize that there’s a huge market out there for older women. I am so very sick of seeing designers constantly focusing on the younger, skinnier groups.
If the designers want to make money, they can focus on us. If they want the glory of dressing little girls, well, I guess they can do that. But we’ve got the bucks. Allegedly.
Hi Lynne — thanks for the shout out! I’ve been a bad blogger lately. Lots of drama in my work life, but hopefully all is getting settled and I can get back to writing and thinking about fun stuff again.
You’re in the thick of it, Donna. Keep sending back messages from the front.
I have always been indifferent to fashion, which is ironical given that I lived in Paris, fashion capital of the world. I wear what is comfortable and never throw out outdated clothes, because I know that eventually it will be back in style again, (ie. bell bottoms, painter pants, bib overalls.)
And it always comes back around. It kills me to see the platform shoe turned into a justification for 7″ heels.
I can tell you right now that I wear what I want. I love my walking shorts. They show off my two beautiful new scars on my knees so beautifully.
Hugs,
Laura
On your FABULOUS new knees.
Love the look here, if I looked like her, I’d be in the skinny jeans too. I do like posts like this, Every woman should wear what she feels good in.
And the silver hair goes great with the elegant biker look.
LOVE this conversation! I’m 54 (or 55, I’d have to check my driver’s license) and feel I HAVE to wear sparkly eye shadow. It’s the ONLY thing that looks right with my long hair and skinny jeans!!
That’s what it’s all about, Mary. Sparkle away.
Good for you! Great, confident readers replies. We can do anything we want, we’ve eared it. Of course, the family is still talking about the pants my mother wore at age 76. Cut out hearts up th sides. But we loved her spirit and her younger boyfriend. 🙂
What a great sense of confidence she must have had! Thanks for that story, Sandra.
Yesterday, I went through all of my clothes and donated anything that I have not chosen in a while..The result is a collection of cool, kick ass outfits. Some are from the Goodwill. Some I have made, etc. I like short skirts and tights with no feet! I like cammies and see-thru over shirts. I like tunics and skinny jeans…these are my style. I really believe that if our bodies are not ideal ( and whose is??) we just have to dress for how we are. Love our awesome bodies. Never say negative things about ourselves..just say Thank You when someone compliments you!!! This WILL happen when you show your positivity.
Love getting rid of stuff I don’t use. Otherwise, it’s a false front. My closet appears to hold clothing but if I never wear it, where’s the pleasure?
Well, moderate me, baby!
Consider yourself moderated, baby! But only this once. After that, you’ve got free rein.
Love this post and the invigorating replies – especially about the sagging arm skin. I read your post each week and enjoy every one. However, the ones I identify with the most are those dealing with body image. I am redefining my own body image after weight loss and I really want to stop wearing sleeves when it is 100+ outside. I doubt I have the courage, but I am going to keep reading your posts and sole searching for that courage. Thanks!!!!
Pennie, if you’ve lost weight, you’re a champ and you deserve to enjoy the feeling of sun on your arms. Nobody qualifies to judge you. Nobody!
Looking oh so fine!!!
I’m with you, Lynne. And, like Shawn (above) I wear my hair short and spiky with big earrings and enough makeup to make me feel pretty before I go out. 🙂
I did slip back a bit this morning and asked my sweetie if I looked okay in black leggings and a thigh-length top to go to Barnes&Noble. He said I looked fine, but I thought, why am I asking??
If I get too crazy I ask myself, ‘Would this look ok for a 59 year in Manhattan or San Fransisco? The answer is usually yes. 🙂
I feel much more confident when I doll myself up. I don’t think I’ll ever be a capri pants and sneakers kind of girl.
Great post, Lynne.
Vonnie, it’s all about us! (I love being able to say that sometimes). If you’ve decided you want to do X and it doesn’t hurt anybody, rock out!
Hi everyone! Lynne, thank you very much for including my picture here. It’s a question that fascinates me, why society cares so much about what women wear. I have to assume it has to do with our fertility, Darwinist that I am. So in our 50s, we can’t show our flesh if it no longer aligns with the desired female form because its inappropriate; we can’t show our flesh if it does have the “look,” because we might distract the male gaze. Or so goes my theory. I am not sure yet of the real answer:).
Oh, Lisa, I am so in agreement on that. Our society thus far has not figured out how to value age, of whatever gender. So at this point, fertility is the standard, but we older women have the numbers and the desire to change that perception. That’s what I’m trying to do. PS I LOVE your blog.
AMEN, Lynne! We’ve worked for years to become ourselves — strong, independent. And just because we’ve reached “a certain age,” we’re supposed to roll over and die? I think not! I just bought the cutest pair of lime-green Chuck Taylors and wear them with pride — sure, ALL the popular kids are wearing them, but why shouldn’t I, too? After all, I didn’t have to let my parents buy them, for cryin’ out loud!!
I love your spirit! Thanks, Debbie.
Amen and howdy Sista! I am going on a cruise next week and showing my mottled crepey legs and arms to the world!!
Because you are IN the world, Nanci! How dare anyone take that pleasure from you. Have fun on your cruise. Remember our 3-day one with Sharon Dimery, around Catalina (endlessly) and into Mexico? That was my first cruise ever, first time to see the inside of a cruise ship. I had just met Bill and he lent me a book by Wilbur Smith, which made me fall in love. That was about 20 years ago, Sista! Be sure to wave at the Panamanians as you go through their canal. They’ll wave at you from tall buildings at one point.
I was just telling your” meeting Bill story” to friends who had just bought a new car at dinner last night. They thought it was awesome…… Pam Evenson was on that cruise…..Cool that the Panamanians will wave. We are actually stopping in Panama. I am looking forward to it!
This was brilliant . . . ” I make up my own mind, now that I know what it is. Besides, I’ve worked too hard over lo these many years to develop a backbone, and I like the feel of it.”
Love it! Great insight. Thanks for the links. Look forward to checking them out. Your friend, Lisa, rocks.
I’m 63. Is that too old to say someone rocks? 😉
There are no rules, Susan! Say it if you want to. I thought your comment was totally bitchen.
Lynne; I feel this way about hair style. I’ve tried to wear my hair the way others tell me: longer looks softer; less spike looks kinder; too much red makes you look angry. But you know what? Those people aren’t me and I like short, spiky, dark red hair. I also like bling, punk, sweats, retro and tight jeans with biker boots. So sue me.LOL
Shawn, one of the most confident, talented, stylish and active people I know wears her hair in a Dorothy Hamill. She jokes about it, and says she drives for over an hour to get to the stylist who cuts it. But it is her haircut and she will not change. I admire her for this.
I loved my mother-in-law. As she aged, she wore long or three quarter sleeves even in the summer. I knew she did this because the skin on her arms sagged and draped as it has begun to do on my arms. If someone told me to wear clothes to hide my aging, I would probably flash every sagging bit of skin I could. It’s about choice and what makes us feel comfortable. Dressing our age is not about protecting others from the realities of aging but about living a life that makes us happy and comfortable, so if bling and long sleeves does it, so be it.
Dolores, I like that example. I will probably drape myself somewhat, but it has to be a choice, as you say. I’ve been wearing skirted swimsuits for several years now. They look like tennis dresses. If I were told I SHOULD wear them due to my age, though, I’d probably figure out a way to manage a bikini, surgical scarring notwithstanding!
You know, I didn’t listen to my mother when I was a teen-ager hellbent and determined to wear what I wanted (though I will say it was relatively within reason, though arguably not particularly flattering); I sure don’t pay much attention to editorial fashion ‘don’ts’ at 58. That said, I love Lisa’s look!!!
She has such a sense of style, doesn’t she? Really inspiring and unique.