Remember that old song, Boomers? Here it is on YouTube if you’re feeling nostalgic.
My big sister and I sometimes smile that refrain to each other when we see a particular example of self-indulgence or nit-pickiness. The subtext is, Who has time for such foolishness?
I write about this today because of a column by Lynn Casteel Harper, a goodhearted woman, a chaplain in fact, who lives a mindful life. Lynn writes of her friend who, each year, peruses his vocabulary in search of words to excise. What a luxurious life he must live, overflowing with time for excessive contemplation.
I live in a 55+ community with lots of retired peeps, so I have a front row seat for this phenomenon. Some of us, no longer running to jobs, have too much time on our hands and lose our perspective. We develop new bad habits of insularity, tribalism, and obsession with our own needs.
I don’t mean to be flip about folks who have worked hard for years and earned a chance to rest. God bless ’em. And who can say how a person should live his or her life? I guess what bugs me is the preoccupation with one’s own needs when there is so much good waiting to be done in our community. We’re so blessed, being retired, but it’s the way of the mind to get accustomed to any situation in which we spend a lot of time. So we nitpick the effectiveness or attitude of the housekeeper, or the degree of sparkling purity of the Olympic-sized pool.
Lately, I’m getting used to spending part of every day at the rehab hospital where my mom is laid up. At first it seemed like a place to avoid, but I’m getting to know the workers and patients, and where you can get coffee or fresh ice for a pack, and where the fresh towels are so I can wash Mom’s hair because the staff just can’t. I definitely do not have time to ponder which word I might next excise from my vocabulary.
I’ve been guilty from time to time of preoccupation with myself, but as soon as I have too much time on my hands, life tends to snap my head around and I end up chastened. The next time I start doing too much navel-gazing, I’ll go volunteer in a rest home or something.
As someone with a busy doctor husband, and myself being in a Master’s Program for Nonprofit Mgmt, I have plenty I could do. But I often feel I have too much time on my hands as well. The key is in interacting with others. When you are alone too much, even with many tasks calling your name, you can start becoming too preoccupied with yourself. We have only lived in this area for 2 years so we haven’t made any really great friends, the kind you can really be yourself around. As spring comes, now is the time to really get out. Thanks for the inspiration, Lynne.
Great post Lynne. People who are too navely (to use your term) are a waste of time, space and air. In my humble opinion. Sure, it is a good thing to look towards yourself, to reflect and make positive changes in your life. But, if “you” are not participating in a community, a group of people, or a cause….. then keep your complaints about the sparkly pool to yourself. I’m busy!
Yep, yep, yep!
Lynne, this post really has me thinking as I contemplate my retirement. Though I can’t quite fathom having too much time on my hands, I pray I don’t allow myself to ever fall victim to complacency or ,as you say, becoming nitpicky. I think getting outside of ourselves once in a while and facing hardships as you are doing with Mom in the Rehab is the key to avoiding that trap. And I agree hard work never hurt anyone. Thanks for another great post. You always get me thinking about relevant issues 🙂
PS- I hate to admit it but I do not remember that song:-(
Hey Lynne,
Wow, what a great lesson your learned when you when to Indiana. More people should have those situations so they’ll appreciate the live they have.
Thanks!
I know, Vonnie, and it really stuck with me. I don’t want to be judgmental but sometimes I think the cure for “woo-woo” thinking is a bit more hard work.
Personally, I can’t fathom having too much time on my hands! Not now, not in my past, and (I hope!) not in my future! You’re so right in saying there are way too many things we can do to become involved in our world — the lucky retired folks are the ones who have their wits, their health, and the get-up-and-go to participate. Bless you for taking such nurturing care of your mom when she needs you most!
We live in a 55+ community as well, and I’ve never seen a more active, connected group of people. Some of the women barely see over the steering wheel, but they are off to church, raising their voices in the senior singing group, doing tai chi, caring for others older than they are, playing the piano at the nursing home, doing taxes for free at the senior center. What we observe when a natural disaster occurs is the altruism, the bonding of a community. What I see in our age group is similar, minus the event. You’re spot on, Lynne. Taking your skills and caring outside tidies up the space inside as well.
“Tidies up the space inside.” A delightful thought, Linda! Thanks.