Don’t try to be young. Try to be you.
I woke up one morning and this phrase popped into my mind. It’s perfect, isn’t it?
Sometimes I think life is like junior high, where we struggle to find ourselves and fit in – or else we rebel, and that’s uncomfortable, too. The pressures to conform are intense.
But then you get older, and something happens. You feel more sure of yourself, more free to decide what you will put up with or won’t, what you will sacrifice and for whom, etc. And nobody (we can now say this with certainty and conviction) can tell us how to think. Because we have the gift of years. We know.
So find your own path, and enjoy the sound of your solitary footfalls on the warm ground. Inhale the fragrance of new growth. Turn your face to the sky, close your eyes, feel the sun. You are alive. You are blessed. You are on your own precious, one-of-a-kind path. Enjoy it.
Amen to that! These words of wisdom resonate throughout any stage of adulthood.
Thanks for waiting in, Nicky! It’s great to get the 30-something point of view.
Excellent advice. Thanks for John Denver, too. I’m singing along!
This seemed so appropriate for me today. Thank you for the encouraging words as I grapple with my final teaching/coaching year, ready to embark on “my own special, one of a kind path.”
I hope you’ll include this transition in your blog posts, Pat. I am fascinated by us making that change.
I’m listening to John Denver while I’m typing. A few tears dropping too, since this song touches the most tender spots in my heart (and always has). Like Prince, he died too, too young! Yes, I’m choosing my own path, alone and solitary, but I’m taking along the music I love to keep me company. Thank you, Lynne. This truly made my day!
Oh, I know. And the pictures in the video are so beautiful. I’ve been on that Blue Ridge Mountain Highway before and I can see how, if you were raised there, returning to that countryside would make you weep with love and nostalgia. One of my friends posted something about “why does the death of celebrities affect us so much, since we didn’t know them.” I think we’re saddened by what it reminds us of our old days, back when the celebrity was singing to us, and we weep with love and nostalgia for our own lives and times. What do you think, Diane? Why the tears in your case?
Love it! I’ve never been one to try to fit in or try to be something I’m not, EXCEPT, right after I retired from nursing. After so many years of rushing around, having my days planned down to the minute, and generally being a stressed , anal, type A, I decided I was going to be a relaxed, easy going, devil-may-care slacker. Um, not so much. I was more anxious and miserable than when I was working. That is just not me. Who I am made me a great nurse, what I had to do was find the happy medium between that stressed type A and a much more relaxed happy retired person. I’m still working on it but I am making progress, staying true to myself hopefully a better self.
Self-knowledge is one of the most valuable gifts of maturity, isn’t it? Thanks for sharing your story, Kris.
Thanks. Nice thought to start the day. I’d modify it slightly to “Don’t try to be young, just be you.” Rekindle, rediscover, reimagine.
Thanks for stopping by, Dennis. I like your three Rs.
John Denver…died at age 53…another music icon who never had the blessing of old age.
Your comparison to junior high is “on the money” for the midlife transition. Our body goes through uncontrollable changes. As we change physically, we may find ourselves on an emotional roller coaster as well. Socially, we begin to notice changes in our friends…especially when we retire. Many of our “work relationships” become stretched too thin to survive by the lack of regular contact. Just like adolescents, we either make the transition to the next level of maturity or we stay stuck…”arrested development” is more than a TV program.
Sue, I just got back from that midlife conference, where the attendee demographic skewed younger than me (I’d say most in their 40s), and I spoke passionately about the good part of aging. But now I’m just kinda struck by the self-evidence of it. Like, why do we even have to mine the research to find reasons to be grateful? Aren’t we just plain grateful? I think I might be moving into another phase of mental development. Poor Prince. Still such a kid, with so much more to do.
You mentioned, Lynne, that the “demographic skewed younger” than you at the midlife conference. (THAT was the time in my life when I was trying to figure out how to approach, consider and embrace aging.) Your positive “presence” in their midst was a “present” for them. That you “spoke passionately about the good part of aging” is exactly what women at midlife need to hear. “Mining the research” is DOing…”Aren’t we just plain grateful?” is BEing…which goes back to the title of this post…”BE you.” We are human BEings…not human DOings.
Thanks, Sue. I value your thought process and emotional support.
You’re welcome, Lynne. I value your observations and thought provoking posts. Having spent 38.5 years working with middle school students as they navigated the tumultuous transition of that part of life, has given me a heart and passion to mentor younger women who are “navigating the tumultuous transition” of midlife. I applaud all women who reach out and reach back to assist or “give a helping hand” to those who may benefit from the positive wisdom and guidance and modeling we can share from this vantage point in life.