V. Putin by Sculptor Sherry Cavan
After a career as a social science professor, Sherri Cavan became a sculptor post-retirement. Her Vladimir Putin trio above was meant to illustrate three kinds of power – the Fool, who gains power through his antics; the Predator, obvious; and the Beauty Queen, who seduces.
Sherri and I met last March on a cruise ship. She was doing Tai Chi, alone on the darkened dance floor on Deck 14. Unbeknownst to her, I was lurking in a corner of the bar, tapping away on my laptop. When she finished, I introduced myself and asked about Tai Chi. She said she’d started for the health benefits. Same with sculpting, to exercise her right brain. We talked for almost an hour. I was entranced by her energy.
Smiling an impish grin, she leaned toward me. “Do you want to know how old I am?”
I said, “Yes, but I’m too shy to ask.”
She was seventy-five, and I could tell she was proud of it, a model of confidence and joie de vivre in older age. I wanted what she was having.
As we began our goodbyes, she said she’d recently learned to play the ukulele. For a woman cruising alone this was a cool way to socialize, as uke players tend to bring their instruments on trips. She’d jammed with a group on the beach in Waikiki a few days earlier. After I got home I saw an article about how ukulele is hot right now.
I loved Sherri’s wit, humor and curiosity. If she wanted to know something, she went out and learned it. I felt drawn to her aliveness. Sherri is exceptional, but she represents a wave of change in regard to aging. My husband has made lots of friends on the tennis courts, men in their mid-seventies who are gourmet cooks, singers, world travelers, speakers, writers, and government activists. Remember how we used to see old people when we were young? Here’s a reminder: the lyrics to Old Friends by Simon and Garfunkel. They wrote it as young men in 1968.
Old friends, old friends sat on their park bench like bookends
A newspaper blowin’ through the grass
Falls on the round toes of the high shoes of the old friends
Old friends, winter companions, the old men
Lost in their overcoats, waiting for the sun
The sounds of the city sifting through trees
Settles like dust on the shoulders of the old friends
Can you imagine us years from today, sharing a park bench quietly
How terribly strange to be seventy…
I wonder if we’re aging more slowly these days. Not just older people; on the other end of the age scale, young people seem to take longer to mature. Maybe it’s all the preservatives in our food. Better living through chemistry.
So many of us don’t stop and talk to a stranger–afraid we’ll interrupt them or intrude somehow. Good for you for introducing yourself to Ms. Cavan! I had a similar experience on a flight recently when I introduced myself to my seatmates. What an interesting couple! They told me they’d started a new hobby: diagramming sentences. Our conversation veered to books and authors, and I somehow never had a chance to find out more about their unusual hobby; but talking to them both was a joy. It made the flight seem shorter too.
I think that as long as we’re open to new experiences (and we’re able to stay healthy), we’re young–even if we do remember all the words to “Old Friends” as well as the haunting melody.
Sandy, I used to LOVE diagramming sentences! I learned it in Catholic elementary school. Took to it like a duck to water. Re strangers, I tend to be reclusive, but Sherri and I were the only ones there, and she knew I was there and did her Tai Chi anyway, so I felt I owed her a howdy do. Glad I did! Hope you are well and loving life.
Love this post Lynne! The V. Putin sculptures by Sherry Cavan are amazing (great photo). Again you have such a gentle writing voice.
Thanks, Heather. Meeting Sherri was a treat.
I still use a picture of myself taken 10 years ago for my newspaper column, is that age related? You bet, lack of maturity. So I conclude, if I am not mature, then I can’t be old. Don’t bring up denial.
Alone in my office, laughing out loud, Bob.
It’s harder when serious health problems begin to interfere with how we function in the world, but there is still much to live for and be grateful for.
Or almost anything else that’s powerfully negative, Joan. I know what you mean. Due to several health problems (hopefully, in the past now) that I suffered in early adulthood, I understand how it’s hard to float along atop Maslow’s hierarchy if you’re suffering. And psychological trauma can be debilitating too, like watching an adult child suffer through a divorce. At this age, hopefully we’ve got the tools to endure, and hopefully we’re not so beat up that we simply can’t deal with yet another setback. Damn, life can be a challenge.
Since I just turned the BIG Seven-O this year, I’m now contemplating what it means to be O L D. I know my kids treat me a bit differently, as if I need more help around the house…. which I’m not too crazy about at times, and at other times it’s welcome when my arthritic bones start to ache….my grand kids still treat me the same, poking fun at me and my now protruding belly, but it’s all in fun.
I was thinking about why we don’t feel as old as we actually are, or should feel; I see my doctors on a regular basis, just to have routine check-ups and blood drawn, but if I didn’t, I know I wouldn’t be feeling as good as I do. They’ve caught potentially harmful problems, and we’ve been able to correct them before they got out of hand. I’m grateful for medicare, offering me the medical treatment I need by wonderful, caring practitioners. I also try to eat the foods I should be eating, and staying away from the foods that are harmful. We’ve become a more aware society, and I think this has been a huge step in keeping me as healthy as possible.
And everybody else, Kathy. I think that awareness helps with longevity.
This is a lovely character study of someone who I strive to be. It’s interesting though about aging. Are we congratulating ourselves on being vibrant aging people in the same way that past generations of vibrant older people congratulated themselves? After all, there are many more of us Boomers, thus more to be vibrant. There are also many infirm in our generation…are we perhaps discounting them? I don’t know the answer to these questions, but I do wonder how much of what we think is just part of the perspective of whatever age we are. I think we still look old to the youngers. That’s what drives the invisibility discussions….. Another thought provoking post from one of my favorite writers. Thanks Lynne.
And thank you, Nanci, for your always thoughtful comments. BTW, I think you and Sherri are very similar. Sharp brains, brave, inquisitive.
Lynn, As soon as I read the title, I knew you were referring to Simon and Garfunkel. In kindergarten my best friend and I said we’d meet on a park bench when we’re 70. Now 70 is too young!
I would have loved to meet this remarkable woman. She shines in my eyes, and shows that women can do anything they set their minds to, and are extraordinary doing it, at any age. What a pearl.
Loved this post. Absolutely marvelous.
The ukelele, eh? I never would have thought of that!
Cathy, she and I were like two magnets that day on the ship – we couldn’t stop talking! I was invigorated by her energy and intellect. I seem to remember she said her work is in a gallery in San Francisco. What a life!
Nice…and, yes, I do believe we are “younger” these days….my hubby turns 72 in August. I see him more as a healthy, vibrant, active 50-something. And at 59 (well, next month, I’ll be 59) I feel more like someone in her later 30s or early 40s. There was a time when 70 was old. Now? Naw. Babies still.
I turned 59 last month Peggy and I have never been happier or more excited. I also feel very strong mentally. See you Monday at Colonial!!!
YAY! You’re joining us? I have missed you so much. Glad you will be with us. I really should send you the first few chapters of Scorched so you will know where I am. What are you writing these days? Or….do I get to be surprised on Monday?
I think it is wonderful to see our generation aging with a new joy of living. Of course there are still many of us struggling with new financial concerns at an age where we should no longer have to worry about such things. I hope it is not the preservatives that are keeping us young (I am sure that was tongue in cheek) because I avoid them like the plague. 🙂
Laura
Tongue firmly planted in cheek, Laura 😉