Do you ever wish you could find a way to savor the moment more deeply? I know a powerful trick for doing just that.
The patios at Cottonwood Cove
Last Friday I wrote of spending a few days with Bill at Cottonwood Cove. I was excited about going there, not only because it’s a sentimental place for us, but also, because of the solitude and privacy. It’s pretty remote, and since it was late September, we thought no one else would be there, but the place was packed and noisy.
The next day, we returned from our boat picnic to find almost everyone had gone home. I was in heaven. Quiet is something I seek and appreciate constantly. (I’ll sometimes go out on my patio between 10 and 11 a.m. to savor it.) Mom taught me this. All us kids remember her saying, on those camping trips to the desert or mountains, so many years ago, “Oh! Listen to the quiet!”
View from the patio
So there we were, on our patio, looking out at the beach and marina, having finished a game of backgammon and enjoying a beer. The quiet was amazing.
I told Bill I felt so sentimental. To explain just how much, I said this, and this is the essence of the “trick:”
“I pretend it’s very late in my life, and I’m wishing so hard that I could go back and spend a day with you. Suddenly, I am transported. Somehow, I get to step back in time 30 years, and relive a moment – this moment. That’s where I am now. Back. And so grateful.”
In Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl says we should live each moment as if for the second time, wherein we recognize that we messed it up the first time around and now have a chance to return to the moment and do it right.
Frankl may have influenced me in my mindfulness trick, but there’s another explanation. When I was forty, I was returning to my job, six weeks after major surgery. It was a cool spring morning. Everyone was inside, working. Next door, the elementary school playground was silent, because the school day had begun. Everybody was going about their routine–without me.
Yet, there I was, given another chance to walk back inside my building and return to the comfort of my life. I felt almost as if I were returning from the dead, because if you’ve had scary surgery, and experienced that resignation, that alone-feeling of looking at your loved ones before going into the OR and thinking, “oh, well. See you in the next life,” you know what I mean. But now I had the opportunity to go back to my beloved world. Can you imagine my gratitude?
So that’s what I do now. I imagine I’m way, way in the future, but I get to come back right now to this very moment and appreciate it fully, deeply, and with the most intense gratitude. Try it. Let me know what happens.
Lynne – thank you so much for sharing this. It made me remember a trick I’ve done since early childhood. I’ve often taken special moments as they were happening and firmly place them in my mind, along with the sounds, the smells and how I am feeling, so that I can recall those moments later in my life. I’m so glad I did this. I can recall those wonderful moments of bliss and love whenever I want them and am transported back in time to relive them. Such a gift!
Indy, your strategy underlies the truth that the brain recalls a thing based on how much emotion it’s tagged with. No emotion = no memory. So if you’re stamping a memory with all those sensory + emotional tags, no wonder you can recall them! Good thinking.
Hi, Lynne. Thank you for sharing such beautiful sentiments and wonderful insight. Very Buddhist-like, to me. It’s so simple and sensible, yet something so incomprehensibly hard for us to remind ourselves to do sometimes. I’m going to share this post with my friends.
i appreciate it, Jim. Great to hear from you! Hope you are well.
There is something so restorative about the sound of water and it so important to listen to the stillness. Thanks for the great strategy of how to stay in the moment and appreciate the now.
My pleasure, Pat. Thanks for commenting.
Thank you for sharing your mindfulness technique, and, V. Frankl’s.
They are super effective ways to stay in the moment!
Thanks for stopping by, Terry.
Lynne, what an interesting idea. I do something that is kind of the opposite. Yesterday was a near perfect fall day here, sunny, not to hot, not to cool. The leaves are changing colors (we have a couple trees in our backyard that are beautiful orange). I stopped for a moment, made myself aware of it and thought “remember this day in a couple of months when it is freezing and snowing.”
Made me go out in the yard and take a long, deep breath of the fantastic Fall air.
Cheryl, that makes me happy, to read that. Thanks for sharing.
Lynne…That blog post is a WOW! Thank you for sharing your secret. Very insightful. I will be sharing your post with my friends. The book is on my “to read” list.
Thank you, Sunny. That means a lot coming from you. I know you are a very mindful person.
I love the idea of time-traveling in the present. It’s almost like being able to experience special moments twice at the same time. How great is that?
And it definitely enriches the experience of the moment. Thanks for commenting, Janis.
“Staying in the moment” has been challenge I have attempted to experience and embrace since I was in my early 20’s. I began teaching 8th grade English at the ripe, old age of 22. The song ANTICIPATION by Carly Simon was popular at the time, and the “message” resonated with me. I remember cutting out large construction paper letters to post some of the lyrics on the wall of my classroom…”Stay right here ’cause these are the good old days.”
I knew I was creating memories…and so were my students.
Sue, that resonates! Because I’ve always been very aware that these ARE the good old days. As soon as today gets burnished with nostalgia, I’ll pine for it in retrospect. Another great strategy or trick for being present and mindful!
I love this entry! Thank you!! Beautiful. Timely!
Thanks for saying so, Jan. When I told Bill what I was feeling, on the patio at the cove, we both got choked up. I hadn’t ever said it before out loud or to myself. It wasn’t fully articulated until just then. But what a great tool.
I love this post! There are so many times I’ve tried to savor a moment but then I overthink it and the moment is gone. I will remember this!
I’m glad it was helpful, Nicky. (Thanks for coming by and commenting. Any future comments will go up instantly – you won’t have to go through the approval process again.) For anyone reading this comment, Nicky is a very talented freelance writer, her schedule just freed up for new clients, and her blog is here: https://whileyoureliving.wordpress.com/
Love this, Lynne! Thank you for sharing this tip. I think it’s a great strategy for those cranky moments…nothing like a whoosh of gratitude to clear ’em away.
Roxanne, I loved that Frankl said what he said, but even more, this strategy is the silver lining of having been through a couple of surgeries in my younger life. Thanks for coming by.