I just read a great article about Dr. Bill Thomas, who’s bringing so much energy to the debate on how to age well in the 21st century.
He says:
In the first camp are the “denialists,” who collectively pump billions into “age-defying” products, pretending old age won’t happen to them. “Realists” are in the second camp. They don’t deny aging but hope that between lots of kale, yoga, and active living, they won’t have to deal with it for a while. In the third camp are “enthusiasts,” people like Thomas and Applewhite, who actively embrace aging, acknowledging its beauty and possibilities, as well as its potential challenges.
Whenever I call myself a positive aging writer/thinker/blogger, I worry that people think it means I advocate facelifts, etc. Maybe in the future I’ll change it to “aging enthusiast,” because that describes it better. The rest of the article, written by Sally Fox, is here.
What about you? Are you a denialist, a realist, or an enthusiast?
How do you see this – as a flower or a weed?
Saw Dr. Bill Thomas and Ashton Applewhite speak here in Michigan on his first “Second Wind Tour” just about three years ago. I had read his book before attending. I didn’t understand then why he wrote negatively about the concepts of Stephen Covey’s book….THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE. (Covey’s book is one of my all-time favorites, and even though I asked Dr. Thomas about his references to it, he didn’t give me a clear answer. The 7 HABITS have had a very positive impact on how I got to be where I AM today.) That being said…I AM AN ENTHUSIAST! I have been “prepping to get old” since my mid-forties. My mom died when I was 35…she was two months shy of her 62nd birthday. Then one of my sisters-in-law died at age 46. Those deaths helped me to embrace a positive regard for my life. I began reading every book I could get my hands on regarding positive aging. For me the best book (and one of FEW books) at that time written on the subject was FROM AGE-ING TO SAGE-ING written by a Rabbi…Zalman Schachter. I “gleaned” ideas from his book that I began incorporating in my life, like movement, meditation, life review, gratitude and journaling. They have all had big payoffs at this stage in life. I love my life now at age 67. I AM in that “harvest” stage of life that Reb Zalman predicted. I AM enjoying the fruit of the seeds I planted long ago.
Thanks to you I bought From Age-ing to Sage-ing and it is at the top of my “to read” pile. As to BT’s negative comments about Covey, it may have been a ploy to garner attention in his earlier days. The only thing I can think of that could remotely be negative about Covey is his emphasis on productivity, which is a measure by which we negate older people sometimes. But Covey also spoke about the need for downtime/renewal, Sharpening the Saw. I am sorry for the losses you suffered, Sue, but sometimes the greatest heartache produces great learning and growth. I wouldn’t be who I am today had it not been for some of the same.
Hi, Lynne —
While I think the three groups pretty much sum up prevailing attitudes, and I join you in cultivating the “enthusiast” approach, I have to heave a great, rueful sigh when it comes to this hoopla about the Boomers. I’m a War Baby, 1942, just a shade too old to be a Boomer, and I’ve spent a lifetime watching that bubble grab attention just because of its size. Aging has not arrived on the planet just because the Boomers are doing it! I also take issue with Dr. Thomas’s assessment of their progress in three streams, as hippies, activists, and squares. First of all, there were bohemians, progressives, and conservatives long before they showed up. And second of all, I saw a river, not three streams: From my vantage point, when Boomers were young and wanted a life of drugs, sex, and rock and roll, they took it. And when they aged out and wanted a life of money and power, they took that. Along the way, they grabbed credit for the work of their elders, The leaders of the Feminist Movement, for instance, were older than I am! And now Boomers are going to lay claim to creating enthusiastic aging? Really? Just look at all the enthusiasts well into their 70s, 80s, 90s, even 100s that are already leading the way in life and in the posts we’ve featured in our Facebook group, Speaking of “Old.” It’s a bit like Columbus “discovering” America when there were already plenty of people here, don’t you think? Boomers, you are certainly welcome to join us in the vintagehood, but, please, take a moment to note that you are not the first to arrive.
Sandy, I’m a Boomer but they drive me crazy, too. In particular I’m pissed off that we Boomers sold out once we got older. Okay, I’m going to generalize liberally here: We used to be the open-minded, generous people. Now so many of us are selfish and warlike. And you are so right about the “laying claim” mentality, although in their defense most age groups – until they get old and smart anyway – think they invented air. Regardless of Thomas’ approach, he makes so many great points. It was because of him, for example, that I realized how much we assess the worth of older people by how closely they emulate youth. And the unintentional ageism inherent in the word “still,” as in, “she STILL wears makeup!” or “he STILL goes to the gym!” Thanks for weighing in. Fantastic Facebook page, BTW! For those of you who haven’t discovered “Speaking of Age,” you should check it out: https://www.facebook.com/groups/536686536531696/
HI Lynne,
Victoria Marshall here, publisher and editor of 3rd Act Magazine. Thank you for calling attention to our article on your blog! Wonderful, honest, comments here too! Just a quick correction; the article was written by Sally Fox, who interviewed Bill Thomas for the piece.
Thanks for the correction, Victoria. I’ll fix that now. Glad you stopped by.
I only know that, at eighty, I feel free and relaxed to just be myself. When I was young, I tried to please everyone, look the way they wanted me to look (Southern lady) and act accordingly. Now I don’t even think about those things and consequently am more able to enjoy whatever is good in my life. Deal with problems when they arise but not worry about them beforehand. My daily goal is to live in the moment (which includes writing on my new book).
I have heard that that equanimity is a gift of the second half, Libby.
Lynne, part of me says, “Be in Camp #3—That’s where all of the enlightened people are!” But part of me refuses to budge from Camp#2…So I guess that’s where I’ll be for a while, firmly in the middle!
Hi Lynne! I think you know that I’m an enthusiast! I completely feel that there are many benefits to being my age (61) and that I am looking forward to the future. I believe most of us have the choice to either thrive or diminish and I’m doing all I can to thrive. Thanks for the reminder. ~Kathy
My pleasure, Kathy. Love your attitude.
I’m in the enthusiastic realist group. I know it’s happening, but it’s not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I’m 70, in good health (with the aid of several pills), have an interesting second career, and the sun is shining. Life is good. Maybe we should have this talk in another five years.
Dennis, according to the “happiness u-curve”, you’ll just be more enthusiastic! I like your designator, BTW: “enthusiastic realist.” That might be my new one.
I’m a realist….I’m really gonna turn 60 this year! I don’t go all overboard with anti-aging stuff. And I earned every one of these grey hairs!! No hair coloring for me either. It still bugs me that I can’t spring up off the floor like I used to, though.
Karen, I used to try to avoid any bad stuff. Then I realized it would happen anyway. So now I celebrate the good and try to save up the memories for when it’s bad. Like when I got a cold sore on my eyelid. (“What fresh hell is THIS!?”) We have to keep laughing.
I’d say I’m more in Box Number 3, but don’t we all have a bit of magical thinking from Box 2.? I’m just trying to take a day at a time and enjoying each moment. Thanks for the introduction to this interesting article and your continuing work in this area.
Hello from a golfing trip to Sedona…. part of life enjoyment😎
Golf! Sedona! Two of my favorite things!! Their courses are ethereal. I didn’t know you golfed?
Great question, Lynne! I think I’ve got a foot in both the realist and enthusiast camps–and probably will remain that way for the foreseeable future. I’ve got Dr. Bill Thomas’ book on my nightstand (haven’t yet dived in)–maybe that’ll change my view?
I think he’s onto something, Roxanne! Let us know what you think of his book.