Are you a lazy writer? Do you bore your reader? Yeah, I’m callin’ you out.
At my last critique group, somebody read a chapter about a young woman’s first morning on a cruise ship. The girl is “stunned” by the spread at the breakfast banquet. She and her friend have coffee, then breakfast, then walk a couple of laps around the ship. When they come back to their room to find housekeeping has “worked magic,” by cleaning the place, they’re enthralled.
The critique group wasn’t.
Because there was nothing noteworthy about it. If you’ve ever been to Vegas, you’ve seen buffets the size of a football field. If you’ve ever stayed in a hotel, you’ve experienced the joy of coming back to a clean room. Those things aren’t stunning or magical.
The writer described what happened on her last cruise. That’s what she knew, so that’s what she wrote. Sure, it was pleasant and maybe even wonderful. However, the reader, having paid actual cash money for this book, will expect to be entertained. Better to describe something less common, like the sky walk on the Royal Princess.
Listen, you can’t dazzle the reader with the regular things she does already. Unless there’s a metaphor buried somewhere within an everyday setting, cut it. Nobody wants to read, “She got out of her car and approached the steps. Her fingers turned the key, and the lock clicked. The door opened. She stepped inside. It was good to be home after a long day at work.”
Write what isn’t commonplace. Write what hasn’t happened to you. Write what you don’t know.
Write about being sixty years old and mad enough at your ex-husband to try climbing that fricken rock wall of the ship. About trying the surf simulator. About hanging from a zip line. If you’ve never done it, don’t worry. Somebody has, and they put it on YouTube.
Make your character bad, badder than yourself. Don’t make her act like you — polite, rules-following, tax-paying you — make her act in a way that thrills you and the reader. Have her take a risk, or make an unethical decision, something you wouldn’t do in real life. People don’t buy books to get a replay of their own mundane normalcy. Readers want to live in an alternate universe, where the bad guy not only gets punched, but the reader gets to feel her fist break his nose.
As a writer, you get to live vicariously through your characters. Do you want to populate your stories with your plain old everyday self? Instead, make it you, only better/badder: a bit larcenous, less tactful, more sexy. It’s more fun to write, and it’s what readers want. Not a chick who swoons at the sight of the Horizon Buffet.
So go ahead. Have your gal take that sky walk on the Royal Princess. Without panties. I dare you.
Haha! Great points! 😀
The more I write, the more I require of my reading. It needs to be simple and extraordinary if I’m going to take the time to read it, but that’s really how writing SHOULD BE. And while I would never allow myself to be bombarded by the chaos and overdose of stimulation offered by a cruise, I would CERTAINLY consider going for a walk without panties. Maybe I’ll even climb a tree… 😉
Thanks,Ash! I like what you said about the more you write, the higher are your expectations of other writers. At this point in my life, I’ve learned enough about writing that I can see the weaknesses in other books. It’s neat to understand what makes a good book. And hard to write it, but still, the work is so uplifting! All in all, we’re richer for it.
One of our hospital nurses just returned from climbing in the Himalayas. Wonderful pictures and videos. I asked, “Did you sleep in a tent:” “Yes,” was her response. “What did you have for bathrooms” “Outside,” she said. I lost interest. At least in going. She amazed me. As we departed I thought she thought that this guy (me) could have been impressed over a lot of the trip’s events, but this? It would have been a lousy date. It was not. I am happily married to a woman who prefers the Marriott over Himalayan hiking. At least I think so. Maybe I should ask. I have been lazy.
Me, too. A year or so ago, my friend invited me to go to Viet Nam with her for a bicycle tour. I declined, but I was excited for her. When she came back, she had nice stories about pedaling through the heat and humidity, and sleeping on rudimentary beds. I admire her for doing it, but I would’ve been crippled up from it. (Another friend and his wife had this after-work repartee: “What do you want to make for dinner?” “Reservations.”)
So good!! And so true!!! When we read we want to be transported from our lives, not reminded of the mundane parts of it. You hit the nail on the head but I think I will keep my panties on for the sky walk.
Me, too! But my characters might not.
Hahaha!
lordy, you’re spot on…I’m too nice when I describe that son of a bitch…I’m doing a rewrite about him…Thanks…love it…Dan
Oh, yeah, Dan, let him have it! Remember, vicarious.
Lynne – This blog hits home with the writers in the age group of your expected followers, and it should inform the younger ones, as well. Sometimes, a memoir is written as a remembrance of activities, without expanding thought to the effect of the happenings. Your point that readers should experience the reaction, whether they have ever attempted the same, is a bottom-line to what governs interest. Young writers must insure that activities (plot solutions) generate excitement. Love your writing, Lynne.
Thanks for encouraging me to start doing the writing posts on Tuesdays, Bob. I’m having a blast!
Oh Lynne, this is wonderful! You make me laugh out loud but I am listening very carefully to your words of wisdom, glued to your words and nodding my head while reading. One thing I remember that helps is me in my writing is keeping in mind that the reader needs a way to get into the scene and you nailed it with your descriptions. Write raw. Write real. Love it!
Thanks for being on this journey with me, Kathy. We’re learning together!