Happy New Year! Remember I promised to get back to you on forming new habits in 2014? Good news: I found something that resonates.
According to The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, you can’t expect to completely erase old habits. Give up on that, because they are hard-wired into your brain. Habits are developed as an evolutionary tool to conserve brain energy. Once you learn to do something on cue, you don’t have to think. In survival terms, that’s good, because it allows you to then focus on other things, like not getting devoured by a sabertooth.
That’s why habits, once established, are darn hard to break. Duhigg says it’s smarter to let the habit continue, but just replace certain harmful elements with good ones. Here’s the habit chain: you perceive a cue, which sets up a craving, which results in you following a routine that leads to a reward. The only part of this chain you can change is the routine. If you replace an old routine with a new one, you’re golden. Your brain is fooled, it’s happy, and the habit will stick.
To use myself as an example, remember I said I crave a glass of wine in midafternoon? At about two o’clock, my energy flags. After working all day, I want to relax, usually with a glass of wine on the patio with my husband. But then I feel less energetic, I eat more, and I don’t sleep as well. Still, it’s a hard habit to break.
Using Duhigg’s program, here’s the new routine:
- Cue: 2:00 pm (party time)
- Routine: caffeinated tea and snacks on the patio with my honey
- Reward: sociability, relaxation, a buzz
For almost two weeks I’ve substituted tea for wine, and it seems to be working. By the time the tea is gone, so is the craving. Bonus: the buzz I’m feeling is about caffeine-induced real energy, so I get more done in the evenings. I think this “replace the routine” idea has legs. How cool to think we might be able to overcome our old bad habits by simply out-thinking them.
So consider trying it. You can also find out more at Duhigg’s website, The Power of Habit.
Enjoy your weekend!
I like your example of a habit you changed; good to know it can be done.
Thanks, Terra.
I read that book and also found it quite helpful. Not sure I am light years ahead, but I am started on my book too. You, two, me one. I have a new editor, mentor, and have hopes of completing another draft by April. I still think you could blog more often….after the book is done.
I did a holiday detox from Jan 5 – 7 which was: no caffeine (just about blew my head off!), no sugar, and no alcohol, among other things. I found that the taste for wine at ‘happy hour’ was diminished once I finished and I could actually have the wine. One glass last Wednesday and a couple today. Also, saw numerous newscasts recently saying how excess alcohol leads to breast cancer. Seems like a good reason to me to cut back on how often I have a glass (or two).
I had heard that about wine and breast cancer. It increases your risk considerably.
Happy New Year, Lynne! I really like this reasonable approach to changing a bad habit–pick your battles carefully and handle in manageable doses. Little changes can make a big difference and can make behavior do-able. Onward, one little step at a time!
Exactly, Kathy, I am such an incrementalist. Happy new year to you, too!
Excellent substitution. But isn’t wine “good for us?” Just kidding. . .
It’s good for me! But just not that early in the day. Bummer.
Congratulations on working to change your afternoon wine habit, and for starting the sequel to Dakota Blues too. Both are important beginnings, and you should be proud of yourself for taking those first steps. I tend to get hungry around 4:30 in the afternoon, even though I know it won’t be that long until I eat dinner. Lately I’ve been trying to remember to drink a big glass of ice water instead of reaching for a snack, but sometimes I have a slice of cheese or some crackers in my hand before I even realize what I’m doing! Maybe a bright orange sticky note on the refrigerator will serve as a reminder to back off.
Or get that stuff out of the house. Before I met my husband, I never had ice cream in the house. Now I have a bowl every night. Grrrr.
great post…when i stopped drinking the first thing i did in a social situation or at home over cocktails was have my ‘cocktail’ in a wine glass. even when we are out to dinner when the wine and glasses come to the table there is a glass for me for either my water or soda water.
my cocktail of choice is…wine glass, soda water and a spash of grapefruit juice with a lemon or lime slice. and presto…i am ready to party..
one bad habit down, many more to go!
thanks again Lynne, you are always a great read.
kate
I like it, Kate. Very elegant. Isn’t it interesting that the brain will allow us to do such substitutions?
Interesting variation on my process of “taking the mind off the subject (the habit one wants to break) by attending to something else.” In your example, I’d switch from paying attention to the two o’clock pattern(and thereby feeding and reinforcing it) to focusing on what I want to accomplish at 5 or 6 PM. In the process, the opportunity to alter what I do between two and five presents itself – very possibly with the idea of drinking a stimulant rather than a relaxer.
By either route – well done!
The stimulant – caffeine – is enough of an attraction that it mitigates the “pain” of not having that nice little glass of wine…because I WANT to be productive later in the evening. So you are right, Chela! Thanks.
I too am an early bird – with incredible energy that seems to evaporate by 3PM…I’m not sure where I need to change the cycle, but this is really good for for thought (and I’m thrilled that you’re working on a sequel).
Mimi, we’re on the same time schedule. (I’m typing this at 4:50 a.m., up by choice.) And thanks for your kind words about the sequel. I’m actually doing 3 books as a follow up to Dakota Blues, so we’ll follow Karen for a few more years.
Good for you. Here is to you for keeping it up, and hoping that it lasts throughout the year. I like the fact that you say you have more energy later in the day.
All the best for 2014.
Thanks so much, Elizabeth. The best to you as well.
hanks. I have to stop taking sips of wine cooler to relax. I have to find a substitute I guess.
Shalilah, I have a glass of water with a straw on the kitchen counter all day long. I sip it every time I walk by it. Seems to help. It’s not about the substance, I don’t think. It might be about the motion. Like smokers need a cigarette in their hands.
Thank you so much.
Can’t wait to read the sequel. Some experts say it take 21 days to change a habit. I think that has been true for me.
Thanks, Linda. I’ve heard that too, about the 21 days. I figure, if I do this for another 2 weeks I’ll know if it’s true! Very exciting.
Actually…disliked “picturing” YOU in the “d-word”…you deserve so much better! 🙂
(How’s that for avoiding the REAL topic here…namely MY bad habits?)
Sue, avoidance is a time honored strategy, too!
When I gave up drinking many years ago, I substituted ginger ale for my 5pm beverage. For me it was the sugar…as long as I had some in my system at the bewitching hour, I felt great…& not interested in alcohol. I still pop open a gingerale @ 5….:)
So you are proof, Marla! Er, perhaps “proof” is the wrong word. Anyway, validation. Thanks.
Dislike the word “dungeon”…how about “sanctuary of creative pursuits and productivity”…or something similar?
I was being my normal smart-mouth self. U R right.
I must try altering some habits. Thanks for the heads up and how-to. 😀
My pleasure!
😀
What?!!! The personal trainer at the gym told me yesterday that at “my age,” I’m basically stuck with what I’ve got. Now, I’m not complaining, I look pretty good “for my age,” if I do say so myself. However, I’d like a little more tone in the backside and on the underside of my arms, and want a more toned belly. He did say I could get stronger, but basically be grateful for what I have.
Now, you’re telling me I can’t break a habit. What? I LOVE chocolate. I’m suffering from the dreaded C(andida), which means, no freaking chocolate.
For the past week I’ve looked at a piece of dark dove chocolate on the table and in spite of any change in routine, in spite of all the cues to eat it, I haven’t touched it. No, that’s not true. I have touched it. Fondled it. Gazed at it. But, dammit, I have not eaten it. BTW…I deliberately left it on the table. Have I broken a habit? Probably not. At the first sign that I’ve conquered the dreaded C (for the umpteenth time in my life, which will give you a clue) I’ll be back to the chocolate.
So, perhaps I should read the book!!
Looking forward to the sequel!! Happy writing.
Oh, no, Martha, I don’t want to bum you out! Chocolate may be in a special category, due the its truly addictive qualities. But damn, girl, you are strong. You will do whatever your health requires. I figured out I can beat nighttime acid reflux if I finish dinner and stop eating three hours before bedtime. THAT’s kind of hard, but the reward is I don’t get those horrible symptoms. Maybe that’s an incentive that will work for you, too. Not suffering. Being healthier. Good luck and best wishes!
I like this idea—just correct a piece of the habit. Now I have to think of some habits I want to change besides my wife’s. lol
Hey, Humor, there’s always the neighbors.