Any Shiny Thing - Life after 50

Midlife Fiction

I Love More Magazine, BUT…

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I love More magazine, and I love More.com, their online version. They’ve been nice enough to publish several of my articles, including my favorite, Technology for Mummies. However, I have a bone to pick with the nice peeps at More: why the obsession with everything younger? Here are some recent headlines:

All-New! Is Your Closet Too Old?

Look Who’s Made Our 10 Sexiest Stars List Now

84 Don’t-Miss Hair Styling Tips, Tricks & Products

101 Ways to Fight Belly Fat

Let me ask you this: if you read the above headlines, how would you know you weren’t reading Glamour or Cosmo? The original mission of the magazine was to appeal to mature women, let’s say right around middle-age and better, but lately it seems we’re drifting more toward the younger market. I know that More asks readers all the time for input, so I should be talking with them, right? And I will, right after this. But for now, here’s my request: can you please help us feel satisfied if we’re 56 and look it (like me)? Sure, I wish I didn’t have impending TurkeyNeck, but I’d rather read an uplifting article about kicking butt in middle age than finding a sexy high-collared shirt or the right plastic surgery to help me look younger. What do you think?

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It’s Been Two Weeks Since My Last Confession

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…and I feel terrible about having deserted you! The truth is, I’m not just a writer. I’m a mother, daughter, wife, board member, etc. I’m prepping my preso for a luncheon speaking engagement, and – but stop. My dad used to say, “Any excuse is a good excuse,” usually just before giving all us four kids the belt over some altercation. Yes, this was in the day when spanking was considered good parenting. But Dad meant that the only thing that mattered was performance. I grew up with that ethic, so – no excuses!

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How’s That Kindle Thing Workin’ for Ya?

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I brought it home, played with it for a while but then put it back in the box and went to bed, my heart heavy with buyer’s remorse. I envisioned this pathetic electronic toy sitting alone on the denuded shelves of the bookcase in my office. Why would I want to read a book with no beautiful cover enticing me as to the contents therein? I planned to send it back.

But by midmorning the next day I was in love with it. Well, not completely – more like I was in love with the potential. It sort of reminds me of the first laptop I had, in the mid-90’s (yes, smart ass, back in the Paleolithic). Of course DOS was a real yuck compared to Windows, but back then it was pretty cool largely because it was all we had.

So, this Kindle, for which I paid three hundred bucks, is pretty easy to read on, it’s smaller than holding a newspaper or book on your lap, especially on a plane, which is where I gave it an early and major test run. It’s real portable, holds a charge for a long time, and you can read it in bright sunlight. I read a book for a while, then switched to the NY Times when I got tired of fiction. The only real drawback is that other peeps want to ask you about it. Also, the fact that almost as soon as I pressed “BUY” on Amazon, Sony and everybody else shoveled their own versions of Kindle out the door. How long will it be before I wish I had one of the new ones?

I especially like that I can usually access a newspaper via Amazon’s Whispernet even if there’s no Internet connection for my laptop. So I pay 75 cents for that day’s NY Times, and I can take it anywhere and read it for as long as I want.

Bummer aspects: primitive graphics, navigation reminds me of the days before they invented the mouse or touchpad (it’s all, essentially, up, down and sideways-moving arrows). I can’t tell what page I’m on (section 3145 doesn’t mean anything), and even tho you can bookmark and make notes while you’re reading, if you want to flip back to that page where you remember seeing a clever phrase or the first appearance of the hideous murderer, based simply on your memory that it was about a third of the way thru the book, on the left-hand page up near the top – forget it. Just forget it.

Bottom line: I like it, and when Amazon improves it (color, better graphics, better navigation) I’ll buy the new one, too.

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Don’t Make These Fiction Mistakes

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For my memoir-writing friends (and everybody else who’s learning to write fiction), here’s a useful post: Your No. 1 Challenge if You’re Writing Memoir by Jane Friedman.

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Even a Bad Conference Can Make You a Better Writer

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Elizabeth Sims , writer, editor at Writer’s Digest and teacher, wrote a great article about this, and since it’s not yet online, she gave me permission to quote her liberally. I’ve been to a number of hideously-bad conferences, and it’s kind of fun to know that such an accomplished woman has too. The difference is, she’s figured out how to wring meaning from even the worst ones. The following tips should help you survive future confabs, should you be so unlucky:

  1. Yes, it’s true: agents can be jerks. But maybe your manuscript really does need work.
  2. Although it’s important to be receptive and unfettered at a conference, keep a little skepticism handy. Writing is the only thing that matters. If you find yourself in a crappy session, leave. Find a better one.
  3. After watching a sadistic presenter make fools of everybody in the room, Elizabeth realized she could benefit from observing such people. I do this too. Whenever I am forced to overhear a really juicy cellphone conversation, or if I witness bad behavior, I think one word to myself:  “material.”  I ease my little notebook out of my purse and start scribbling.
  4. When confronted with an uncomfortable situation, don’t resist it. Study it. Listen closely. It’s excellent first-person fodder for your writing.
  5. When disappointed by a speaker, try to analyze why. After all, it could be you up there one day. I have a list of what to do and what to avoid on that glorious day in the future when I get to be the gal behind the podium.
  6. Entering your writing in a contest is one of the most courageous things you can do, but remember that contest judges possess their own unique tastes and biases. The label “best” is a subjective one.
  7. Going to a conference can be a lonely experience, but there’s always somebody more miserable than you. Figure out how much whiskey you think you’ll need, and then pack double that amount.

More tips for making the most of any conference:

  1. Arrive early to scope out everything, get comfortable and make friends.
  2. Before you leave, make a mission statement: “At this conference I intend to learn how to …”
  3. If your writing is being critiqued, be open and receptive. Never argue or try to justify anything.
  4. Don’t be judgmental, easily offended or needy. It’s not about you – it’s about your writing.

ELIZABETH SIMS (elizabethsims.com) is a contributing editor of Writer’s Digest the author of the Rita Farmer mysteries (The Extra, The Actress) as well as the Lambda Award-winning Lillian Byrd mysteries.

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Frances Flynn Thorsen Breaks It Down for Us

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In my last post, I asked a bunch of questions about how to manage my time re social networking, and how to get the best outcome for my SN efforts. Frances Flynn Thorsen is an expert in this, and was good enough to send me a comprehensive response, below: 

Me: Where should I concentrate my efforts? Does your answer change if I’m an attorney, or a physical therapist, or run a housecleaning business?

FFT: There are core sites for each of these, including #1 LinkedIn (professional networking), #2 Facebook (engagement), #3 Twitter (“listening” and research) …. additional platforms selected to job and niche market(s).

Me: Should all businesses be networking online, and if so, how much and where?

FFT: Yes. There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Initially, select a very limited number of sites and go DEEP. Do not go wide too early.

Me: What strategy, what array of networks, will most effectively yield that customer base?

FFT: The answer to that question depends upon the profession. The three sites I mentioned work across the board to start.

Me: Am I wasting my time on the “community forum” type nets?

FFT: You are not wasting your time there if you have the right tenor and the right approach. Hard sell never works. Sharing works everywhere. Community forum sites and Q&A sites are excellent places to engage. You want to weigh all your options, however, and leverage your presence in places where there is high traffic and significant engagement.

Me: Is Facebook mostly good for family and pics of your grandkids, but not so much for business?

FFT: Facebook has business pages (fan pages) and advertising solutions. There is a delicate balance between personal and business use on profile pages.

Me: Is Twitter better for this? Where should I be spending my time?

FFT: Twitter is good for listening, timed broadcasts, limited engagement. Twitter is very valuable and if you feel like you are floundering there and wasting time, you are! Spend time where you know you are making valuable connections.

Me: If I want to make my posts, tweets, etc. more efficient, is there anything better than Ping for similtaneous postings?

FFT: There are numerous syndication tools. I don’t like many of them. The language and culture of major social media platforms changes a lot from one to the next. Would you study Russian if you were planning a trip to France? I hate to see Twitter posts on Facebook pages … Lots of syndication is terrible in the final analysis.

Me again: I am grateful that Frances Flynn Thorsen took the time to reach out from the middle of cyberspace and answer my questions. I feel a lot better about the process, and I also feel that I can now concentrate my efforts.  Here is what she says about her business: 

I work with companies and speakers to develop social media best practices and policies and procedures. I also work one-on-one with social media and blog coaching clients.

I design and execute social media engagement plans for select clients and I teach others how to do it themselves. Frankly, I prefer to teach others how to be their own “social media gurus.”

My process starts with a discussion about needs, followed by a comprehensive social media assessment (your web site, blog(s), Facebook presence, Twitter engagement, LinkedIn, question-and-answer forums, and more). We design a social media plan of action tied to goals. That plan is very specific; leverages the most important platforms for your business; and designs yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily engagement plans.

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