I was standing in a mini-mart the other day waiting to pay for gas, and the beautiful young woman in front of me was complaining to the cashier that even though she’s 30, she always gets carded. I said, “It’s because you’ve got a face like a peach.” It just flew out of my mouth, and then I was glad, because she got it. The girl’s eyes got real big and her mouth opened in this gigantic smile as she thanked me. For a second I thought she was going to hug me.
Recently I was walking out of an office and a woman was walking in, and we held the doors for each other and then laughed, and as I went through, I told her the truth: “You look wonderful.” She did. She had gone to a lot of trouble on her hair and makeup, and her outfit and jewelry were to die for. “Thank you,” she said, beaming. I think when you hand someone a spontaneous, honest compliment like that, it’s so unexpected that you get extra mileage out of it. Maybe that’s because the recipient knows in her gut that a total stranger wouldn’t say that unless it was sincere.
I read about this a long time ago, in a now-defunct magazine called “Lears – for the Woman Who Wasn’t Born Yesterday.” The writer said she was standing on a street corner in NYC, and this woman marched up, dressed to the nines, very tall, very put together, quite intimidating. Everybody was watching her, and her eyes were narrowed, as if daring someone to whistle. She stopped next to the writer, who said, “You look magnificent!” The tigress melted.
Of course we’re afraid to compliment strangers. It’s a weird old world out there, so we’re more guarded, but I think that makes it even nicer when it happens. Go ahead, take a chance. Tell another woman she looks great. Say it with conviction and a smile. Yes, it takes a bit of courage, but why not generate a burst of positivity in the world? The worst she can do is ignore you. The best that can happen is that you’ll feel great about yourself all day long.
Giving a compliment is almost like giving a gift, but it doesn’t cost anything. Who knows, it could spark the “Play if Forward” thing and touch even more lives. I like that thought.
Very interesting post, Lynne. I’m a huge compliment giver to people. And I feel good at the time, but then I wonder why they don’t compliment me back… or say something nice about me, even if my hair is flat, and my jeans stained with Kids’ Tylenol, and my boots have holes in them. Hmmm.
I can relate,Lynne. A coworker gave me a spontaneous compliment the other day and it did feel good. Thanks for the reminder that a little positive effort goes a long way and is well-worth the effort for both the sender and the recipient!
I am totally in the spirit of complimenting people I don’t know. The joy it brings is just wonderful and it’s so much nicer to make people smile than to make them cry — like the road rage guy on the highway the other day! Yikes!
I know what you mean. There have been times, just as you described that I looked over and a compliment just came out my mouth without thinking – the very best kind! I hope I always go for it. It reminds me of one of my favorite statements: “Heart to move me versus My intellect to stop me”
The magical part is that people look ageless and marvelous when they smile, and it is such an easy gift to give to one another. Great post Lynne, you will incite smiles!
This is such an upbeat post, Lynne, and I thank you for making my day! I, too, still remember the honest, spontaneous compliments I’ve received, and recalling them still warms my heart. I think if we just keep our eyes and ears open, we can attune ourselves to noticing that which warrants a compliment, then graciously pass it along!
You’re marvelous yourself to compliment, Lynne. It’s wonderful to watch an older person, the cares of her day pulling face creases, busy hoping she remembers what she went out for, look shocked and then beam. Loved Lears! Will there ever be another, I hope?
I was in the midst of divorce and felt miserable. I was walking up the stairs in a parking garage and smiled briefly at a young man coming down. A moment later, the man, still walking down said, “You have a wonderful smile. ” Years later, that can still warm my day. Person to person, unexpected compliments can alter a day. I try to remember that and pass it on to both males and females.