Most of you remember that life changed drastically for my family when, on February 28, my mother fell and broke her femur in two places. I won’t lie. It’s been hell.
She turned 86 a couple weeks ago, but now we really have something to celebrate. Yesterday instead of driving her home from therapy I said why don’t you try circling the parking lot? And then I pointed her toward the exit. She was tentative, but she’s always been a good driver, and I knew it would lift her spirits. Well, guess what?
SHE’S BACK! It went great. She couldn’t wait to get on the phone and tell my brother and sisters.
Today we’re going over to the clubhouse to check out an exercise group comprised of senior ladies. Mom’s social network back in Hesperia derived from an exercise group she attended three days a week. Instead of picking her up, I suggested we meet in the lobby, that she drive herself. A little nudge toward independence, which she is SO ready for.
I am too. During this convalescence she’s been a different person, more difficult and unhappy, naturally. I miss the old mom, the one who was undaunted by the challenges of aging, preferring to fight. This injury almost took it out of her, but I think I saw that woman again yesterday. The proud little gal in her red car, independent as hell – almost.
I know you’re all cheering. I’ll tell her.
I am happy to hear that your Mom has healed and is back to driving. Love reading your blog and realizing that I should support my parents in maintaining some independence. This month I took them to renew their driver’s license and it went smoothly. They passed their eye exams much to our collective surprise! I usually insist on driving them everywhere, but now I realize it is good for their sense of independence. Thanks Corinne, thanks Lynne!
Yes, Sonia, let them do whatever they can. You’ll be helping more, soon enough! Mom went so many places yesterday she’s all tired and achey today, but we are happy (even though today is the 3rd anniversary of losing my Dad.) Good to hear from you.
That is wonderrful news, and I congratulate you for urging her on. I work in long term care/ senior housing, and often times families stifle the possibility of independence after an incident like her fall. It can be a balance between safety and independence, but I have always believed that we have allowed people to become too dependent when instead we need to support them in maintaining as much independence as possible. By the way, how’s your book coming? I grew up in ND, moved away for years, and recently moved back (and LOVE being “home” again).
Corinne, how neat to hear about your ND connection. My peeps are from around Dickinson, Lefor, Gladstone area so that’s what the book deals with. An editor is combing through it right now and after she gives it back, I’ll start looking for an agent. So it could be a while but thanks for asking!
Re supporting our old folks instead of making them dependent, that’s what’s cool about Mom living by me but not with me. She’s about 4 blocks away now instead of an hour and an half. In a few weeks she’ll probably be strong enough to drive herself to church, grocery store, etc. She’s getting happier by the day. Nice to hear from you.
It’s tough. My father’s 84 and despressed a lot. This stems from knowing he won’t ever be the tough guy he was before 80 years went by. Good luck with your mother. Attitude is so much of happiness. I hope I can remember that if I get up into my eigth decade.
Hi Southmainmuse, I am so sorry about your dad. I wonder what it’s like, for your dad and my mom, when they wake up in the wee hours of the morning and think how few years they have left. I honestly don’t know how I’d handle that. I guess I’d distract myself – my fallback position! Think of something happy.
Thanks for writing. Hope you’ll stop by again.
Yes, I am cheering for Mom and you,Lynne! Your Mom is truly an inspiration. Thanks for sharing her with us and give her extra hugs for me!
Your mom sounds like an inspiration to us all! I’m imagining her taking to the road in her bright red car and then sweatin’ to the oldies with her friends. Good for her and her daughter, too!!!!
Excellent news, Lynnne. The Red Car Guide to Aging … I see that book being written by you with great joy and success! Take care, my friend. (will be warming up here on the prairie this week, nothing like a heat index of 115 to get your attention! But flowers are blooming and words are being written; alas, the ying and the yang always prevails.) –Daisy
Congratulations — to BOTH of you!! My mom still isn’t driving after her cornea transplant (and she might never again), but she didn’t do much driving beforehand. Sounds like your gentle nudges have done the trick, convincing your mom she’s not only ready but capable of doing this again — good for you (and her!)
Happy day for you both!
Lynn, I was just wondering: Was your mom taking fosamax or a bisphosphonate? It seems to me that her break happened right about the time it was announced that this ‘bone-saving’ Rx was also inexplicably linked to large breaks in the femur.
Don’t mean to intrude – it’s the nature of the blog-osphere to want to share info. Hope all goes well from here!
Linda, yes she was! Fosamax! Jesus. (Sorry.) I will monitor whether she plans to go back on it. Thank you so much!
You bet I’m cheering! Please also tell her she did her job well–you’re one fab daughter! She’s blessed.
Yayyy!!! So glad to hear it!! She’ll be as spunky as you are before you know it. 🙂