Today I read that the entire amount of knowledge we accumulated in history doubled in the last two years. I can believe it, because recently, I bought a new DVD player.
I was unhappy with the old one because the colors were distorted. It looked like somebody threw a red shirt into a load of whites. Pink clouds, pink walls, pink socks. Bleah. So I bought a simple model from Target. Plugged it in, but it looked like we were watching the movie through a window screen. Took that back, too. Decided I was going to have to spend more than thirty bucks.
For eighty, at Best Buy, I got a sleek model with Internet capability. I asked the clerk why I needed Internet on my DVD. She said it would download automatic updates, and we could also watch YouTube and Netflix instant streaming.
I like Netflix, so I bought it and tried to connect it, only to discover I’d selected the wired model when in fact I needed wireless. Took it back and exchanged it for a more expensive model. At that point, I was in it for several hours, a hundred dollars and lots of driving.
I now have a TV with a DVD player that’s actually a kind of secondary modem that interfaces with the Verizon modem in my office. It connects with Netflix, YouTube and Pandora Radio, but nothing else. So now I’m thinking, why not the whole Internet? And can my wireless keyboard interface with it? How about phone calls? Texting? Voice recognition? Come on, Samsung, don’t leave me hanging.
All this to watch frickin’ TV. Life is so complicated now. Don’t even ask me about my car. It’s like a rolling iPod or iPad or something. The other day I was trying to show my son a video on my smart phone. We were standing in the driveway next to my car, which was running. Because my phone and my car are connected by Bluetooth, the car overrode the phone and we couldn’t hear any sound. The car had turned my phone’s audio off. I had to turn off the car to restore the audio!
This is life in 2013. I shudder to think what it’ll be like in another two years. I’ll probably need a master’s degree to flush the toilet.
So funny, especially the last line. I know we can’t go backwards when it comes to technology, but at the pace we are going how can anyone keep up?
Pat, there was an article in today’s paper citing a psychologist about how much more anxiety all this connectedness is causing us. People frantic to check their social networks, even crying with frustration about software/hardware that doesn’t work. (Well, I can understand that last part.)
I laughed out loud, read this to my husband and we felt validated. He spent the day home from work yesterday with a tech guy. We are now deciding do we give up the home phone and just use our cells…what give up my home phone???
Patricia, I can’t stand the thought of giving up my house phone, but I’d love to save the money. Thing is, the sound quality is so much better than a cell. And I always know where it is. On the wall.
Exactly, giving up the home phone is like letting go of a trusted friend. But I agree that friend is costing too much a month. We decided to keep ours anyway. The price we are willing to pay for keeping some things the same.
For years husband kept asking me to give up the home phone. I said no because I used the home phone to find my cell phone when I lost it. Another excuse was if I needed to call 911 they’d know where I was…except they know with a cell phone, too. Finally I agreed. I’ve never looked back.
Martha,
Really? Oh, I envy that. I’ll get there soon. Had to laugh about needing it to find the cell phone. So true.
My solution is that I don’t watch much TV. I love a simpler life. I have a smart phone and it continues to outsmart me. So those other things will have to keep their distance. xo Laura
Laura, congratulations on negotiating a truce with technology!
And while we are talking about how difficult all the technology is…. has anyone else purchased a “toy” with no manual? I bought a camera and you have to go online to figure out how to use it. Even then the directions aren’t that detailed and I am not always near a computer when I need help.
. I think all these gadgets are expected to be intuitive…. well my intuition must be going the same direction as my memory… I love digital photography, but while on a cruise my husband got it onto a setting where it took 5 pictures in a row. We could not figure out what he had done and had many multiples until I took it back to the store after the vacay and had the 20-something explain it to me.
Nanci, you make me realize the main underlying pisser to all of this is: I DON’T WANT TO SPEND ALL THAT TIME FIGURING STUFF OUT!! I could, yes, I have the brainpower and so do you, but I get such an overpowering feeling of frustration that I have to spend my precious time figuring out where the right menu is and then what subsequent choice I should make to solve my problem. And even if you DO figure it out, the next time they do an update it’ll all be out of date anyway. There is no opportunity to learn something that you can use next time. Like Chela says, above, there’s no compatibility. The only hope I have is “intuitive” programming, where you poke a certain button because it seems right, and hey, the f$%ker works!
I really loved this post. A few weekends ago, I attended a book festival. My adult daughter went with me. As we were leaving, she said, “Mom, did you bring your new phone?” Well, I had to go back into the house and get the thing out of the box–where I’d put it after three days of accidentally calling people I didn’t know. How embarrassing not to be able to figure out how to use a phone! A phone, for goodness sake! Yes, it is Smart and sleek and able to leap tall buildings, etc. But it makes me feel stupid!
Oh, God, talk about stupid: my son texted me one day and said “are you pocket dialing?” I WAS! A seam was pressing on the send button or something and he was the last one I had called, so my pocket was calling him over and over again. Funny that they call it “dialing.” To the younger peeps, what the heck’s a dial, anyway? Your comment made me LOL, Joy. Literally.
You said it! What’s worst, to me, is that there are no compatibility standards, no consistency standards, nothing to make it even marginally easier for those of us old enough to have learned to type on a manual typewriter. No two copiers have you place the paper to be copied the same way on the glass; no two phones have the same buttons to indicate call or hang up… etc. etc. ad nauseum.
Oh, about compatibility, don’t get me started! This alone was maddening: I had to type in my usernames and passwords (1) to connect my TV to my internet modem ( (2) connect with Netflix, (3) do the same for YouTube, and (4) do the same for Pandora radio. ALL four of them had different mechanisms for entering the characters! and think of it: Where is the keyboard on a TV? Since THERE ISN’T ONE, they all had different screens just for typing, and it required some detective work with the remote to figure out which keys to press to make a keyboard appear! I’m getting heartburn just remembering that day.
After reading (and laughing at!) your post and comments about your car, my old 2003 Toyota is looking better and better! All it does is occasionally lock its doors all by itself. You’ve got to wonder: who’s the master and who’s the servant?
Yep, Sandy, I’m riding in an iPod on wheels. It also has phone function in it, and when I first got it, I’d unknowingly hit the “call” button on the steering wheel, and this authoritative female voice would cut into my music and order me to “SAY A COMMAND.” How about, “BUG OUTTA MY MUSIC, GIRLY!”
So true Lynne…but the way I look at it, who needs to do crosswords anymore to keep our minds flexible and growing? Instead we just learn the language of tech and stay young (at least that’s what I tell myself)…and consider the alternative? If we don’t keep up at our age (no matter what age that really is) then we will definitely be left behind…and I know don’t about you but I am a long way from wanting to be left behind. Of course, it also helps that I like most of it too 🙂 ~Kathy
Kathy, I do think we could get left behind. I mean, for people like my 88-year-old non-computerized mom, she feels totally left out by all this WW stuff, as she calls it. And I recently read that straining the older brain actually helps repair it. A good outcome!
I sometimes say I’d like to move to the mountains where there is no Internet and live a simple life. But alas, I’m hooked on all the technology and like you, have a love/hate relationship.
It took us several months to get our remotes figured out after hooking up Apple TV/Netflix. And one day while talking to a friend on my cell phone, she was dropped from the call and I couldn’t call her back. My husband had started the car outside and he was now talking to her because the car bluetooth picked her up.
OMG, Martha, you too? This isn’t something I’d heard about before it happened to me. I’m going to put it on Facebook and see if others have experienced it.
I can feel your pain. I try to avoid anything with (smart) in the label.
now that’s really smart!
Hey….it all depends on how you define SMART! (sustainable/meaningful/aware/responsible/thankful!)
Smart is good, Kathy!
I can feel your pain. I try to avoid anything with smart in the label.
You crack me up. You always have. I miss you. Are your guys progressing in your story?
brilliant post. now i know why i’m feeling that i can’t keep up with anything anymore. lately i question why i want to – life in the fifties, bring it back! and please, no flushing toilets from my iPhone. surely progress needs some limits.
I think we have to set them, Lynda. Although this picture is worth the price of progress: my grandson, 18 months old, is fascinated with remotes. The other day, he grabbed the one from my bed and ran out of the room. As I’m watching, his 3-year-old sister, now on my bed alone, started rising up. THE BED WAS MOVING! She looked at me, wild-eyed, and I started laughing. Then she did too. I made the baby give the remote back.
quite a moment there. my almost 3 year old granddaughter has “pretend” conversations on the iPhone. it’s worth the laughs.
The 18-month-old will hold anything up to his ear like a phone. Even an empty, hinged pillbox. I think we’ve been on the phone too much in his presence!
And if we have to sync with out toilets, what other anatomical things will they ask us to sync with? I don’t think even George Orwell saw all this coming.
Uh oh. Years ago the stupids were squawking that we’d soon have toilets that could analyze our stuff and tell us how we’re doing. Healthwise, I mean.
That’s just sick. And I don’t mean “good.” I mean the old definition.
This is delightful. I hate being forced to progress whether I want to or not. I’m one of those stubborn people who doesn’t like to be told what to do.;-) Two months ago, I bought a new phone. Still am not comfortable with it… I mean, I still don’t know how to use it.
Ha ha, Tess, I actually bought a phone that doesn’t require electricity to work. Can you imagine? See, my mom has an old (remember “burnt orange”? It’s that color!) phone that keeps working if there’s a power outage. I wanted that. I had to go online to find one (how ironic). The receiver is connected to the phone by a cord. Sound quality is amazing.
Ah, the good old days. 😉
We’ve got a Blueray player that came with our Smart TV it is sitting in the cupboard because I can’t figure out how to connect it. Friend recently told me of her experience staying in a fancy-schmancy hotel where the toilet lid automatically raised every time she walked into the bathroom. Insanity, I tell you!
What if you were just in there to check your makeup? Creepy.
I can so relate to this! I just now have a vague understanding of “streaming TV.” But I think you can do that on your computer/iPad/laptop, too, right???
Yes, Pam, and because of that, I figured I could hook my laptop to my TV and watch DVDs that way; I would skip the player completely. But it wasn’t good enough! For one thing, a cord was needed to connect them (WHAT! No wireless connectivity bet. laptop and TV? Barbaric!) and to pause, FF or rewind, I had to GET UP AND WALK ACROSS THE ROOM. Well, I mean, we are civilized people. Clearly I had no choice but to buy a dedicated device.
It’s getting so difficult to stay low-tech. We’re forced into most of these new bells and whistles. I’m the most disgusted and angry about what has happened to vehicles. I feel very sorry for a lot of the elderly who didn’t grow up or adopt all this high tech. The dashboards in most cars are unbelievable – might as well be flying the space shuttle. What happened to usable design? It’s gone the way of technology bling, dammit.
I was completing a survey recently about my car – it’s a 2013 Honda – and they asked questions about the dashboard like it was a home computer screen. Do I use the Facebook App, for example! I answered with something heated along the lines of “who would be stupid enough to do that in the car?”
Good for you, Lynne. These distractions in one’s vehicle have gone beyond the ridiculous!
My wife and I get up around 4:30 AM and hit our IPhones, IPads, computers (Mac of course), and Kindle Fire. Even a book, a real one. We read, we write, we are married. Married on October 2, 1976. One thing hasn’t changed, we still drink coffee…. first….. from a K cup. I take back the change thing.
Bob, I’m the IT Manager in our home. If anything happens to me and Bill is left on his own, he’ll have to go back to analog and paper.
Great post — very accurate description of what’s what today in high tech and it’s efforts towards total electronic connectivity and integration.
Had to laugh about the toilet. We recently had to replace one of ours and the guy who does this kind of work for us talked us into getting a self-flushing toilet — cf your remark about a master’s degree to flush.
We never got it working. He came back four times and he’d leave with it supposedly working and the first time we used it again it wouldn’t work. Fortunately you can flush it the old fashioned way, too. So we decided not to go back to grad school to learn how to work it.
I thought I was just being futuristic and funny, Martin. With what you and Walker are telling me, though, I think it’s almost time to go all Walden. With Wi-fi, of course.
Walden with Wi-fi. I love it!
I saw a segment on Huff Post yesterday about a bluetooth toilet, you can sync with your iPhone or device and listen to your favorite music while in the bathroom! The wireless DVD is much more practical.
Oh, no! This’ll really mess up houses with teenagers!