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  • Review of Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg

    Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to LeadLean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg
    My rating: 5 of 5 stars

    As I read Lean In, I was intrigued at being able to get inside the head of a dynamic, smart woman who is one generation younger than me, and see the corporate world through her eyes. One of the cultural questions she answered for me was this: why are younger women so averse to the terms "feminist" and "feminism"? Apparently, Sheryl Sanders and her contemporaries believe(d) the following:

    1. Equality having arrived, there's no need for feminism anymore
    2. Feminists are man-haters who resist makeup and the shaving of one's legs

    Okay, #2 was a bit tongue-in-cheek. However, having observed conditions in the real world for a few years now, Sanders has come to see that the playing field is not and will not be level until more women occupy positions of power in the corporate hierarchy. She doesn't suggest that this is due to any malicious intent on the part of men, but rather it's simply a matter of ignorance.

    To illustrate, she describes having to park far away from her office door when hugely and uncomfortably pregnant. When she designated preferred parking spots to accommodate pregnant workers, no one complained. It was seen as logical. But prior to her taking her place in the C-suite, the issue hadn't been raised.

    Sanders talks about not slowing down out of consideration for what might happen in the nebulous future. The example she gives, now famous, is of a young woman confiding her fears of not wanting to accept a job with a lot of responsibility due to the impact it might have on her family. The woman was planning ahead - she didn't even have a boyfriend yet.

    With this example, Sanders makes the point that women, having been highly trained and educated, are waving off promotional opportunities. The jury is still out as to why, but she suggests, and I agree, that part of the reason is this: in corporate America, a woman's decision to go through pregnancy, childbirth, lactation, and child-rearing is viewed as a private matter that should not impact her ability to work long hours and irregular schedules, including lengthy and frequent travel as needed. Rightly fearing this may drive her insane, a woman who wants a family may leap off the corporate ladder at a very early stage.

    Sanders argues that if a young woman stayed on it long enough to secure a more powerful position, she would be able to exert more control over her work life (a perspective the young woman must trust will happen, since at her current low place on the corporate ladder she can only see her lack of power and control.) After a few promotions, she will be able to delegate some of her work to subordinates, afford more help at home, and influence workplace policies that unfairly impact women and families. Who can find fault with this argument?

    Sanders is honest about her own mistakes, and I found that charming. For example, I was amazed that, for all her intelligence and education, she didn't originally intend to negotiate her starting salary with Facebook. Luckily a nice man (her husband) set her straight, and she made a counter offer to Zuckerberg. Reams of guidance have been written about how this error could have impeded her in later years, both at Facebook and with future employers, yet she didn't know. For other women who have not yet made this horrifying discovery, please read Ask for It by Babcock and Laschever (http://www.amazon.com/Ask-Women-Power...) which in addition to being enlightening and entertaining, offers tons of strategies for preparing yourself to negotiate. And not just for salaries. After reading that book I saved $150 on furniture I was going to buy anyway, by asking one question.

    But back to Lean In.

    I was also surprised that she wasn't well informed about how women can sabotage other women in the workplace, particularly women in power. This is an unfortunate truth with roots in biology, and is brilliantly explained in the amazing book, In the Company of Women by Heim and Murphy (http://www.amazon.com/Company-Women-I...) which I reviewed here:
    http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/... This also suggests the reasons Sanders was hit with such a backlash for the well-intentioned Lean In.

    There is so much more to say about Lean In, but let me close with this: I enjoyed learning how this stellar corporate executive struggled, made mistakes, and ultimately learned some strategies that will enable her, her family, and the women (and men) in her corporation to thrive. It's not perfect, and sometimes it's not even pretty, but part of the lesson is to let go of the need for perfection.

    The other message, younger women, is to get as far and as fast as you can before starting your families. Don't opt out just because it looks too hard from where you're sitting now. The view improves with each rung on the ladder.

    View all my reviews

Are Boomers Ready to Share the Pain?

America's fiscal 911 is giving us a huge headache.

That’s the question asked by life coach John Agno here. I was inspired to pick up the thread.

Every age group, every industry, every lobby is going to be required to give up something for the future of the country. If you were going to give up something, what would it be?

Would Bill Gates or Warren Buffet notice if they couldn’t draw monthly SS checks?

Would giant multinational industrial-agricultural complexes (formerly called “farms”) forego crop subsidies?

Would the Pentagon give up the latest multi-billion-dollar surgical strike plaything?

Here’s another opportunity: greater transparency in the health industry would cut costs. Of course, lobbyists (and bought politicians) sneer and say, “Consumers aren’t going to shop around for the best surgeon when they have a heart attack!” Of course not. But there are other things we could shop around for, if we had the chance. Routine testing for example: mammograms, colonoscopies, treadmill – you get the picture.

Recently, I needed abdominal surgery. I had to get a CT scan, and my copay was 100% (I buy my own insurance and it’s the best I can qualify for in the current market; I am not on Medicare.) The cost was $2850 out of pocket. There’s another hospital forty miles away that is also highly regarded, and I have PPO insurance so I could have gone there for the test. I tried to find out what they charged for a CT scan, but they couldn’t tell me. I pursued it from department to department, and here’s what I ended up with: The cost depends on which doctor is on staff that day, and what technician, and what their personal pay rates are, and how long it takes, and…and…and I gave up.

So just try to find out what they charge. You can’t, and maybe you don’t want to. For example, if you have “regular” insurance (e.g. group coverage through an employer, or Medicare) you may not feel the urgency of this issue, but the way things are going in health care, you soon will.

“Cut earmarks! Cut waste and fraud!” Sure. That’s always a good idea, but it amounts to about 1% of the problem. Medicare, Social Security, and defense are the only cuts that will matter.

I worked for thirty years in a corporate setting. I paid into Social Security. Shouldn’t I insist I get mine? Well, I did pay in, and it helped cover Mom and Dad in their golden years. And I got real lucky and ended up at this later part of my life being blessed financially. So if they want to do means testing – ouch! ouch! ouch! – alright, darn it. Cut my “entitlement.” Let the folks who weren’t as lucky or blessed have my share.

Remember the 1960s and 1970s, fellow Boomers? We were strong, we defied the status quo, we defied the older generation who seemed so calcified, so sure of themselves, and so unwilling to bend. Now we’re that generation. I know that, with the Great Recession, there’s way too much pain out there right now, and I don’t want to add to it, but if you are lucky enough to be getting by comfortably, what might you do, fellow Boomer?

Kindle readers can email me at Lmspreen@yahoo.com.

Leave a comment

3 Comments

  1. Hi there

    I chanced on your blog from a comment you left on the Beckel story at Huffington post, and I’ve just read this blog entry. “$2850 out of pocket”???!!!

    I needed an abdominal op in March; internal hernia. I phoned an ambulance on the Friday evening, they arrived within about 10 minutes, checked my vital signs and then took me to the local hospital. Within 20-30 minutes I saw an out of hours GP (general practitioner) who referred me to a surgeon, surgical team really. They prodded me about a bit then sent me down for an x-ray. This told them there was some kind of a blockage but they still didn’t know what so they prodded me a bit more then sent me down for a CT scan.

    Back I came to be told that they still weren’t sure what it was and they would just have to go in and “fix what we find”. I was in theatre by midday Saturday, groggy but awake by Saturday evening, in a nice warm ward again all day Sunday, then Monday morning I was transferred to another hospital a couple of miles away to recuperate for a week. The food was not exactly gourmet, but decent and nutritious, and they even gave me regulation paper PJs because I had no clothes with me except my street-wear.

    There was another x-ray at some point, I think on the Monday before I was transferred.

    And when I came out of hospital a week later I was not one penny out of pocket. I don’t have private health insurance but I do live in Scotland where we pay a proportion of our earnings as National Insurance to cover such things as the National Health Service and Sickness/Incapacity Benefit (for when we are unable to work).

    Please don’t take this as a “yaa boo sucks”. I genuinely sympathise with your situation. But next time anyone tells you the British NHS doesn’t work, refer them to this message.

    All the best for a speedy recovery,

    Chik

    Reply
    • Hey, Chik, I loved hearing from you. Most Americans have a sneaking suspicion that what they have isn’t that great, in spite of the fact that we pay a lot for it. I am amazed at your experience – all that and not a penny out of pocket!!! (Readers, are you noting this?!!)

      My own bill will start at nearly $50,000, although the negotiations between hospital and insurance company (another layer of bureaucracy we pay for: bosses, secretaries, copy machines, phone calls, faxes, etc.) will drop it, eventually, to a lesser amount. Madness! Thanks for weighing in, and I hope you’ll stop by again. How cool to have a buddy all the way over in Scotland.

      Reply
  2. Vonnie Kennedy

     /  December 8, 2010

    This is just scary. Why can’t the U.S. get it right??
    Heal well both of you.

    Reply

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  • Lynne Spreen

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  • Review of Fierce with Age: Chasing God and Squirrels in Brooklyn

    Fierce with Age: Chasing God and Squirrels in BrooklynFierce with Age: Chasing God and Squirrels in Brooklyn by Carol Orsborn
    My rating: 5 of 5 stars

    When I saw the blog post, "Why You Should Treat Aging As A Mystical Journey"(http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8682/w...), I thought I might have found a kindred spirit in the author, Carol Orsborn. When I read this book, Fierce with Age: Chasing God and Squirrels in Brooklyn, I knew for sure. Carol Orsborn is on to something that I, at age 59, am really hungry for. I want to know how to feel valuable, powerful and at peace in the second half of my life, while still fully functioning in a society that demeans, caricatures, and negates older people.

    Carol, who is a good writer, describes a story arc that begins with everything falling apart. She is unwanted and then fired from her job in a world that worships youth. She tries to fight aging by staying in the ring with the younger people, but it gives her no real sense of security. She keeps coming up with ideas for holding back time, only to fail over and over again. Telling of her disappointments, Carol does a good job of layering the blows, one atop the other until we are reeling with her. When everything has been tried, every avenue exhausted, what the hell do we do next? Lie down and die? But we’re old, not dead! How do we navigate this new country?

    Nearly immobilized with discouragement, Carol struggles with the questions I’ve wrangled with: So now what, at this age? Who am I without the accouterments of my earlier life? My job, my youth, my expertise in a particular field? If I’m not running the race, do I even have value?

    One night, in the middle of a furious electrical storm, she stands on her balcony, screaming and shaking her fist at God, daring Him to kill her now.

    And He tells her to get over herself.

    From this point, Carol begins to glimpse another, more powerful reality. A gigantic paradigm shift later, the unfurling of which she describes in the second half of the book, Carol is once again back on top, no longer burdened by but rather fierce with age. And we’re fierce right along with her.

    Carol is very skillful in using metaphor to describe her journey. Particularly satisfying is her change of heart regarding the story of Moses, wherein she finally understands that God was saying, “It's okay to get old. I love you just as you are. So should you.”

    The only problem I had with the book was the spiritual, God aspect. It’s not like Carol misled me. God is in the title. Since I am not a believer, however, some points left me a bit frustrated until I got a brainstorm and began replacing the term "conscious growth" with God, and it worked fine! Here's an example:

    Carol: To stop "doing" my personality and leave space for God requires...

    Lynne: To stop "doing" my personality and leave space for conscious growth requires...

    At some point on our nation's timeline, I believe people our age will stop trying to be young and start seeking and finding the intrinsic value of age. It takes courage, though, because so much of it is beyond our control. Carol makes the point that we have to develop the ability to be at peace with that, and with the strength of maturity, we ought to be able to.

    The reward is freedom to become our true selves, unbound by the constraints of society as currently drawn. As Carol says, "The one thing that is up to you is whether you will make getting old a tragedy, or embark upon it as another of life's great adventures."

    View all my reviews

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beyondthea64's Blog

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David Kanigan: Inspiration, Ideas & Information

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Thoughts on work and life and everything in between

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bobsbooksblog

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Rock the Silver

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The Woman Doctor's Guide

A guide to good health, women's wellness and getting it all done

Life in the Boomer Lane

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