Rossellini younger
The world is a magical place limited to some extent by our low expectations. Today while I was meditating these ideas bubbled up: [Read more…]
What If We Didn’t Consider Aging a Problem?
The Opposite of a Bucket List
You know what a Bucket List is: that list of the things you feel you absolutely must do before you die.
By definition, that would have to be one heavy list. First of all, it ends with your death, and second, there’s probably stuff on it like sky diving (Nanci can cross that off hers) and start a literacy program and reconcile with that icky family member you’ve been avoiding for the past fifty years.
Well, I’m tired of the pressure. Life is hard enough without having a giant existential To Do list, so I’ve decided to rebel.
I’ve decided to start a “F*** It” List.
On this list, I have itemized all the things I’m not going to do, ever. I’m having so much fun with my list. Every time I add something, my shoulders relax, like I just had a good massage, or therapy.
This list has another fabulous purpose: cleaning out your inbox. Like the other day I was doing that, and there was a stack of recipes I was planning to try. Except I found myself thinking F*** It. And I threw them in the trash.
It felt so good that I figured I’m on to something.
Here are two things people (starting with Mom) have always said about me:
You work too hard.
You worry too much.
Not anymore, girlfriends! Because I have discovered the F*** It List.
Ahhhhhh.
Go ahead, try it. But first, tell us, what would you put on your very own F*** It List?
The Courage to Be Average
Saving the Best for Last
If you’ve ever wondered how other women face the challenges and weirdness of aging, this book is for you. It’s a reassuring read.
Know that I am objective. I paid to hear Renee Fisher speak, and I also paid for my copy of the book.
It was only after I left the event and read the book that I realized what a gem I’d purchased.
I am a little obsessed by the process of aging, in case you hadn’t noticed, so a lot of books on the subject have crossed my desk. Many are very good. I referenced a few of those good books at the end of this post about how Jane Fonda is afraid of the aging process (but not afraid to sell us a book about how to be brave and authentic.)
In Saving, Renee, Jean and Joyce are not unafraid, but they are smart and tough enough to face it with their eyes open and then come back to tell us about it. They are thoughtful and introspective.
The book is structured in a very useful way. Each of the chapters begins with information about a particular topic and then all three of them write about their personal experiences with it. Examples of chapters are Rational Women Repeating Irrational Patterns, Our Mothers, Dating and Mating, and Sexuality and the Big Five-Oh! At the end of each chapter are exercises you can do individually or with friends, maybe even a book club, to explore that issue and how it is affecting you. I gather from listening to Renee that this is a good way to find yourself, or the pieces of yourself that went missing in your early years. When you find those pieces, they aren’t always pretty or smooth, but they’re valuable for self-discovery.
Because of this book I was able to ask my mom some sensitive questions about body functions and how she has aged, and thus what I might expect. We also laughed when I read some bits out loud, like when a lover fondled Joyce’s mastectomy prosthesis. It didn’t do a thing for Joyce, but the lover got all excited. Luckily they laughed about it.
From that example you can tell that these authors pull no punches. Aging can be scary and isolating, but they lay out their experiences for you and invite you to join in. It’s entertaining and informative. I laughed and I cried, literally.
Joyce, Renee and Jean did us all a favor by writing this book. You might want to do yourself a favor and read it.
Kindle readers can email me at Lmspreen@gmail.com
No More User Name/Passwords
Almost every time I buy something online, or subscribe to a service, or reveal that I am an alive person, I am encouraged to create an online account. I have accounts for my email and virus protection, utility companies and local library, credit cards, banks, blogs, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Norton, Kindle, Amazon, Office Depot and a whole bunch more.
This phenomenon is becoming unavoidable. When I tried to help Mom change her address with the DMV online, we had to create an account. Or when she tried to cancel the call waiting feature she didn’t ask for/doesn’t want? She had to create an account on TimeWarner.com. Either that or continue to jabber with ineffectual magpies at their 800 number, or go down to the local office and wait in line for forty-five minutes. Neither of which work. So you go online and create an account with a new username and password.
I have more than seventy user name/password combos.
I do not want any more.
Perhaps sensing you’re falling out of love with this process, some companies try to lure you back by letting you personalize a little sliver of their corporate website. They do this by tacking on the cutesy “my” to their web address (e.g. “myverizon” or “mytoyota” or “myfibroids.com.”) (Okay, I made that one up.) Some of them, like my local newspaper, even want you to create personal profiles. Pretty soon you won’t need Facebook. You’ll have “mypressenterprise.com/me”. Go ahead. Put that on your business card instead of a personal website. Wait, I think I’ll delete this blog. You can just go to my page at Frigidaire.
Many of them would like to make it even easier for you to log in by using your Facebook or Google UN/PW. Isn’t that nice of them? I’m sure it’s all on the up-and-up. Very secure.
I’m not a Luddite. I love new technology, but we might have achieved critical mass of ridiculousness, and now it’s time to stop and reassess. Does it make sense that corporations are firing all their humans and then programming software to act like employees? Who needs a bricks-and-mortar bank, store or library? You just go on the Internet and, with the help of a smug little voicebot, do it all yourself. Pretty soon we’ll be performing surgery on our own bodies. The only thing we’ll need is the proper user name and password.
Kindle readers can contact me at Lmspreen@gmail.com.
Caregiving Might Keep You Young
A few years ago, I got my own cardiologist. That’s because like many women, I did such a good job of caring for my husband after his surgery that I began having heart palpitations and panic attacks. So I would agree that caregiving is stressful in the extreme. [Read more…]
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