A couple days ago, my writing group gave me a ration of crap. They started out nice, and then they got pornographic. They were hootin’ and howlin’, laughing like a bunch of drunk teenage girls over one word. (The one guy who showed up today said this is why he likes being in an all-woman group.)
All because of my candy-ass sex scene.
I guess I’m sort of a prude. I don’t like writing about graphic sex. Him touching her whatever, or her doing X to his anything. I like to read what other people write, but my mom’s still alive, for crying out loud, and she reads my stuff.
And my kids! No, no, no.
Look, I was there in the 1960s. Sex, drugs, rock and roll, baby. But that was forty-plus years ago. I’m way more modest now.
So I need your help. With a reader’s objectivity, maybe you can help me finish the problematic paragraph.
Here’s the setup: it’s New Year’s eve at a hotsy-totsy party in Savannah. Karen is drinking, dancing, and responding to the flirtations of a media mogul. She’s 50, and he’s a bit older, a bazillionaire who holds the keys to her professional future. Anyway, I need help with the last sentence:
“…he tipped her chin up and kissed her, exploring her mouth with his tongue. She felt the heat begin, from her breasts, to her belly, to below.”
The word below is what got the girls all rowdy. They said it sounded Victorian, and I needed to be much more graphic. Then they started shouting out examples, which got progressively more outlandish and amusing, as my face got redder and redder, per Mary Jane who was sitting next to me. I swear to God, I refuse to include wet panties or furry mound in this book, and probably any other that I write.
But something more than below. I admit, it’s weak. Any ideas? Maybe you can come up with something.
Just scribble your ideas in the comments below, and thanks, you sexy things.
(PS: if you saw another post this morning about inconveniencing others, I auto-published a draft post by mistake. That’s set for next week. Sorry!)