The Opposite of a Bucket List

You know what a Bucket List is: that list of the things you feel you absolutely must do before you die.

By definition, that would have to be one heavy list. First of all, it ends with your death, and second, there’s probably stuff on it like sky diving (Nanci can cross that off hers) and start a literacy program and reconcile with that icky family member you’ve been avoiding for the past fifty years.

Well, I’m tired of the pressure. Life is hard enough without having a giant existential To Do list, so I’ve decided to rebel.

I’ve decided to start a “F*** It” List.

On this list, I will itemize all the things I’m going to not do, ever. So far this is what is on it:

  • play piano
  • speak Spanish
  • look young
  • read the classics
  • have beautiful nails
  • care about how I look naked from the back

I’m having so much fun with this list. Every time I add something, my shoulders relax, like I just had a good massage, or therapy.

This list is becoming increasingly useful for another reason. I was cleaning out my inbox the other day, and there was a stack of recipes I’m planning to try. Except I found myself thinking F*** It. And I threw them in the trash.

It felt so good that I figured I’m on to something.

Here are two things people (starting with my Mom) have always said about me:

You work too hard.

You worry too much.

Not anymore, girlfriends! Because I have discovered the F*** It List.

Ahhhhhh.

Go ahead, try it. But first, tell us, what would you put on your very own F*** It List?

Comments

  1. Jan Moorehouse says

    So glad I read your article this morning and followed your link to the F*** It list! How did I miss this one?! Too busy, probably, still trying to do too many things. I put “Write a book” on my F*** It list. Also on that list: “Knit lace.” Also–thank GOD!–on that list, “Try to reconcile with everyone I ever worked with who ended up hating me.” Instead, I’m spending time on the true friends I made along the way. SO LIBERATING! Thank you, Lynne.

  2. Melanie says

    Trying to explain myself or justify what I say or do. If you don’t get it or it doesn’t work for you . . . . F##k it! =) Ahh, feels good.

  3. says

    Yesterday, before I read this post, I offered something for free on a Freecycle list.
    I used to do “interpretive Eastern Dance” just for fun. (Belly-dancing without the strict rules of motion) I had purchased a little “kit”: CD, DVD, stick on belly jewel, finger cymbals… but I never got around to using it, and surgical scars and new plumbing means those outfits won’t work anymore anyway… I hadn’t thought of a To Don’t List before, but that’s perfect for getting rid of the excess accumulation of stuff that I’ve collected over the years. If I say, I have to get rid of this, I resist. But if I say F*&* it, whoa! a whole ‘nother feeling. Thanks Lynne!

    Carol

  4. says

    Excellent! I do have a bucket list but also have an anti-bucket list on my blog as there is so much stuff I see on lists that I don’t care to do. I have to say, the title of your list has sooo much more attitude. :)

  5. says

    Now you are talking! People have always told me that I work and worry too much also. After my heart attack this year, that had to stop. My list is not written but it is in my head. Actually, I am enjoying this new way of life. It sure is less stressful. Hey, it is even fun at times. Thanks for writing about your list. Maybe I will write mine on paper too.

  6. says

    What a wonderful idea, Lynne — you’re so clever to come up with it! First on my F***It list is making a conscious effort to slow down a bit. I’ve always been a “hurrier,” rushing from one task to another and deriving extreme pleasure when I can wrap up something, tie it with a bow, and set it on a shelf. But hurrying distracts me to the extent that I’m not cognizant of what I’m doing (usually two things — or more!) at once, and then I wind up injuring myself (paper cuts, silly falls, etc.)

  7. says

    Oh wow…my brain went into shock while I was reading this, making up a crazy, wonderful NOT-to-do list. Don’t do laundry anymore. No more cleaning the bathrooms or litter box. And windows…forget it!

    I had to put a stop to it though because those are on the HAVE-to-do list, not the bucket list. Too bad…

    Now I just have to wrap my mind around this lovely thought and start my list. My brain is still in shock, so it might take a day or two. A NOT-to-do list… Fantastic idea! :)

  8. says

    Lynne, I have a rolling list of Should’s that I consign to my Opposite of a Bucket List on a daily basis. (Some Should’s keep jumping back out, but I figure if I toss them in that bucket often enough, they’ll eventually stay put!) Love this idea. Posted it on my blog tonight. :-)

    • says

      Hey, Jeanne, we’re all overworked pimps of some kind, so at least you have company. And thank God for the F*** It List – in a hundred years we’ll all be dead so a lot of it really doesn’t matter. May as well dance, right?

  9. says

    I just obsessed over sending out a “perfect” book proposal, clicked submit, and then saw this pop up on Twitter. OMG, I laughed out loud! Shared it on my FB page. Thanks!

    • says

      Victoria, you are so welcome. My mom always says, “Life’s too short.” It’s her catchphrase for just about everything. Meaning, life’s too short to worry if you got all the commas in the right place. But good luck anyway!

  10. Trish says

    I’ve been heading that direction in small ways. When I was younger, I was up on every trend, news story, etc. and as I’ve gotten older, feel more pressure to stay relevant. But I’ve realized, I’m just not that interested in half the stuff out there! So much is tedious, annoying, ridiculous. Who cares about Hollywood gossip, gadgets I’ll never buy, Tv shows I’ll never watch, books I’ll never read, etc. So, F*** it! Next up, saying F*** it to the aging process…

  11. says

    Lynne,
    This is a hilarious and fabulous idea! As women, we get so caught up in trying to do everything and please everyone that we forget to breath and just be. Health problems already forced me to cut back to all but essentials– first to go on my F*** list was ironing and cooking.

  12. says

    Wow, Lynne, you better patent this “F*** it list”, it’s too clever not to.

    I have a tiny bucket list, but it usually ends with “when I save up enough money”, but now I’m saying F*** the money!

    Curious about one item on your list though, you don’t care about how you look naked from the back? HOW ‘BOUT THE FRONT GIRLFRIEND? LOL

  13. says

    Lynne ,this is a brilliant idea and,I agree, so liberating. Come to think of it,I’m pretty much living life on my own terms since I retired(Yay!) but I will keep it in mind the next time i feel obligated about something. So refreshing!!

  14. says

    Here’s a couple of my F-Its…. start a running program, feel like I have to be available to everyone for anything they want me to do. YES!!!! Quoth the raven…..

  15. Sue says

    Love this!!!….. I also have lists like this precipitated by life changing events like my divorce or selling my home and moving to a condo. Some highlights for me… I never have to eat Mexican again, never have to rake the leaves again etc. Enjoy creating your own it’s very liberating!

  16. says

    You guys are awesome! I love your energy. And I’m so glad you love this idea!! Really think I’m on to something.

    Re the bike, my sweetie and I bought a couple of bikes (big cruisers with soft seats and 5 gears) a few years ago. I was surprised at how shaky we were at first, but you know what? Our balance improved and now we just glide thought the neighborhood early before most people are up. Sweet! He has a horn on his, and I have a traditional bicycle bell. I also use mine for actual exercise: I wear my sneakers and walk it downhill to add minutes to the ride. We feel free, like kids again. I heartily recommend it. But if you don’t want to, F*** It!

  17. says

    Oh, heck yeah! I’m with Laura …. I’m going after another cup of coffee and starting that list right now! Thanks, Lynne! For such a fabulous idea! … First off the list …. thinking that at 61 I have to keep pushing myself like I did at 41 or even 51 … to be happy .. I’m finding CONTENTMENT …. accepting life for what it is, both good and bad, and knowing that everything is all right! Just as it SHOULD be … including me and my place in this world … so … YEAH!!
    F*** it!

  18. says

    I love this idea, although I have to admit if someone comes out with an adult bike that has big training wheels, I will happily jump aboard. And I have a fantasy of hiring someone to carry me up to Machu Picchu. But other things, like finishing Anna Karenina or understanding (or caring about) sports, fagheddabaoudit.

  19. Libbye A. Morris says

    How liberating! I, too, think you’re on to something. At the top of my list would be worrying what other people think of me. I’ve done that all my life, and I’m tired of it!

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