People like to say bad things about women competing with each other, and stabbing each other in the back. Every fiber in my being resists these petty stereotypes.
It’s in our DNA, our genes, our chromosomes to be catty and judgmental. But we have to stop being that way. The circle repeats itself because young girls see us behave that way and they learn the behavior. It must stop.
I think she means that part about DNA metaphorically, and I agree with the part about younger women. Gini continues:
Supporting other women is the very first step…Stop judging what they’re wearing, how they speak, how they do their hair, and whether or not we think we could live their lives better than they do.
Why do we judge other women? Once alerted to this behavior, if I were inclined to judge, I’d ask myself, “What’s my motivation?” How does it serve me, to point this out about a complete stranger?”
Truth: If I’m with a woman friend, it might bind us more closely, in that we’re tittering at the same thing. If I’m with my husband, it might alert him that I would never sink to that other woman’s level. But doesn’t that make Bill the boss, and me the supplicant? Who gives a shit what he thinks about that other woman’s weight or plastic? It’s my choice to hand him, or any man, the power to select and discriminate.
I guess this means I believe that vying for men’s approval, in whatever context, is still the main motivation underlying this unsisterly behavior. Men being the ruling class (Don’t agree? Look at the gender balance in the legislative branch of government, or the CEOs of Fortune 500 companies. There are no more significant indicators of power in America than these two), maybe we’re subconsciously trying to align ourselves with the power gender, by whatever means possible. Building ourselves up by tearing our sisters down.
If true, that should be an easy thing to break free of. All we have to do is ask ourselves what our motivation is for making the negative comments. Then take it up a notch: help a gal get ahead. A rising tide lifts all boats. Once we’re all eatin’ good, the sniping should stop. That’s my take, anyway. What do you think? (For Part 2 of Backstabbing Women, click here.)