Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
As I read Lean In, I was intrigued at being able to get inside the head of a dynamic, smart woman who is one generation younger than me, and see the corporate world through her eyes. One of the cultural questions she answered for me was this: why are younger women so averse to the terms "feminist" and "feminism"? Apparently, Sheryl Sanders and her contemporaries believe(d) the following:
1. Equality having arrived, there's no need for feminism anymore
2. Feminists are man-haters who resist makeup and the shaving of one's legs
Okay, #2 was a bit tongue-in-cheek. However, having observed conditions in the real world for a few years now, Sanders has come to see that the playing field is not and will not be level until more women occupy positions of power in the corporate hierarchy. She doesn't suggest that this is due to any malicious intent on the part of men, but rather it's simply a matter of ignorance.
To illustrate, she describes having to park far away from her office door when hugely and uncomfortably pregnant. When she designated preferred parking spots to accommodate pregnant workers, no one complained. It was seen as logical. But prior to her taking her place in the C-suite, the issue hadn't been raised.
Sanders talks about not slowing down out of consideration for what might happen in the nebulous future. The example she gives, now famous, is of a young woman confiding her fears of not wanting to accept a job with a lot of responsibility due to the impact it might have on her family. The woman was planning ahead - she didn't even have a boyfriend yet.
With this example, Sanders makes the point that women, having been highly trained and educated, are waving off promotional opportunities. The jury is still out as to why, but she suggests, and I agree, that part of the reason is this: in corporate America, a woman's decision to go through pregnancy, childbirth, lactation, and child-rearing is viewed as a private matter that should not impact her ability to work long hours and irregular schedules, including lengthy and frequent travel as needed. Rightly fearing this may drive her insane, a woman who wants a family may leap off the corporate ladder at a very early stage.
Sanders argues that if a young woman stayed on it long enough to secure a more powerful position, she would be able to exert more control over her work life (a perspective the young woman must trust will happen, since at her current low place on the corporate ladder she can only see her lack of power and control.) After a few promotions, she will be able to delegate some of her work to subordinates, afford more help at home, and influence workplace policies that unfairly impact women and families. Who can find fault with this argument?
Sanders is honest about her own mistakes, and I found that charming. For example, I was amazed that, for all her intelligence and education, she didn't originally intend to negotiate her starting salary with Facebook. Luckily a nice man (her husband) set her straight, and she made a counter offer to Zuckerberg. Reams of guidance have been written about how this error could have impeded her in later years, both at Facebook and with future employers, yet she didn't know. For other women who have not yet made this horrifying discovery, please read Ask for It by Babcock and Laschever (http://www.amazon.com/Ask-Women-Power...) which in addition to being enlightening and entertaining, offers tons of strategies for preparing yourself to negotiate. And not just for salaries. After reading that book I saved $150 on furniture I was going to buy anyway, by asking one question.
But back to Lean In.
I was also surprised that she wasn't well informed about how women can sabotage other women in the workplace, particularly women in power. This is an unfortunate truth with roots in biology, and is brilliantly explained in the amazing book, In the Company of Women by Heim and Murphy (http://www.amazon.com/Company-Women-I...) which I reviewed here:
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/... This also suggests the reasons Sanders was hit with such a backlash for the well-intentioned Lean In.
There is so much more to say about Lean In, but let me close with this: I enjoyed learning how this stellar corporate executive struggled, made mistakes, and ultimately learned some strategies that will enable her, her family, and the women (and men) in her corporation to thrive. It's not perfect, and sometimes it's not even pretty, but part of the lesson is to let go of the need for perfection.
The other message, younger women, is to get as far and as fast as you can before starting your families. Don't opt out just because it looks too hard from where you're sitting now. The view improves with each rung on the ladder.
View all my reviews
fictionfitz
/ February 22, 2013Perfect timing for a break. Yesterday I drove 200 miles to see a friend unhappy in assisted living and another in a nursing home ready to depart this life. I wondered, was it the driving that tired me out? Thanks for all the pictures with the captions.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 22, 2013You’re a good guy, Bob. Rest.
fictionfitz
/ February 23, 2013Maybe so, but it gets in the way of my writing.
Donna
/ February 22, 2013What an awesome-looking grandmother you are — oh, and the kids are cute, too! Looks like we watch the same channel on TV.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 22, 2013Yep, we’re golfers!
Susan Ritchie
/ February 22, 2013LOVED the break!
Lynne Spreen
/ February 22, 2013So I’m guilt-free!
cindyricksgers
/ February 22, 2013Lovely family!
Lynne Spreen
/ February 22, 2013We’re blessed, Cindy.
Sarah
/ February 22, 2013This makes me look forward to the possibility of grandchildren- thanks Lynne!
Lynne Spreen
/ February 22, 2013Sarah, the other day Bill said “I think you love our granddaughter as much as your son (her daddy).” That stopped me short. It’s true.
Kathryn Jordan
/ February 22, 2013What adorable grandkids! Makes all deadlines, writing and marketing frenzy, etc. fade to insignificance. Think I’ll book a trip to Louisiana to see mine – also a boy and girl, 3 and 1.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 22, 2013They are totally worth anything it costs.
Debbie
/ February 22, 2013Well, I’m not at the grandbaby-stage of life yet, Lynne, but I can see you’re getting a workout! Good for you, good for them! Nice to kick back and “relax” (from work anyway!) for a day. Enjoy your weekend!
Lynne Spreen
/ February 22, 2013Oh, man, Deb, TGIF!!
Susan Gaites
/ February 22, 2013Thanks for sharing and taking a break! You guys look great and so do the kids! We enjoy our grandkids too! They grow up fast!!
Lynne Spreen
/ February 22, 2013So good to hear from you, Susan! Hope life is treating you well.
Sandra
/ February 22, 2013Thanks for the delightful break. A pleasure to read. Yes, they do grow up so quickly, you obviously know what is really important. You’re very lucky to live so close by.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 22, 2013That’s a priority for me, Sandra, although it’s not just a matter of preference – sometimes work or something else forces you apart. My two stepkids, and thus my other grandbabies, live in Central Oregon and Atlanta, respectively. Very hard to see them often, but the parents had to follow either their dreams or job prospects, as the case was. So goes life.
Barbara
/ February 22, 2013Ahhh, you made me smile. What a lovely gift for, yes, you said it, what has been a “heavy” week. What beautiful grandbabies you have!
Lynne Spreen
/ February 22, 2013And one of them is currently preventing me from spending much time here gotta go!!1
Nanci
/ February 22, 2013What a beautiful family, Lynne.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 22, 2013I am so blessed, Nanci. I’m thrilled that my son and DIL let us into their lives to this extent. Sure they get the childcare, but it’s still pretty barrier-free living. Sometimes as we’re doing the morning dance, the four of us handling the babies, making lunches, angling for a shot at the fridge, and jabbering about what was in the news that morning, it seems like we’re all roommates. So we do a hip-check to get past, and say, Sorry, Roomie! Precious times.
Susan Moore
/ February 22, 2013The picture of grandpa reading to his granddaughter is so cozy and perfect, I hope you’ve got framed copies somewhere in both houses!
Lynne Spreen
/ February 22, 2013I’ve got a bunch on my hard drive, Susan, but I should put together an album. For a while she was a little standoffish with Grandpa but now she’s back to being one of his best buddies.
Donna
/ February 22, 2013Beautiful Grandbabies Lynne. There is nothing that compares to having a little one call me Grandma. Donna Holland
Lynne Spreen
/ February 22, 2013Donna, so true, so true! Glad you came by. See you around “campus”!
Linda Hoye
/ February 22, 2013Aw…look at those precious faces! And look at you, Lynne, holding that little one up! I’m envious of all the time you get to spend with your grands. They, and you, are blessed beyond measure.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 22, 2013You are right, Linda. Thanks for coming by.
Linda D'Ae-Smith
/ February 22, 2013Wow, 4 days a week! I’m tired after watching one grandbaby for just 1 day a week.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 23, 2013Linda, I thought I was going to die at first! But you get used to it, and actually, I’m more limber now than ever. Also, I think I’m stronger. It’s not a strength-training program I’d recommend, but I’m AMAZED at how much younger my body behaves. HOWEVER, I do pay the price after sitting too long, or in the morning, etc. The weekends are a needed recovery time.
Pat
/ February 23, 2013Oh, Lynne, this was the perfect break from the hassles of my crazy week. Your grans are so cute. And you are right, you don’t need the gym to stay fit…just try keeping up with a two year old.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 23, 2013Or carrying the 10-monther around – he is really strong, and squirmy!
Sandra Nachlinger
/ February 23, 2013The picture of your husband reading to your granddaughter warmed my heart. There’s nothing like a warm snuggly child on your lap, sharing a book. When my granddaughter first arrived, I’d get down on the floor with her and have a hard time getting up. Two years later, and I’m up in a flash! I’ve also grown stronger in my arms as she has gained weight. Those are extra unexpected benefits of babysitting once or twice a week. We’re lucky to be sharing our lives with our children and grandchildren, aren’t we?
Lynne Spreen
/ February 23, 2013Sandy, that’s so cool what you said about how your body got better after awhile. It really is true. It hurts, but the strength and limberness is there. Weird to get stronger at this age! I’m proud of it. And yes, the best part is the realization that you are walking around in a dream…it’s real; try to capture it in your memories for when they’re so big they don’t let you snuggle them anymore.
KO
/ February 24, 2013Wow Lynne – your developing some biceps there. You look great! What a great way to keep in shape. Looks like Bill has found his comfort zone.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 24, 2013KATHY!!! You surfaced! Hope the approaching spring in SA is giving you a happy little buzz. I miss you, Sis!
KO
/ March 6, 2013I also have to say that I envy your Grandmothering role. Those are some pretty babies. If only Nicky and Jolly would get busy. Love to you an Bill
heather
/ February 25, 2013I enjoyed seeing you and your husband with the beautiful grandchildren. You are performing a marvelous service to humanity – it takes a village to raise a child. Bless you.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 25, 2013Thanks, Heather, but they’re giving me a precious gift, too. Bill and I are so lucky to be able to be part of their daily lives. But you are right – it does take more than just one little nuclear family. Some mornings it seems like we all 6 live together, 3 generations doing our thing to get the day moving. Babies jabbering or fussing, parents rushing and organizing, and grandparents helping. It’s like a dream come true for this former career woman who could only take off one month before going back to work. Luckily my mom babysat my son for his first year. That baby grew up to be the father in this story, so it seems to be a repetitive theme in our family. Again, so grateful. Thanks for stopping by!
barbhughes1
/ February 25, 2013ADORABLE KIDS!
Lynne Spreen
/ February 27, 2013Thanks Barb. They have their moments. No, just kidding. I’m just whipped right now. We have both of them all day today and they’re at this weird stage where they’re really competitive. We call it the Green Eye. Bad case of The Green Eye today. Yowza. TG they just both went down for a nap at the same time.
Pennie
/ February 27, 2013Enjoyed this post and seeing your grand babies. You are so wise and lucky to be spending this time with them!
Lynne Spreen
/ February 27, 2013Pennie, thank you. And see above.
Kathleen Pooler (@KathyPooler)
/ February 28, 2013How precious, Lynne! You are definitely getting the ultimate workout, maybe even rivaling a marathon. They are beautiful. You will never regret spending this time with them. I imagine you sleep very well at night.
Lynne Spreen
/ March 1, 2013Kathy, everything you say is true. And I do sleep very well at night, thanks to Tylenol and a heating pad!