A few weeks ago I wrote about saving $50 because I took a chance and negotiated, even though I’m not that kind of girl. (I once bought a car at full sticker price because the salesman told me no negotiations were allowed on that model. For the love of God, how stupid can you be? But I got even with the dealership. I married the owner, and he took the car back.)
Anyway, I challenged you to start negotiating. Look for opportunities to improve your life, I said. Just ask for a sweetener. You might be surprised.
But then I did the exact opposite of what I told you.
Last Tuesday I went to my local gym to see how much it would cost to get a trainer. My workout routine is as old as I am, and I need something I can do at home, because in a few months I’m doing a deep dive into fulltime babysitting.
The sales person told me it would cost $150 to sign up for the training (on top of the gym membership that I already paid for), and $60 a week for one session. Holy crap! Are you kidding me? Pleading poverty, I rose to leave.
But she was a nice young woman, and persistent, so I stayed. I kept thinking of that darned book called Ask for It, and the authors, Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever, pleading with us women to believe them. To paraphrase: “women get taken all the time because they don’t ask! Men are richer because they ask!” So I asked her to waive the signup fee. My heart was pounding and I felt awkward (as in cheap, weak, low-class), but I had this weird feeling that Sara and Linda were hovering over me, arms crossed, and ready to hit me with an imaginary rolling pin. So I stuck to my guns. Well, half my guns – I still thought $60 per session was too high, but I didn’t have any more courage.
The girl went to ask her manager. He came back. We talked. Then he dropped the price! I walked away with NO signup fee and $45 a session, good for as long as I want. No, I am not kidding. I felt like crying and hugging these people. I love them, and I love my gym (only fair to say, it’s LA Fitness).
So here’s what I learned, for future negotiations:
1. Before you arrive at the negotiating table, decide what your bottom line is (I failed to do this and it left me sputtering at a time when it was important to appear confident.) My bottom line was $45, a fact I only realized when I walked out of the gym thinking, “I feel good about this price. For this price, I will stick with the program.”
2. Remind yourself, once you’re at the table, that women don’t tend to bargain. This leaves more money for the men. So be a man. Bargain.
Since women usually do not bargain (a documented fact), they have less money later in life (also a documented fact). We need to preserve our cash, girls. And, at our age, after all we’ve been through, we should have the cajones to do it.
We might be wrinkly, but what comes with old age? Power!
The power of knowing you’re worth it, whatever it is. Of knowing you’d rather go without, than feel sick about going along. Next time you’re about to spend money, ask yourself if you feel good about it. Ask the seller if there’s any wiggle room. Ask if they can do any better. Ask to step away to make a phone call. Ask for time to think. Ask for anything, but for the sake of your own well-being, learn to ask.
Life in the Boomer Lane
/ May 18, 2012Good one, Lynne! I had heard years ago that anything can be negotiated, certainly anything involving services rendered. Last week, I reacted a bit negatively to word from my dentist that I would need a new $1500 crown to replace an old crown that was simply old. The dentist then told me that I was eligible for a 15% senior discount. But I know the offer wouldn’t have been made had I not objected to the cost of the crown.
Lynne Spreen
/ May 18, 2012EXACTLY. By reacting “a bit negatively,” in essence you were “asking”. And the dude folded. He probably made up that senior discount on the spot. AWESOME, Renee!
Robert
/ May 18, 2012A rendition of this on the streets of New York. Hawker of say, sunglasses: Ten dollah, ten dollah, ten dollah. Sidewalk customer: All I got is a 5 and a fifty. Hawker: Ok, 5 dollah for you.
Lynne Spreen
/ May 18, 2012Hahaha! and watch your back, right?
Mad Queen Linda
/ May 18, 2012It can be useful to remember, too, that rarely is something “one of a kind.” In many cases you can get the same thing elsewhere, possibly for less money. I think if you had walked out that gym door without signing on for the trainer at the original price, someone would have called you or run out after you to offer you a better deal. Getting past the “shiny thing” sensation makes for a less emotional decision, and more money for a celebratory martini.
Lynne Spreen
/ May 18, 2012God, I wish I could still drink martinis.
Pennie
/ May 18, 2012Proud of your courage, Lynne! And I will be thinking about you the next time I come across the opportunity to negotiate. I am hoping I wll have that same courage to follow your lead…..
Lynne Spreen
/ May 18, 2012Like I said, Pennie, just think of it this way: do you want to save more money for the men? or take it for yourself? Strangely motivating.
Pat
/ May 18, 2012Right on, Lynne. You always seem to hit the nail on the head. Why is it so hard for women of our generation to bargain or like you say ASK? Every week you validate me with your insights.
Lynne Spreen
/ May 18, 2012Wow, Pat, what a kind thing to say. But it’s actually the other way around. Validation-wise, I mean. Thank you.
Debbie
/ May 18, 2012Good for you, Lynne! And doesn’t it feel good to walk away knowing you’ve succeeded in keeping more of your money while still scoring the services you want? You’re an inspiration, Sistah!
Lynne Spreen
/ May 18, 2012It was THRILLING, Deb! I was so excited I ran home and told my husband, the car guy, all about it. He was proud of me. I’m finally growing up.
sally
/ May 18, 2012I’m not a writer, so this will probably be a jumbled mess. I often advised people “It can’t hurt to ask, if they say no, that never killed anyone.” As a nation we aren’t hagglers. I have a price in mind, if I want it and it’s at my price I’ll buy. If it’s to high, I’ll wait for it to come down to where I want it, if not, Oh well, I’ll get along without it or find something else. I’ve spent alot of time recently getting rid of alot of impulse purchases, and am getting better at saying no.
Lynne Spreen
/ May 18, 2012Hey, Sally, good to hear from you. Re negotiating, you were born to it. It probably seems more logical to you. See you next month.
isthisthemiddle
/ May 18, 2012Loved this– my husband has always been the superior negotiator, but it’s past time for me to grow cojones for myownself. Thanks for a great illustration and reminder that the men can’t have all the darn $$$!
Lynne Spreen
/ May 18, 2012Shoot, is that how you spell cajones? Dang.
blessedmamaof5
/ May 18, 2012Met you through Christina K – Just visited your blog today and kudos to you for asking/negotiating. And special kudos for working with a personal trainer. My son is a personal fitness trainer and he watches his customer improve so much quicker with a personalized plan.
Lynne Spreen
/ May 18, 2012Jan, thanks for stopping by. Isn’t Christina amazing? Re the trainer, I am excited to learn about working my 58-year-old body. My new trainer is about 14, but he’s really knowledgeable and smart. Can’t wait to start seeing changes.
Kathleen Pooler (@KathyPooler)
/ May 18, 2012You really scored,Lynne in several ways here: in getting a personal trainer because you are worth it; in doing it on your own terms and for this powerful reminder to those us who are of “a certain age” that we need to step out of our comfort zones and go for what we need and want. You inspire,Lynne!
Lynne Spreen
/ May 18, 2012Takes one to know one, Kath.
janrcarlsen
/ May 19, 2012Good job Lynn ,I always try to do the same thing with everyone ,and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t but I try.my son says this isn’t Mexico but why not try? I really think you can get a deal if you ask ! I am glad to hear that you went to Ansestry to look at your family tree and I am not surprized that you are connected to someone great,you are really a nice person and I enjoyed your blogging class and your blogs. Sincerely ,Jan Carlsen
Lynne Spreen
/ May 19, 2012Hey Vintage Girl, good to hear from you! Thanks for your kind words and I hope we’ll cross paths often.
Madeleine Kolb
/ May 19, 2012Well done, Lynne
I worked with a young female engineer once who had a great strategy for doing comparison shopping for a new car. She faxed her specs to various dealers, using a gender-neutral
name–initial of first name and full last name. When she got back the price info. she used it to negotiate the best deal.
Lynne Spreen
/ May 19, 2012What a smart kid. Proves why we need more female engineers. BTW, I asked The Car Guy about her strategy, and he said that’s the only way to go. He adds this: don’t even deal with a salesperson who won’t give you the info you’re asking for via fax or email. If they call and try to get you to come down, don’t.
Charlie Griffin
/ May 19, 2012Wish there were more post like this.
Lynne Spreen
/ May 19, 2012Thanks, Charlie. Glad you liked it. See you around.
Vonnie
/ May 21, 2012Good job, Lynne. I’m not a negotiator either, but you’ve given me hope. Thanks for the post.
womanmdsguide
/ November 13, 2012Don’t feel bad about how you’ve spelled cojones. I used to think they were some sort of fried cornmeal dumpling, like hush puppies. But I could never find them on the menu at the taco place.